UNTIL ANGELS CLOSE MY EYES
Chapter Fourteen

Rose spent all evening with Jack on Saturday, as well as all evening on Sunday after she got off work. He was still fairly drained from all the commotion on Sunday night, and his parents gave him permission to stay home from school Monday. "And possibly Tuesday," Lorraine added after noticing he had a low-grade fever for most of the afternoon.

"I can bring you any of the notes and assignments you missed," Rose offered as she sat on his spinning desk chair, occasionally twirling from side to side. Jack sat on his bed, his back resting against the headboard.

"Sounds good," he told her. "Hopefully, I’ll have enough energy to do some of it."

Rose smiled softly. "Well, at least you can try. You were doing so well, Jack. I don’t want to see you starting to fail courses. You can also have the doctor write you a note, too, for when you come back on Wednesday."

Jack groaned, closing his eyes. He had been trying not to think about Wednesday; that was when the doctor predicted the results of all of the testing would come through. Rose noticed his expression and frowned.

"I’m sorry, Jack," she apologized, and he shook his head.

"Not your fault," he insisted. "I’m just trying really hard not to panic about Wednesday. But I can’t help but feel worried—Mom and Dad keep whispering to each other when they think I can’t hear them, and I think they might know something I don’t."

Rose wanted to add, They think they might know something that you do know about, but you’re just too scared to let yourself believe it, but didn’t. She merely got off of the desk chair and crawled up onto the bed. He smiled as she snuggled against him, resting the side of her head against his shoulder.

"I’m sorry you have to deal with all of this, Rose," Jack apologized.

"Deal with what? Your being in the hospital and worrying about…" She stopped herself. "No, I’m not annoyed at all, Jack. I want to make sure you’re okay."

"If you want to back off with the relationship until I’m sure I’m fine, we can do that," Jack suggested. "What would be the use of dating someone who might die a year or two later?"

Rose gulped. "Don’t you dare say that!" she snapped, whacking him on the shoulder. "Jack, how can you even think it?"

Jack shrugged. "I was thinking about a lot of things in the hospital, Rose. You were on my mind the most. I just…I don’t want you to get hurt again."

Rose groaned, flopping down on her stomach. "Jack…" She sighed. "I want to be able to love you. I’m sure you’re going to be fine. And—technology has definitely advanced since you had cancer before, and if by chance…" She cleared her throat. "By chance," she added, "you have it again, I’m sure they’ll be able to cure you."

Jack gulped. "Can we not talk about this?" he asked in a weak voice.

Rose looked at him. "I just want you to know that I will love you whether or not you’re sick, okay? And you’re not going to change my mind about it, either."

Jack nodded. "That means so much to me, Rose." He kissed her passionately on the lips. "So, what do you think of Perris High School, anyway? Since you’ve already been here for a few weeks."

Rose smiled. "It’s a lot better than Paloma. I mean, there’s really not a huge difference between the schools, except, I guess…one is a bit snottier, as it’s in a richer area. But we still have book shortages there." She laughed, and Jack did as well. "I also like how much more diverse the school is." She smiled. "So, yeah." She nodded. "I like it."

Jack gently tickled her sides. "I’m glad you changed schools, Rose. Otherwise, I wouldn’t have met you."

She winked. "And you would have been so deprived." She giggled.

"So, are you sleeping over again tonight?" Jack asked, glancing towards the window—it was starting to get dark.

"Well," Rose began, "I probably shouldn’t. I have to get up early for school, and I still feel a bit weird showering at someone else’s house."

"My mom doesn’t mind," Jack told her, and Rose smirked.

"Funny, Jack." She laughed. "You just want the opportunity to catch me half-naked."

Jack stuck his tongue out at her. "Not all guys are interested in seeing girls naked," he defended himself, and Rose rolled her eyes.

"Oh, please," she scoffed, and Jack shook his head.

"Some actually care about them."

Rose let out a low whistle. "That was deep." She laughed, checking her watch. "Well, Jack, I should get back home and finish up my homework for tomorrow. Are you okay with my bringing over your stuff?"

