TEARS IN HEAVEN
Chapter Seventeen
Two Months Later
Rose stood toe to toe, glaring at both the
doctor and her husband. "He's coming home. I don't care what you
say," she declared, daring them to argue with her.
Dr. Lovett sighed and looked at the
headstrong woman before him sympathetically. "I understand your concern,
Mrs. Dawson, but I can't--"
"You understand my concern?" Rose
spat back at him, giving him an incredulous look. "Listen to me, very,
very carefully. You've told us that our son is steadily getting worse and is
not expected to make it, right? You told me my son is going to die! If that's
the case, I don't want him dying alone in some sterile hospital. I know my son
would hate that. If there is nothing more you can do for him, for God's sake,
let him die at home, surrounded by the people who love him."
Jack shook his head. "You'll have to
excuse my wife. All this is getting to her. She's not thinking clearly,"
he said to the doctor.
Rose's contemptuous glare landed on Jack,
hard. "I am, in fact, thinking perfectly clear, Jack. How can you
stand there and let your son die here? He should be at home with us for his
final days!" she yelled, tears cascading down her cheeks.
Jack sighed. "You know I want him home,
Rose. But we have to be realistic here. We can't adequately care for him on our
own. They can, here."
"Oh, like they've done such a wonderful
job caring for him so far? Don't tell me I can't care for my own child. He's
coming home, regardless of what any of you say. I'll take care of him with or
without you. But without you will be harder," Rose shot at Jack, her eyes
pleading with him to agree with her.
Knowing Rose was right and that she wouldn't
let this go until she got her way, Jack relented. "We're taking him home,
Doc."
The doctor reluctantly conceded. "If
you're insistent on removing him from our care, I'd at least advise you enlist
the help of a home nurse. I can give you a few recommendations."
Rose silently nodded at Jack's questioning
look. Facing Dr. Lovett, he nodded. "All right. When will we be able to
bring him home?"
Dr. Lovett scratched his chin. "We can
probably have him ready to be sent home tomorrow afternoon. I would like your
permission to stop by every few days to check on him, though."
"Of course."
*****
Later that night, Jack and Rose ate dinner at
home with their family for the first time since Josh's accident. Everyone,
excluding Rose, was talking animatedly. Rose, however, was lost deep in
thought. As much as she wanted to have Josh home, she couldn't help but wonder
if the doctor and Jack were right. She loved him. He was her son, after all,
but was she ready to watch her firstborn slowly die? These thoughts rolled over
in her head continually until she became aware she was being spoken to.
Snapping out of her reverie, she looked up. "What?"
Jack gave her a concerned look. "You
should eat. You're going to need your strength for tomorrow."
Rose's eyes shifted down to her plate, but
she looked at the food in disdain. Shrugging, she returned her gaze to Jack.
"I'm not hungry. Excuse me," she said, pushing the plate away and
leaving the room.
Eleven-year-old Alicia glanced up at her
father, her deep green eyes troubled. "Is Mom going to be okay?"
Jack hesitated, not sure what to tell the
child. But then he nodded slightly. "She's just worried about your
brother."
Alicia seemed to accept that answer and went
back to her dinner. Janelle, however, gave them all a disgusted look.
"What's wrong with you people? Mom is in pain, and you all choose to
ignore it. I'm embarrassed to call you my family. Excuse me," she
commented, pushing away from the table and stomping up the stairs to her
parents' room. The remaining four children looked up at Jack expectantly.
He shook his head. "Finish your
dinner."
*****
Janelle stood outside her parents' room,
listening to her mother quietly weep. Swallowing her nerves, she knocked on the
door. "Mom, can I come in?" she called softly.
"Come in," Rose said, trying to
pull herself together in the presence of her children. Janelle came in and
immediately embraced her mother, not speaking. This simple act pushed Rose's
emotions askew and she began to sob once again. At that moment, it seemed the
tables had turned. That Janelle was the mother, comforting the heartbroken
child. She just sat there, hugging her mother for awhile, until Rose pulled
away and kissed her face. "Thank you, Nell. I needed that."
Janelle smiled lightly. "You're welcome.
It's okay to cry in front of me, Mom. I know this is really hurting you. It's
hurting all of us. I just wanted you to know I'm here for you."
Rose hugged her eldest daughter tightly.
"That means more to me then you know."
The twosome sat talking amongst themselves
for the better part of two hours, sometimes crying, sometimes laughing, until
finally Jack poked his head in. "Am I interrupting?" Both girls shook
their heads. Jack smiled. "Will you excuse us, then? I want to talk to
your mother alone."
Janelle nodded and hugged Rose one last time.
"Night, Mom. Love you."
"I love you too, sweetie. Good
night," Rose replied, glancing up at Jack once she'd left.
Jack gave her a tense smile before sitting
down next to her on the bed. "We've got to talk, Rose."
"Why? Didn't you say all you had to say
at the hospital?" Rose retorted.
Jack sighed. "All right. I deserved
that. I'm just worried about you."
"Josh is the one you should be worrying
about, not me. Our son is dying, Jack," Rose said, involuntarily gasping
at the end of her statement before being attacked by tears once again. Jack
immediately took her into his arms, despite their lack of communication lately.
And there she stayed until she composed herself enough to speak. "I'm
sorry...I guess trying to hold my emotions back in front of the kids is getting
to me. I just keep hoping some kind of miracle will occur and let me keep my
baby." Rose sniffled.
Jack smoothed back her hair, his blue eyes
locking with hers. "I know. I do, too. But Rosie, you have to accept that
you can't save him anymore than I or the doctors can. I want him home as much
as you do, but I don't want any of us, especially you, to get so convinced he's
going to pull through and then fall apart even more if he doesn't. I just don't
want you to get your hopes up. You understand that, don't you?"
Rose swallowed hard and nodded. "I do.
But I don't want my son to die in a hospital, surrounded by strangers. You know
he would hate that. He should be here, with us."
Jack nodded, hugging her. "I know. And
he will be, tomorrow. You're not doing this alone, you know. We're all going to
do our fair share, okay? Don't think this is all your responsibility."
"Thank you, Jack."