UNTIL ANGELS CLOSE MY EYES
Chapter Ten
September 24, 2004
Jack groaned as the alarm went
off at 6:30, jarring him from sleep. It seemed like only moments had passed
since he had closed his eyes.
Momentarily, he wished that he had
his old clock radio back…he had often slept through that. But his mother had
grown tired of explaining why he hadn’t shown up at school on time and had
bought him a loud clock that beeped irritatingly.
Sighing, he sat up slowly and
reached over to the clock, turning the alarm off. He moved slowly, clutching
the nightstand to steady himself as he stood. He still felt weak and dizzy, and
a glance at his hands sent his heartbeat skyrocketing. His fingernails had a
bluish tone, indicating how much blood he had lost a few hours earlier.
Carefully, he turned and pulled
his comforter up over the blood-stained sheet—he would wash it when his parents
weren’t home. Still leaning against furniture and walls, he slowly dressed and
made his way across the hall to the bathroom, where he looked in alarm at the
bluish tint of his lips.
He wished he could stay home, but
that would tip his parents off that something was wrong. He would go to school
and try to take it easy, and be glad that there was no basketball practice this
afternoon—the coach had other matters to attend to.
Jack tried to eat breakfast, but
had very little appetite. After a few bites of cereal, he pushed the bowl away,
knowing that he needed to eat more to regain his strength, but not having any
appetite. He was thirsty enough to drink three glasses of water, then warned
himself to stop, knowing that some of his teachers wouldn’t give out restroom
passes.
He made it to school on time, but
just barely. It was a long walk from the parking lot to the principal’s office,
where he was a TA first period, and his textbooks seemed heavier than ever.
Some students looked at him askance when they saw his clothes—he still felt
cold, so he had worn jeans and a long-sleeved shirt over a t-shirt, even though
temperatures were expected to be in the nineties.
After an hour at the photocopier,
Jack was more exhausted than ever. He considered ditching second period, but
the only place he could do that and relax was the library, and he knew that
Miss Hulstrom would kick him out, since she knew he had a class. He finally
went to class, but got there two minutes after the tardy bell rang, so he soon
found himself dragging his way across campus to OCD.
At least he was allowed to rest
there. No one cared what he did as long as he didn’t cause trouble, but he was
grateful that his next class was nearby when the teacher in charge of detention
woke him three minutes before his next class.
*****
He and Rose were still working on
their assignment together in English. Rose smiled when she saw him, friendlier
than she had been in several days, but her smile faded when she saw how pale he
looked and the way he slouched exhaustedly in his seat.
“Jack…are you okay?” she asked,
concerned in spite of his dislike of such questions.
Jack was too tired to object.
“I’m…I’m fine,” he assured her. “Just a little tired, is all.”
Rose looked at him skeptically,
taking in the bluish pallor of his lips and his too-heavy clothing. “Are you
sure? You look awfully pale.”
He shrugged, clearly not wanting
to discuss it. He reached up to rub his aching nose, then stopped, afraid that
it might start bleeding again.
Rose watched him worriedly for a
moment, then opened a textbook and turned to their assignment.
“Jack?”
She turned to look at him when he
didn’t respond. His eyes were half-closed as he struggled to stay awake.
“Jack!”
“Huh?” He shook his head, trying
to wake himself up. “What?”
“Did you finish your part of the
assignment last night? It’s due at the end of class.”
“Oh…uh…no. I…um…I forgot.” He’d
fallen asleep before he could get any homework done.
“Jack! That’s our grade!”
“Sorry.” In fact, he hadn’t
brought the portion he had completed earlier in the week—it was still sitting
on his desk at home.
“Jack, are you sure you’re okay?
You’re usually more responsible than that.”
Jack could think of several
teachers who would disagree at this point, but didn’t want to argue. “I said I
was sorry.”
Rose scowled at him. “Dammit,
Jack…I just hope Mr. Carter gives me full credit for doing my half of the
work!”
“Look, I’ll try to get a little
bit done right now. It’s better than what some kids will do.”