Jack nodded. "Yeah."

"Okay. Well, I’ll stop by after work. I’m scheduled from 3:30-8:30."

"Okay. Want me to walk you down the hall?"

Rose kissed him. "No, I’ll be okay. Just take it easy, all right?" She gave him another hug before fetching her purse. "See you later," she said, and made her way into the hall. She could hear quiet voices from his parent’s room and was half-tempted to press her ear against the door and eavesdrop.

"I don’t know what to think," she suddenly heard Lorraine say. "This isn’t fair, James."

Rose swallowed, tiptoeing to the front door.

When she got home at nine o’clock, she found her mother sitting in the living room, watching a re-run of Friends.

"Rose?" Ruth called as Rose made her way into the kitchen, pulling a pitcher of iced tea from the fridge. Rose peeked through the living room doorway.

"Yeah?"

"Joanna called earlier," she said.

"Oh…" Rose smacked herself in the forehead. She’d been spending so much time at work and with Jack over the weekend that she’d completely forgotten to contact either of her girlfriends. "Thanks, Mom," she added, and, after pouring herself a glass of iced tea, took her things to her room.

As soon as she turned on her cell phone, she saw that she had three new voice mails, and had to smirk. Joanna’s name showed up under missed calls, and Rose, after sitting down on her bed, dialed her friend’s number.

"Where the hell have you been?" Joanna’s voice cried, once Rose finally got hold of her.

"I’m sorry," Rose apologized. "I’ve been…"

"Yeah, we know. With Jack." Joanna made fake kissing noises. "But don’t start becoming one of those girls who dumps their friends for a guy. Meg and I won’t stand for it, you know. We’ll retaliate."

Rose snorted. "I believe you." She laughed.

"So, how is he?" Joanna asked as Rose pulled her calculus book and notebook from her backpack and opened the text to the assigned page.

"He’s really tired," Rose replied, "and probably won’t be in school for a few days."

"Wow. Do they know what’s wrong with him yet?"

Rose shook her head. "No, they don’t. The doctor said he should know by Wednesday at the latest."

"You sound worried," Joanna pointed out.

Rose wet her lips; she wasn’t sure if she wanted to tell her friends about Jack’s leukemia just yet. But she felt they needed to know that it was a possibility.

"Jo, did you know that Jack had cancer twice when he was younger?" She finally spoke again, and there was silence on the other end of the line. "He had leukemia for the first time at eleven, and again at fifteen."

"Holy shit," Joanna breathed. "So, you think he might have it again?"

Rose shook her head. "I don’t know. Jack’s pretty scared. He says he’s been in remission for three years already, but as you know, that doesn’t really mean anything."

Joanna sighed. "I’m so sorry, Rose," she replied slowly.

"Don’t tell Jack I told you about this," Rose added. "I’m not sure he wants it to be made public right now. I know he had a hard time dealing with it when he was a kid; he was afraid to tell me because he thought I’d think he was a freak or something."

Joanna gulped. "I won’t say anything, Rose. But shouldn’t we tell Meg?"

"Let me tell her," Rose replied.

"Okay." She sighed. "Hey, do you want to go to the mall sometime this week? The homecoming dance is at the end of October, and I want to see if I can start looking for an outfit."

The homecoming dance. Rose could have kicked herself for forgetting. She remembered seeing posters all over the school for it, but she’d been too preoccupied with Jack’s illness to think about it. "Oh, yeah…I forgot about that." She bit her lip. "Well, tomorrow I’m working ‘til 8:30 and then I’m dropping off some of Jack’s schoolwork to him. But I can probably do it on Tuesday night. I’ll need distraction."

Joanna smiled. "Cool. So, are you going to go with Jack to the dance?" she asked.

"Well…" Rose shrugged. "It all depends on how he’s feeling and what the results of his tests are."

Joanna nodded in understanding. "Well, I’ll definitely be praying for him, then."

"Thanks, Jo." Rose sighed. "Well, I have to hang up…I have a few problems left for calculus that I have to finish. I’ll see you guys tomorrow."

