UNTIL ANGELS CLOSE MY EYES
Chapter Thirteen
Rose groaned inwardly as she
slapped the off button on her alarm. She blinked wearily, the horrible dreams
of the night before merely a fuzzy memory. She lay still in bed for a few minutes,
forcing her mind into action. It was inhumane, she always thought, to have to
get up at eight o’clock on a Saturday morning.
"At least I’m getting paid
for it," she muttered as she finally struggled to sit up, rubbing her
eyes. She could hear her mother bustling about the house, getting ready for the
day. Weekday or weekend, Ruth was always up before nine, just because she was
used to it.
"Rose?" There was a
knock on the door, and Rose blinked stupidly.
"I’m up," she called,
and slid off of her bed, walking slowly across the floor. She pulled the door
open, and sure enough, found herself face-to-face with her mother.
"Oh, good. You can’t afford
to miss work again after yesterday."
Rose rolled her eyes. "Mom,
I missed one day, and I had a perfectly valid reason."
"Oh?" Ruth put her
hands on her hips. "I don’t remember hearing any valid reasons, Rose. You
didn’t say one word to me when you got home from school."
Rose sighed. "I really don’t
feel like talking about this right now, Mom. I really don’t."
Ruth held up her hand. "I’m
just telling you, Rose, that you don’t want to start making a habit of this.
You’ve been so responsible with school and your job. I don’t want it to go down
the drain because of some…" Ruth shook her head, silencing her thoughts,
and Rose raised an eyebrow.
"Some what? Some trashy
boy?" Rose spat, knowing very well that Ruth was referring to Jack.
"You know what, Mother? That trashy boy is in the hospital right now. He
passed out at school yesterday, and was running a fever of one hundred and
four. That’s why I didn’t go to work, Mom, because unlike some, I actually care
about people other than myself!" Rose stormed past her mother and into the
bathroom. Before Ruth could respond, the bathroom door slammed shut, and the
sound of the shower running thundered in her ears barely a moment later.
Ruth stood very still in the
dimly lit hallway, resting the palm of her hand against the wall.
Rose, meanwhile, stripped out of
her pajamas and stepped into the shower. She was still fuming over her outburst
with her mother, but sometimes, the woman could be purely impossible. She
allowed the warm water to wash over her naked body, turning around so it could
dampen her somewhat sleep-tousled hair. Honestly, sometimes it was better to be
at school or at work than at home. Well, she didn’t mind so much when her
father was alive. He was the barrier that kept peace between Rose and her
mother, and now that he was dead, the barrier was broken.
Rose scrubbed rather hard at her
skin with her shower puff, gritting her teeth as she did so. She needed Jack;
she missed him so badly, and was scared to death for him. How she was going to
get through her eight-hour shift was beyond her imagination, but she knew Jack
would not approve of her spending all afternoon in some stuffy hospital.
"But I want to," she said to no one in particular. "I want to be
with you, Jack, and I don’t care where we are."
About twenty minutes later, Rose
hopped out of the shower, wrapped a towel around her head and one around her
body, and made her way back to her bedroom. Her mother’s bedroom door was
closed, and Rose sighed wearily as she looked at it. "Dammit," she
growled, walking into her own room and shutting her door behind her.
By 9:30, Rose grabbed her purse
and rushed down the steps. She caught sight of her mother in the kitchen, and
Ruth peered at her daughter over a mug of coffee. "Aren’t you eating
anything for breakfast, Rose?" Ruth’s voice was very quiet.
"I’ll just get something
from the vending machine at work," Rose insisted. "If…anyone calls,
let me know, okay?"
Ruth nodded, tapping her index
finger against the coffee mug.
"I will. Have a good
day," she added, and with a polite nod, Rose headed outside and to her
car.
*****
At the hospital, Jack sat on top
of his blankets, having dressed in the fresh change of clothes his mother had
brought him the day before. He still felt drained, and hadn’t been able to eat
much for breakfast. Nothing good was on television, either, so Jack used the
time between the meal and ten o’clock to doze off.