“Mr. Carter doesn’t grade on a
curve. It doesn’t matter what the other kids do.”
“Rose…I said I was sorry, okay?”
She was beginning to make him feel cranky.
“Don’t snap at me, Jack. I’m not
the one who decided to abandon our project.”
“Dammit, Rose…”
“Do I have to separate you two?”
Mr. Carter came towards where they were sitting, looking annoyed.
A few of the other kids giggled.
Jack glared at them, while Rose shook her head.
“No. We’re fine. We were just
discussing the project.”
Mr. Carter looked like he didn’t
believe her, but finally nodded. “Okay. But you’d better watch your
language…both of you.” He walked away, going to check on another pair of
students.
Rose sighed. “Don’t worry about
it, Jack. I think I’ve done enough that we’ll at least get a C. I’ll even put
your name on the papers, too, if you want.”
Jack shook his head. “No…it’s
okay. I should have done my homework.”
“Yes, but…are you sure you’re
feeling okay? I heard you got knocked out at basketball practice yesterday.”
“I didn’t get knocked out. I just
got hit in the face with the ball. Rumors make things out to be worse than they
are.”
“Is that how you got that bruise
on your face?”
He nodded. “Yeah.”
“Jack, come on. You helped with
this part…let me put your name on it.”
“Rose…”
“You can’t stop me.” Rose looked
at him stubbornly.
Jack sighed, too tired to argue
with her. “Okay. Go ahead. Do whatever you want. I don’t care.”
“You could at least be nice about
my saving your grade for you.”
“Fine. Thanks. Are we done?”
“It sure seems that way,” Rose
mumbled, scribbling Jack’s name on the papers.
Jack put his head down. He didn’t
want to argue with her. Rose would do as she pleased, and he was too exhausted
to try to stop her.
He didn’t notice that Rose was
looking at him with concern. His eyes drooped shut, and he was just dozing off
when the bell rang.
Rose shook him. “Jack, come on.
You need to get to class.”
Slowly, Jack pulled himself to
his feet. His next class was on the other side of campus, and he had no desire
to wind up in OCD again. Once was bad enough, but twice in one day would get
him into trouble. He already knew he’d get a lecture from his parents winding
up there once today—twice would get him grounded…not that he really had any
desire to go anywhere or do anything at the moment.
Jack followed Rose out of the
classroom, lugging his heavy books with him. It seemed like an insurmountable
task to get to the other side of campus, but he had to do it. Gritting his
teeth, he walked in the direction of his next class, surprised when Rose fell
into step beside him.
“Need help?” she asked, watching
him struggle with the heavy books. He looked even paler than before now that he
was out in the bright sunlight.
He was tempted to let her help
him, but knew that she needed to get to her own class. He didn’t want her to be
late because of him.
“It’s okay. I’ve got it.”
Rose gave him an annoyed look. He
was struggling, and she knew it. Before she could yell at him for rejecting her
offer of help, though, he clutched the books tighter, then looked at her.
“Rose…I’m sorry I’ve been so
short with you lately. I really am tired, and…you’re right. I’m not really
feeling well.”
Rose looked at him, concern in
her eyes. “Jack…let’s talk about this later. I have to work this afternoon,
but…maybe we can talk about things this evening? I can come over and we can
talk…”
“Sure. We can do that.”
“I think I was a little hard on
you…I’ve been thinking about what you said…”
She trailed off as Jack stumbled
away from her, heading for the drinking fountain outside the new building.
Ordinarily, he would have avoided it like the plague—it was filthy, and rarely
got cleaned—but now he was too thirsty to care.
Rose stared at him as he gulped
down the water, hardly stopping to breathe. Finally, he straightened,
staggering dizzily, and leaned against the wall, breathing hard.
“Jack?” Rose hurried up to him.
“Are you okay?”
Jack took a deep breath, trying
to slow his racing pulse. “Yeah…I was just thirsty for a minute there.”