"Yup. See ya, Rose." Joanna hung up and Rose put her cell phone in its charger. She wet her lips again, her mind going to the homecoming dance. This would be the first year she would not be participating in the game as a cheerleader; it would be odd to be part of the crowd now.

Rose sighed, trying to concentrate on her homework. The homecoming dance and game were still a month away, but it seemed to be traditional to start searching for the right dress fairly early, even if you didn’t have a date yet.

Rose finished the last of her homework around ten o’clock and finally decided to go to bed.

*****

The next two days seemed to drag on forever. It was very weird not seeing Jack in the halls or on the court by the senior quad during the lunch break. His friends kept coming over to her, asking how he was feeling, and she told them as much as she could without giving the idea of his cancer away. She told Meg about Jack’s having leukemia, and her other girlfriend instantly looked guilty.

"What’s wrong?" Rose asked.

"I understand why he cared so much about wanting to live life to the fullest," she said softly. "I always thought he was weird when he started getting all serious about that kind of stuff. And to think—I was dating a guy who almost died twice! I feel like such an insensitive bitch!" Her eyes widened as she remembered Joanna calling Marietta that over the phone, and Joanna winked at her with amusement.

Rose gave her friend a hug. "Don’t feel bad, Meg."

"So," Joanna spoke up, "now that it’s Tuesday, what do you think we should plan on wearing to the dance?"

Meg snorted. "Jo, the homecoming game is a month away."

"It’s never too early to start," Joanna replied. "Besides, it takes almost a month to find a date around here." She rolled her eyes, and Rose had to laugh.

"You two shouldn’t have any trouble," she admitted, and Meg blushed.

"Shut up," she snipped, but good-naturedly.

"You guys can always come over and check out some of the cute stuff I have," Rose suggested. "I have some dresses that would probably fit you."

"I hardly have a cent to spare, so I may have to take you up on that offer," Meg agreed, but Joanna smiled.

"You’re not getting out of going to the mall with us, Rose," she teased.

"I’m not!" Rose insisted with a laugh. "I swear on my favorite pair of black pumps that I will never abandon my girlfriends again for a man."

Joanna peered down at Rose’s feet, making sure she was indeed wearing the pumps, and grinned. "Good!"

When the bell rang, signaling the start of classes again, Rose followed her friends down the hall. The days seemed longer now when she was waiting to find out whether or not Jack’s life was on the line.

*****

After spending a couple of hours at the mall after work, Rose headed home carrying a few shopping bags. She and Joanna managed to find a new dress each, and even Meg’s mother was able to lend her some spending money to look for something new as well. "That was fun," Rose breathed as she dropped her friends off at their houses.

"Aren’t we just?" Joanna winked, and Meg rolled her eyes.

"Someone’s being just a little full of herself," she teased, and Joanna stuck out her tongue. "You’ll tell us straight off when you find out what’s wrong with Jack tomorrow, right?" she added, and Rose sighed.

"Rose?" Joanna held up a warning fist and Rose had to chuckle.

"I’ll try my best, guys. Jack’ll need me, though, I’m sure. See ya later!" she called as her friends parted ways to their separate houses and she drove the rest of the way to hers.

*****

The next day, Wednesday, Rose felt a hollowness in her stomach. Jack returned to school as he’d told her he would, and the two of them dealt with an awkward silence as they walked to and from classes and at lunch. Joanna and Meg did their best to act as though they didn’t know anything, which Rose was grateful for.

When the long school day ended, Rose drove Jack home, grateful that Marietta had given her that particular afternoon off.

"I don’t feel too great, Rose," Jack admitted as they went into his house.

"I don’t either," Rose admitted, and the two of them sat down in the living room, too anxious to turn on the television set. They sat staring off into space, jumping at the slightest creak or the sound of a car whizzing past outside. When James Dawson returned home from work around 4:30, he looked at his son.

"Any news yet?" he asked, and Jack shook his head.

"Nothing, Dad."

"Why is it taking so long?" Rose cried, throwing her hands exasperatedly into the air.