Dr. Stellar came at ten as
promised, and smiled when he saw Jack looking awake and more alert than he had
since he was brought in. "Good, good. I was hoping to see you dressed and
ready to go. How are you feeling?"
Jack shrugged. "Just really
tired and dizzy still," he admitted, and the doctor pointed to the
wheelchair.
"I’m going to bring you down
to the CAT scan lab in this. You’re not in any condition to walk just
yet."
Jack nodded in understanding; the
thought alone of moving from his bed to the wheelchair was enough to exhaust
him. "So, I take it you’re familiar with these procedures, Jack?" Dr.
Stellar asked once he was sitting in the wheelchair and entering the hallway.
Unfortunately, more familiar
with them than I like to admit, Jack thought to himself, and nodded softly.
"So, you know that they’ll
be pretty quick and painless, then." He patted Jack’s shoulder and pushed
the button on the floor’s elevator. Jack shivered; he felt a little chilly,
even with the sweatshirt he’d put on over his t-shirt.
When they entered the lab, he
recognized the young tech, who was maybe a year or so older than he was.
"Just finishing up," he announced, and Dr. Stellar saluted him.
"Great, Dan. All the
coordinates are set?"
Dan nodded, and Dr. Stellar peered
closely at them. "Good, good. So, we’ll start getting this show on the
road. All right, Jack, I’m going to need for you to take off your shirt so we
can mark you up on the spaces that we want to check."
Jack felt his teeth chattering as
he removed his sweatshirt, and Dr. Stellar frowned. "Looks like you’re
running a bit of a fever again," he said, and quickly felt Jack’s
forehead. "A little warm."
"Weren’t you in to check on
me around three or something this morning?" Jack asked, and Dan shrugged.
"Probably. Sorry,
routine." He helped Dr. Stellar ease Jack onto the conveyer belt that went
through the enormous tube-like structure. Jack felt his heart hammering and
immediately closed his eyes.
"Just take a deep breath and
relax as much as you can, Jack," Dr. Stellar said, and Jack rolled his
eyes.
Easy for you to say, he thought, and swallowed hard. He could
feel the belt start to move, and every now and again, he heard a soft beep. The
first time he’d gone through one of these at age eleven, he’d experienced a
little panic attack from the tight space. Now he just let his mind focus on
anything but the situation, and it immediately focused on Rose. She was smiling
at him and waving, her long red hair blowing in the breeze. He smiled back,
wanting more than anything to hold her in his arms.
Not too much longer, he promised her.
*****
Sam’s Club was a madhouse, as
usual, when Rose arrived. She could tell they were short-staffed already, given
the fact that there were fourteen cash registers and only four were operating.
Groaning inwardly, Rose dashed towards the employees’ only door and popped it
open. She could hear the voices of her co-workers who were either coming in or
on their lunches if they were working a seven to three shift.
"Hey," Rose told them
breathlessly as she went over to her locker. They waved, and as soon as she got
on her red vest, Rose hurried back downstairs. Marietta spotted her first and
immediately pointed to an available register while chatting in Spanish on the
phone at the same time.
Rose waved to the COS’s on duty
and took her place behind the counter. She wasn’t sure how she would be able to
survive an eight-hour day, not with the immense worry about Jack burning in the
pit of her stomach. Still, she tried her best to put on a pleasant face as
customers began coming to her line.
The bleep of the sliding scanner
reminded Rose all too much of the heart monitor hooked to Jack in the emergency
room cubicle. She closed her eyes, blowing out her breath as she finished with
her first customers.
She barely noticed when her
co-workers shouted cheerful hellos as they caught sight of her, and COS Lana
had to shout twice that it was time to take a break once two hours had gone by.
"Are you okay?" Lana
asked when Rose passed her.
"Yeah," Rose promised.
"Just a lot on my mind. That’s all."
She met up with her manager about
halfway to the break room door, and Marietta pulled her aside. "Any news
about the boyfriend?" she asked, and Rose shook her head miserably.
"Honey, I’m sure he’s gonna be fine, okay?"
Rose smiled back, wishing she
could feel as confident as Marietta sounded.
"Thanks," she replied
softly, and Marietta nodded.
