Jay:
-- HAS NEVER HEARD -- "HEY, ARE YOU BRINGING A DATE?" ALL RIGHT! [ LAUGHTER ] [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] FOLKS -- ALL RIGHT. FOLKS, WE HAVE TERRIFIC SHOW TONIGHT. ALL -- ALL "TONIGHT SHOW" VIRGINS TONIGHT. THEY'RE ALL GUESTS THAT HAVE NEVER APPEARED ON THE PROGRAM BEFORE. AND YOU KNOW MY FIRST GUEST FROM MOVIES LIKE "PITCH BLACK," "SAVING PRIVATE RYAN. " HE'S STARRING IN TS MOVIE, "THE FAST AND THE FURIOUS. " I LOVE THIS MOVIE! IT'S A GREAT CAR MOVIE. THIS IS ONE OF THOSE GUYS YOU'VE SEEN IN MOVIES. YOU KINDA GO, "I LIKE THAT GUY. " AND HE'S BECOMING A BIG STAR. VIN DIESEL -- VIN DIESEL IS HERE. THERE HE IS RIGHT THERE. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] AND A YOUNG STAND-UP COMEDIAN MAKING HIS FIRST APPEARANCE ON "THE TONIGHT SHOW. " ARJ BARKER IS HERE. ARJ BARKER. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] THERE HE IS RIGHT THERE. SWIPING -- [ APPLAUSE ] SWIPING THINGS FROM "THE TONIGHT SHOW" GIFT BAG. AND HERE PERFORMING FROM HER CRITICALLY ACCLAIMED NEW CD -- SHE'S MAKING HER "TONIGHT SHOW" DEBUT TONIGHT HERE, AS WELL -- ALICIA KEYS. ICIA KEYS. THERE SHE IS RIGHT THERE. VERY YOUNG TALENTED YOUNG WOMAN. WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH "IDIOT FOR A DAY. " SAY HELLO TO KEVIN EUBANKS AND "THE TONIGHT SHOW" BAND....
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] [ APPLAUSE ]
Jay: WELCOME BACK. VIN DIESEL IS ON HIS WAY OUT.
STAND-UP COMEDI N ARJ BARKER IS HERE. AND ALICIA KEYS. HEY,
KEV, I GOT THE NAME OF THAT GUY. JAVIER CASTILLEJO IS THE
--
Kevin: OH, THAT'S THE GUY FIGHNG?
Jay: THAT'S THE GUY HE'S FIGHTING.
Kevin: OH, COOL. THAT'S TOMORROW, HUH?
Jay: YEAH, THAT'S TOMORROW. [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] THAT'S WHAT IT IS, YEAH. BUT I WOULD'VE -- I SCREWED UP THE NOLOGUE -- I WOULD HAVE TRIPPED OVER THAT.
Kevin: NO, NO, YOU DID THE RIGHT THING.
Jay: I DID THE RIGHT THING. [ LAUGHTER ] YOU KNOW MY FIRST GUEST FROM MOVIES LIKE "PITCH BLACK," "SAVING PRIVATE RYAN," "BOILER ROOM. " HIS CURRENT NEW FILM -- "FAST AND THE FURIOUS. " I LOVE THIS MOVIE. IT'S A GREAT CAR MOVIE. I MEAN, IF YOU'RE A CAR GUY -- NO SPID SPECIAL EFFECTS. REAL CARS SPINNING OUT. AND IT'S A GOOD STORY, TOO. HE DOES A TERRIFIC JOB. "THE FAST AND THE FURIOUS" -- IT OPENS RIGHT NOW. PLEASE WELCOME VIN DIESEL! [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
Jay: HOW ARE YOU, BUDDY? GOOD TO SEE YA. [ APPLAUSE ] HEY, THANKS FOR COMING.
Vin: THANK YOU FOR HAVING ME.
Jay: I'VE BEEN LOOKING FORWARD TO MEETING -- I MET YOU ONCE AT A PARTY REAL QUICK. BUT, LIKE I SAID, YOU'RE ONE OF THOSE GUYS THAT I WLD SAY, "OOH, I LIKE THAT GUY. THAT GUY'S A COOL GUY. WE GOTTA GET HIM ON THE SHOW. " SO I'M GLAD WE FINALLY GOT YOU. NOW TELL ME ABOUT -- I KNOW YOU'RE FROM -- YOU'RE FROM NEW YORK CITY?
Vin: FROM NEW YORK CITY, YEAH.
Jay: NOW, WHEREN THE CITY ARE YOU? BRONX GUY? QUEENS GUY?
Vin: NO, WE LIVED ALL OVER. BUT I GREW UP FOR THE MAJORITY IN THE VILLAGE.
Jay: OKAY. OH, IN THE VILLAGE, OKAY. NOW, WERE YOU ALWAYS AN ACTOR?
Vin: I STARTED ACTING WHEN I WAS 7 YEARS OLD.
Jay: OH, OKAY.
Vin: A BUNCH OF FRIENDS AND I WERE TERRORIZING THE NEIGHBORHOOD ON OUR BANANA-SEAT BIKES.
