TEARS IN HEAVEN
Chapter Three
Rome, Italy
September 16, 2004
"Hey Doc, look, no hands!" Jack
joked as he walked wobbly across the room.
The man, Dr. Vitalo, smiled. "You're
getting better everyday, Mr. Dawson. Pretty soon we'll have the nurses in tears
when you leave us."
Jack's expression turned serious. "When
do you think I'll be able to go home?"
"Its hard to say. By February at the latest,
I'd say."
Jack sighed. "You sure I can't go home
tomorrow?"
Dr. Vitalo chuckled. "Sorry. Someone
special back home, I take it?"
Jack smiled wistfully. "My wife and
kids. I haven't seen them in almost two years."
"Why don't you write her? Surely you're
able to hold a pencil by now?"
"Yeah, I think I will. Thanks Doc."
Santa Monica, California
October 2, 2004
"Josh, get down from there!" Rose
commanded. Josh smiled sheepishly and climbed down from the box he had been
sitting on.
"Sowie, Mommy," he apologized,
wrapping his arms around her leg.
Rose felt her anger melt away at his gesture
and bent down to pick him up. "It's okay, I just don't want you to get
hurt. Stay out of the way while Uncle Tommy and Uncle Fabri finish, okay?"
Josh nodded and wiggled out of her arms,
settling himself on the floor as he watched in fascination. Tommy and Fabrizio
were in the process of putting together the new big boy bed Rose had bought
Josh. Helga came into the room with Janelle in her arms. "You guys almost
done? We have to be at the church by five."
Tommy grunted. "Don't get your pantyhose
in a twist, we'll be done by then."
Rose and Helga rolled their eyes. "You
guys finish in here, I'm gonna go make some food," Rose announced, exiting
the room.
Helga followed. "Is your mom coming to
watch the kids or aren't you coming to rehearsal?"
"She's coming, though I may be a little
late, I have to drop some baby clothes off over at Teddy's."
Helga smiled. "Are you excited about
being an aunt?"
Rose nodded earnestly. "Yes. It's kind
of depressing too, though. But I try not to think about it. I don't want to
ruin their happiness."
Helga shook her head. "You need to go
out there and find a father for those kids."
If looks could kill, Helga would've died at
that moment. "They HAVE a father. Maybe not physically, but they do. I
won't ever love anyone else, so I'll be both parents."
"Rose, hon, they're going to need a male
role model. Especially Josh and Colin."
"They have male role models. Tommy,
Fabri, Sam, Teddy, Greg...there isn't a shortage there."
Helga sighed. "It's not the same."
Rose glared at her friend. "They'll be
fine. Can we drop this now?"
"Okay, it's dropped. I'm sorry."
Rose waved her hand dismissively and began
lunch.
*****
Rose sighed, relieved her day was almost
over. The wedding rehearsal for Helga and Sam had been long and dragged out,
not to mention she hadn't wanted to be there in the first place. It all just
brought back the memories of her own wedding. "Widow at age twenty, how
ironic," she muttered, coming into the house, surprised at the silence.
"Hello?" she called. No answer. Just as she was about to panic, she
saw a note on the fridge.
Rose
Took the kids to the park. Be back in a
bit.
Mom
Shrugging, she started to wash the dishes,
flipping on the radio. When the current song ended, she turned to switch the
station, only to be greeted by the opening notes of Leeann Rimes How Do I
Live. Incoherently, she dropped the dish she was holding, breaking it and
sunk down onto a chair, bawling. It was the same song she'd cried to when Jack
had left her that July so long ago. Only this time it hit harder, because she
knew he'd never come back to her. There was no hope.
How do I
Get through one night without you
If I had to live without you
What kind of life would that be
Oh I...I need you in my arms
Need you to hold
You're my world, my heart, my soul
If you ever leave
Baby, you would take away everything good in my life.
And tell me now
How do I live without you
I want to know
How do I breath without you
If you ever go
How do I ever, ever survive
How do I
How do I
Oh, how do I live.
Without you,
There would be no sun in my sky
There would be no love in my life
There would be no world left for me
And I...
Baby, I don't know what I would do
I'd be lost if I lost you
If you ever leave
Baby, you would take away everything real in my life.
And tell me now
How do I live without you
I want to know
How do I breath without you
If you ever go
How do I ever, ever survive
How do I
How do I
Oh, how do I live
If you ever leave
Baby, you would take away everything
Need you with me
Baby, cause you know that your everything good in my life
And tell me now
How do I live without you
I want to know
How do I breath without you
If you ever go
How do I ever, ever survive
How do I
How do I
Oh, how do I live
Without you...
*****
"Rose, honey, what happened?" Ruth
asked worriedly as she brought the kids into the house. Janelle, Rose's self
proclaimed "babuh gurl" climbed into her mother's lap.
"No cry, Mama," she said, kissing
her cheek. Rose clung to the child for dear life.
"Rose? What happened?" Ruth asked
again.
Rose looked up at her own mother and put her
daughter down. "You kids go into the playroom, I want to talk to
Grandma." Josh took control of that situation, tightly grasping his
younger siblings' hands and dragging them out of the room. Once they were gone,
Ruth sat down beside her daughter, now noticing the broken dish on the floor.
Rose, who hadn't noticed until then either, sighed.
"Are you going to explain what happened
here?"
"I don't know, Mom. I was washing dishes
and this song came on the radio--you know, the one you forbade me to listen to
last time he left--and it hit me, it hit me hard. He's really never coming
back. I'm never going to see or hear or," Rose let out a sob, "or
feel him again. He's really gone. My entire world is like that plate. Broken
beyond repair."
Ruth didn't say anything, just got up and
hugged Rose. She didn't really know what to say, she'd honestly thought Rose
was getting better. Ever since their anniversary passed in August, she'd seemed
so much like her old self. But obviously, if something as small as a song could
make her break down like that, there was still something wrong.