"Go and relax for a bit.
You’re really working your tail off out there."
Rose chuckled. "And you
wouldn’t expect less of me, would you?" she teased, and Marietta stuck out
her tongue.
"See you in fifteen,"
she laughed, and Rose disappeared up the break room steps.
*****
Jack, following the CAT scan and
the series of endless x-rays, was looking forward to relaxing for the rest of
the morning and early afternoon in his room. However, that, as he was about to
discover, was not the case.
"We’re going to do a bone
marrow aspiration," Dr. Stellar announced when Jack had put his clothes
back on.
"What?" Jack cried.
"You didn’t tell me that earlier!"
Dr. Stellar smacked his forehead
lightly. "Must have slipped my mind, then…I apologize, Jack, but this is
one of the routine tests for…well, for what we hope won’t be the results."
Jack began cursing under his
breath in English, Spanish, German, Italian…Dan happened to be close enough to
hear, and he smirked. "Nice," he laughed, though not loud enough for
Dr. Stellar to hear.
Jack glared at him. "When
are we doing the bone marrow aspiration, by the way?" he asked, checking
his watch. It was already 12:30; if they were to do it, it would have to be
within the next two and a half hours.
"We figured we’d give you
about an hour’s break from these other tests, and then we’d deal with
that," Dr. Stellar replied. "I’m really sorry, Jack. I should have
told you about this."
Jack fought hard not to roll his
eyes as he was wheeled out of the x-ray laboratory.
He hated the bone marrow
aspiration. Jack hated needles to begin with, and the one they used for this
procedure was abominably large. At least they numb the spot it goes through,
Jack thought, though even that wasn’t very comforting.
"I’ll be back for you around
1:30. All right, Jack?" Dr. Stellar asked, and Jack nodded.
"Okay," he replied, and
the doctor smiled.
"Just take it easy, all right?"
Jack sat on his hospital bed, not
in the mood to watch television at the moment. He wanted desperately to be at
home in his own room, and, of course, in his girlfriend’s arms. He missed Rose
so much that it was like a constant ache in his chest. As he surveyed the
multiple bruises on his arms, he blew out his breath, shivering again. He
wasn’t looking forward to seeing his father’s expression when James Dawson came
to pick him up, but he had no choice.
So, for the next hour, Jack dozed
off and on, mostly laying and staring ahead at the white walls. When Dr.
Stellar came for him, he had to be shaken to get out of his little zone.
"Ready, kiddo?" Dr.
Stellar asked, and Jack looked at him wearily.
"Yeah," he muttered.
"Ready as anything."
*****
Rose’s work shift seemed to drag
on forever. Her mouth felt extremely dry, like sandpaper, after asking people
so frequently for their member cards. Thankfully, she had no nasty customers
that afternoon—she was certain the slightest annoyance would make her snap. "Rose?"
COS Megan came up to her around three, and Rose looked up.
"Yeah?"
"Would you mind covering
Dave’s break at the exit door?"
Rose shook her head.
"Nope."
"Good, thanks. Only his
lunch, I promise."
Rose snorted quietly; the COS’s
tended to bribe the cashiers into covering the entrance and exit doors, and
sometimes when they said they only needed a fifteen or lunch cover, the cashier
chosen would be stuck for the rest of the shift. Rose had been in that position
more times than she would like to account for, but she didn’t find it necessary
to argue.
Therefore, at the exit door, she
stood for a full half hour, marking customer’s receipts as well as motioning
and hollering at people who attempted to use the exit door as an entrance. Rose
was more than grateful to get back to her register, and was even happier when
it neared time for her to clock out.
"Goin’ to the hospital after
work, Rose?" Marietta asked once the COS had unlocked her register drawer
at 5:45.
"Hopefully he’ll be out of
there by now," she replied.
"I hope so, too."
Marietta patted her shoulder. "You’re a good worker, Rose. I don’t tell
you often enough."
Rose smirked; it was extremely
rare that her boss complimented anyone.
"Thanks," she replied,
and Marietta smiled again.
"Welcome. Good night,"
she added, before disappearing amongst the crowds.