"I’m sure it’s pretty busy at the hospital," Mr. Dawson replied. "Your mom called," he added. "She had to stay late at work to finish up some paperwork, but she said to call her as soon as you find out. She should be back by seven."

Jack swallowed, nodding. "Rose, let’s go to my room, okay?" he whispered, and Rose agreed.

"Staying for dinner?" James asked as they made their way towards the narrow corridor.

"Uh…" Rose looked at Jack.

"We’ll probably just order a few pizzas," James explained, and Jack shrugged.

"I…" Rose felt Jack squeeze her hand comfortingly. "If…you don’t mind," she replied, not having the least bit of desire to go home.

"You know we don’t," James insisted. "I have to make a stop at the grocery store, though, to do a bit of food shopping since your mom’s going to be late. I shouldn’t be more than an hour or so, okay?"

"Okay," Jack called, pulling Rose into his bedroom. The two of them sat on the edge of the bed, glancing at each other every now and again.

Around five, the phone rang, and Jack leapt up from his bed, snatching the receiver from the phone on his desk. Rose felt her heart stop in mid-beat and immediately hopped to her feet.

"Hello?" Jack croaked, and reached out so Rose could hold his hand for support.

"Jack? This is Dr. Stellar. I apologize for taking so long to get back to you, but it has been a bit of a madhouse today."

"Is…how did the tests turn out?" Jack asked, feeling faint.

There was silence on the other end, and Rose could see the blood drain from his face. "Dr. Stellar?" he asked. "What’s wrong with me?"

"I’m afraid the results were not very good, Jack," Dr. Stellar replied softly.

"I…I have it again, don’t I?" Jack asked, and Rose covered her mouth with her free hand. No, she thought. No, no, no, no…

"I am going to give you the news in as straightforward a manner as possible, Jack, because you are of age to hear it yourself. Yes, you do have leukemia again."

Jack stood very still. "Jack? Are you all right, son?" The doctor’s voice spoke again, but Jack couldn’t speak. The phone suddenly slipped from his hand, crashing to the floor. He let go of Rose and immediately fled from the room. Rose watched as he disappeared down the hall and knelt down to pick up the phone. She put the receiver timidly to her ear and took a deep breath.

"Dr. Stellar? This is Jack’s girlfriend, Rose."

"Ah…yes. We have met before. Is he all right?"

"I don’t think so," Rose admitted. "What did you tell him, sir, if you don’t mind repeating the information?"

"I am sorry, Rose, but by law I am not allowed to repeat a patient’s information to anyone unless he specifically requests it."

Rose closed her eyes. "I…I understand." She sighed, wishing she could reach her hand through the phone and strangle the doctor.

"Tell Jack that he needs to set up an appointment with me as soon as he is available," Dr. Stellar added.

Rose nodded. "I will. Th-thank you." She listened as the doctor hung up the phone and stood staring at the receiver for a moment or two without speaking. She put it back on the hook and left the room to find where Jack had gone.

"Jack?" she called, hoping he wasn’t doing anything stupid. "Jack, where are you?"

She saw that he was sitting at the kitchen table, his head in his arms, sobbing quietly. "Oh, God, Jack…" She pulled a chair close to him and ran her fingers through his hair. "What did the doctor say? He wouldn’t tell me anything because of that damned privacy law."

Jack gulped for air, lifting his tear-stained face. "Oh, Rose…" he choked. "I need my mother," he added, sounding so pathetic that Rose wanted to burst into tears herself.

"It’s true, then, isn’t it?" she whispered. "That you have leukemia again?"

Jack turned away, and Rose felt as though someone had punched her in the stomach. "I need to be left alone," he told her, and Rose swallowed hard.

"Jack, I don’t think that’s such a good idea," she replied, and he looked at her.

"I need to be alone," he repeated, and Rose sighed.

"Don’t forget to call your mom," she said, feeling as though her heart had been torn into a million pieces. Jack turned away again, his chin in his palm, and Rose stood up. She wasn’t sure if she wanted to leave him alone at this point in time, but she didn’t want to make him angry, either. She kissed his cheek quickly before turning and heading towards the front door.

Chapter Fifteen
Stories