“Maybe you should go to the
nurse’s office…you look like you’re going to collapse.”
Jack pushed himself away from the
wall, stepping carefully. When he was sure he wasn’t going to fall, he looked
at her.
“No…it’s okay. I’ll be fine.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yeah.” He winced as the warning
bell rang. “I’d better hurry to class. You, too.”
Rose gave him a worried look, but
nodded. “Okay. I’ll see you at lunch.”
Jack nodded, then hurried away as
fast as he could, glad that his class was just around the corner. Rose, knowing
that she couldn’t wait any longer, dashed up the stairs to her own class.
*****
Rose sat with Meg and Joanna in
the senior quad, waiting for Jack. He hadn’t been sitting with them during the
past week, something that Joanna had been plotting to remedy. No matter how
angry Rose was with Jack, Joanna was sure they belonged together and had been
trying to convince Rose to make up with him.
Rose hadn’t told them what Jack
had told her. She knew that he didn’t want people to know about his past bouts
with cancer, and Rose was beginning to understand why. People did pick on those
who were different—and cancer definitely set a teenager apart from everyone
else. She’d just told them that she and Jack had had an argument, and that was
why they weren’t spending any time together. She tried not to encourage
Joanna’s matchmaking—or remaking, in this case—but she hoped that things
weren’t over between them. She was upset that he hadn’t been honest with her,
but she was beginning to understand better.
Jack finally walked into the
senior quad, looking like every step was an effort. He walked in Rose’s
direction, then looked at her uncertainly, not sure if she wanted him to sit
with her and her friends. He’d been spending lunch shooting hoops with some
other kids from the school’s basketball teams during the past few days, but he
wasn’t sure he had the energy for that now.
Rose smiled and scooted over,
making a place for him. He sat down beside her, grateful to be off his feet. He
took out his lunch and looked at it, then put it away again, not interested in
anything but his soda.
“Aren’t you hungry?” Rose
whispered to him.
He just shook his head, opening
the can and taking several gulps before looking back at her.
“I’m just not very hungry right
now. I’ll eat later.”
Before Rose could reply, one of
Jack’s teammates ran up to him, bouncing a basketball on the low brick wall.
“Hey, Jack, come shoot some hoops
with us.”
Jack looked up at him. “Maybe
later, Marv.”
“Aw…c’mon. You can eat later.”
Jack took another gulp of his
soda. “I’m hungry now.”
“You’re just scared of getting
your nose broke again.”
“I didn’t break my nose, and I’m not
scared.” Jack looked at him in irritation. “I just want to sit and eat lunch
with my girlfriend, is all.”
“Yeah, you’re scared.”
“I am not!”
“Yeah? Prove it!”
“Fine! I will!”
“Jack…” Rose tried to get him to
sit back down, to no avail. He wasn’t going to let anybody call him scared.
She watched as he headed for the
basketball court, almost tripping on the steps from the quad.
Meg leaned over and whispered to
her. “Is he drunk or something? He looks like he’s having trouble standing up!”
Rose didn’t answer her. She set
her lunch aside, watching with worry as Marv tossed the ball to Jack.
He threw the ball at the hoop,
but missed. Another kid grabbed the ball, dribbling it and tossing it to a tall
girl, who took it and threw it through the hoop.
Rose tried to catch Jack’s eye,
wanting him to come back and sit down. He was wavering on his feet, stumbling
as he turned to follow the other players.
Jack felt like the world was
spinning around him. He felt himself starting to fall, but Marv came up behind
him and shoved him upright again.
“Man, what’s wrong wit’ you?” He
tossed Jack the ball again.
Jack caught it and turned,
looking for the hoop. He felt his nose running and swiped at it, looking in
alarm at the blood on his hand. The world was still spinning, faster now, it
seemed, so he dropped the ball, trying to keep his balance.
Somebody shouted behind him,
pushing at his shoulders, but he couldn’t make out what they’d said. The
spinning had stopped, but now the world seemed to be fading away.