Rose sat in the cash office’s
common area for about five minutes, counting down her drawer. After handing her
money bag over to the girl in charge, she said good-bye and stopped once more
at her locker before leaving.
The ride home from work seemed to
take longer than usual, and she nearly crashed the car straight into the side
of the garage when she saw who was waiting for her on the lawn. She quickly
turned the car’s engine off and threw open the door. "Jack!" she
exclaimed, hesitating. She didn’t want to accidentally hurt him by leaping on
him.
"Rose," he breathed,
and immediately pulled her into his arms.
"When did you get
back?" she asked, stroking his cheek and kissing him.
"Earlier this afternoon. I
called your house to see if you were home, but your mom said you were at work.
I didn’t want to bother you there, so I figured I’d surprise you when you got
back."
Rose couldn’t stop smiling, and
gave him another hug. "Oh, Jack." She gasped. "I’ve missed you
so much. I’m so sorry."
Jack kissed her again. "Come
on," he encouraged. "Let’s talk at my house."
Rose squeezed his hand. "I
should let my mom know first," she said.
"You can stay for dinner
with us, too, if you want," Jack added, and Rose nodded.
"Okay," she agreed.
"I’ll see you in a few minutes."
She watched as he waved softly
and waited until he’d gone through his front door before entering her own
house. "Mom?" she called, listening to the Frank Sinatra CD that was playing
in the background. "Mom?"
"In the living room,"
Ruth called back, and Rose went to meet her mother, who was lounging on the
couch and reading a book. "How was work?" she asked, and Rose
shrugged.
"Same as always. Listen, I’m
going to go over to Jack’s for dinner tonight."
"Rose…"
"I promise, I won’t be
late," Rose insisted, and before her mother could protest, she dashed out
again.
Jack answered the door when Rose
knocked a moment later and let her into the house. She saw James sitting at the
kitchen table with Lorraine, and the two of them were talking quietly.
"Hi," Rose announced,
and Lorraine looked up with a smile.
"Hi, sweetie. Are you
staying for dinner?"
Rose nodded. "Yeah. Thanks,
Lorraine."
Jack took Rose’s arm gently.
"Mom, Rose and I are gonna go down to my room and talk," he added,
and Lorraine nodded in understanding.
"We’ll be out here if you
need us, honey."
Jack led Rose down the narrow
hallway and they entered his bedroom. Rose sat down on his bed, watching as he
went to stand by the window. "Are you okay, Jack?" she asked, as he
turned around again.
"Rose, you were right. I was
wrong for not having been completely honest with you before. But I was
scared."
Rose lowered her head and sighed.
"Oh, God, Jack," she breathed. "I’m sorry, too. I didn’t mean to
get all snappish with you when you told me you had leukemia. I—as you said, it
wasn’t because the cancer itself scared me. It was because I was angry that you
hadn’t been completely honest."
Jack sat down next to her on the
bed and pulled her to him. "Can you forgive me, Rose? For being such a
selfish jerk?"
Rose kissed him. "You’re not
a jerk, Jack. And of course I forgive you. I’ve missed you so much this past
week, and I was terrified when you passed out yesterday." She leaned her
head on his shoulder. "Did the doctor tell you what was wrong yet?"
Jack swallowed. "No,"
he replied. "He hasn’t told me anything. They had to do a CAT Scan, a
bunch of x-rays, and a bone marrow aspiration today. He said the blood work
that they did overnight won’t be back until at least Wednesday."
Rose groaned.
"Wednesday." She took his hand and began massaging his fingers.
"Seems like a lifetime." She looked into his eyes. "So, what do
you think the results are going to be, Jack?" she asked, and he lowered
his head again.
"I’m so scared, Rose,"
he whispered, and as soon as a single tear fell down his cheek, she pulled him
into her arms again.
"It’s okay," she
promised, rubbing his back as he cried softly. "I’m here, baby. I’m here
for you."
Jack remained in Rose’s arms, her
sweet scent calming him. "I love you," he whispered into her ear, and
she felt a lump form in her own throat.
"I love you," she
replied, and she meant it with all of her heart.