The last thing he heard was
Rose’s voice calling his name before he slumped to the ground, unconscious, a
thin trickle of blood running from his nose and dripping onto the hot pavement
below.
*****
“Jack!”
Rose jumped up, her lunch
forgotten, as she saw Jack stumble dizzily, the ball falling from his hands,
before falling to the ground. She rushed forward, hoping that he’d get up, but
he didn’t stir.
The other kids who had been
playing basketball were milling around uneasily, not sure what to do. A few
other kids, attracted by the commotion, crowded around, all wanting to know
what had happened.
Rose crouched down beside him,
scarcely aware that Meg and Joanna were at her side. She shook Jack, trying to
awaken him.
“Jack! Jack, come on. Wake up!”
More kids were crowding around,
rumors of what had happened already flying. There’d been a fight. There’d been
a shooting—never mind that no one had heard any gunshots. Someone had died.
Someone was drunk. Someone was sick…
Rose ignored the kids crowding
around them. She lifted Jack’s head, gasping when she saw the blood trickling
from his nose, and dug a tissue out of her purse, trying without success to
wipe it away.
Marv was staring at Jack, looking
shocked. He’d never imagined that his taunts would lead to Jack lying
unconscious on the pavement. He’d only wanted him to join in the game.
After a moment, he looked up,
seeing Joanna and Meg staring at him accusingly. Shaking his head, he quickly
moved around them.
“I’ll go get somebody,” he
promised, running off in the direction of the lunch area.
Rose gently lowered Jack’s head
back to the pavement, then grasped his hands in hers. He looked paler than
ever, the blood running from his nose bright red against his paper-white face. He
was breathing shallowly through his mouth, and his heart was beating so fast
she couldn’t count it.
“Jack, please, wake up. It’ll be
okay. Just wake up. Please.”
Rose didn’t realize she was
crying until Joanna handed her another tissue. Meg had gone back to the quad
and was gathering up all their belongings so they wouldn’t disappear.
Rose ducked her head, stifling a
sob as she sat down beside Jack, not caring about the hot, dirty pavement under
her short skirt.
“Jack…come on. Wake up.”
“Okay, everybody…get back…there’s
nothing to see here.” A security guard arrived, the principal, Mr. Bennett,
following quickly.
“Rose, c’mon. They want us to
back off.” Joanna tugged at Rose’s arm, but her friend refused to move.
“I can’t leave him, Joanna.”
“Young lady, please get up.”
Rose looked up at the security
guard. “I don’t know what happened…he was playing basketball and then he passed
out. He’s looked sick all day, or at least since third period…”
Mr. Bennett nodded. “We’ve
already called for an ambulance.” He looked Rose in the eye. “I know you want
to stay with him, but it’s better if you get back. We’ll take care of him.”
“Where’s the nurse?” Rose looked
at Jack again. He showed no sign of waking up.
“She’s at Pinacate today. There’s
just one nurse for the whole district.”
Meg and Joanna helped Rose up.
“Come on, Rose. Maybe they can help him.”
Rose wiped her eyes with the
tissue Joanna had given her. “Oh, my God…”
“He’ll be okay, Rose.”
Rose sat down heavily on the low
wall, watching as Mr. Bennett and the security guard leaned over Jack, taking
his pulse and checking his breathing. What if there was something seriously
wrong with him? What if the leukemia was back? He’d said he was in remission,
but she’d checked out a book about leukemia after he’d told her he’d had it,
and the symptoms it described sounded just like what had been happening to him
lately…all the bruises, the lack of appetite, the constant tiredness…she knew
that he’d had it twice already. If he had it again, would he even be able to
get better?
The ambulance arrived a few
minutes later. Rose, Joanna, and Meg watched as the paramedics placed Jack on a
gurney and put an oxygen mask on his face. Rose started crying again when they
wheeled him into the ambulance and left, sirens blaring.
As soon as the ambulance was
gone, she rushed up to Mr. Bennett. “Is he going to be okay?”
“They’ll do everything they can
for him,” he assured her, but he looked worried, too.