Jay: RIGHT. [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ]
Vin: ND WE WENT INTO THIS SEEDY HOTEL CALLED THE JAMES STREET HOTEL. AND AT THE BOTTOM OF THE HOTEL WAS A THEATER CALLED -- WHICH LATER BECAME THE THEATER FOR THE NEW CITY. D WE WERE IN THERE, AND WE WERE VANDALIZING THE PLACE AND RUNNING AROUND PLAYING TAG -- ALL THESE STUPID LE GAMES. AND A WOMAN COMES OUT OF THE DARKNESS INTO THE SPOTLIGHT AND SAYS, "IF YOU KIDS WANT TO PLAY HERE, COME HERE EVERY DAY AT 4:00. HERE'S THE SCRIPT. HERE'S $20 A WEEK. "
Jay: WOW. WELL, THAT'S PRETTY COOL.
Vin: YEAH, IT WAS THE FIRST TIME I EVER MADE AN AUDIENCE LAUGH WITHOUT GETTING SENT TO THE PRINCIPAL'S OFFICE. [ LAUGHTER ]
Jay: WOW. SO -- AND HOW LONG DID THAT CONTINUE? DID THAT CONTINUE FOR A WHILE?
Vin: WELL, UNEMPLOYMENT CONTINUED FOR A VERY LONG -- [ LAUGHTER ]
Jay: WELL, NO, BUT -- I MEAN PERFORMING IN THAT -- I MEAN, IT'S VERY NICE -- SOMETIMES KIDS DON'T -- PEOPLE DON'T TAKE THE TIME WHEN THEY SEE KIDS --
Vin: THAT'S 'TRUE. I MEAN, THEY COULD HAVE, YOU KNOW, HAULED US OFF. BUT IT WAS -- YOU KNOW, I CAME FROM A VERY MAGICAL, ARTISTIC ENVIRONMENT.
Jay: YEAH.
Vin: YOU KNOW, GREW UP IN ARTIST HOUSING, WHERE --
Jay: NO WHEN YOU SAY "ARTIST HOUSING" -- IN NEW YORK?
Vin: GOVERNMENT SUBSIDIZED HOUSING FOR ARTISTS THAT ARE POOR BUT EXCELLENT AND TALENTED.
Jay: WOW. I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW THAT -- I DIDN'T KNOW WE HAD THAT.
Vin: YEAH, IT'S A VERY RARE THING.
Jay: LIKE A HOMELESS GUY THAT CAN PAINT. HEY! [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ]
Vin: NOT A LOT OF IT, BUT -- AND SO THERE WERE A LOT OF POETS AND SCULPTORS AND PLAYWRIGHTS AND MUSICIANS AND JAZZ MUSICIANS.
Jay: AND YOU'RE A TWIN, IS THAT RIGHT?
Vin: I'M A TWIN.
Jay: OKAY.
Vin: 'M A TWIN. [ LAUGHTER ] THERE'S MORE PEOPLE HERE THAN, AT THE ZIEGFIELD ON A SATURDAY NIGHT.
Jay: OH, REALLY? [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] WELL, THAT'S PROBABLY TRUE. AND SOME ARE ACTUALLY WATCHING AT HOME.
Vin: NO! [ LAUGHTER ] OOH, THIS DOES GET INTERESTING.
Jay: BUT ARE YOU AN EXACT TWIN?
Vin: NO, HE'S THE ANTITHESIS OF ME. HE'S GOT BLONDE HAIR AND BLUE EYES.
Jay: I DON'T THINK THAT'S A TWIN. [ LAUGHTER ]
Vin: YEAH, IT'S A FREAK SHOW.
Jay: I MEAN, ARE YOU TWINS LIKE -- DO YOU HAVE THAT THING WHERE, IF YOU'RE IN CALIFORNIA, YOU GO, "RING!" HE'S IN NEW YORK, AND HE GOES, "HELLO?" I MEAN --
Vin: NO, NO, NO. HE'S GOT TWO LOVELY KIDS. HE'S MARRIED. HE'S BEEN MARRIED FOR 12 YEARS.
Jay: SO WHO'S THE OLDER?
Vin: THAT'S A VERY GOOD QUESTION.
Jay: YOU DON'T KNOW?
Vin: NO, I DO KNOW. BUT IT'S A VERY IMPORTANT FACT. 'CAUSE I'M 14 MINUTES OLDER THAN MY BROTHER.
Jay: AND I'LL BET YOU DON'T LORD THAT OVER HIM. [ LAUGHTER ]
Vin: WELL, IT DOES COME WITH ITS PERKS, IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.
Jay: REAL? NOW, DO YOU REALLY SEE YOURSELF AS THE OLDER BROTHER BASED ON THIS 14 MINUTES?
Vin: WELL, I HAD TO DEAL WITH BEING THE OLDER BROTHER. I HAD TO DEAL WITH THE ADDED RESPONSIBILITY OF BEING --
Jay: GOT YOUR LICENSE FIRST. [ LAUGHTER ]
Vin: I GOT DEVIRGINIZED FIRST.
Jay: RIGHT, YOU REALLY GOT -- SO HE HAD TO WAIT TEN MINUTES? I SEE. [ LAUGHTER ]
Vin: NO, NO. I HAVE A REALLY GOOD STORY.
Jay: REALLY?
Vin: I ALMOST SHOULDN'T DO IT.
Jay: OH, NO, NOW YOU HAVE TO DO IT. [ LAUGHTER ]
Vin: HE'S GONNA KILL ME.
Jay: I NEVER EVEN HEARD OF "DEVIRGINIZED. " THAT'S EVEN A WORD I DIDN'T KNOW EXISTED. SO GO AHEAD.
Vin: ALL RIGHT. MY BROTHER IS WITH HIS GIRLFRIEND. HE'S 16 YEARS OLD. AND HE COMES UPSTAIRS TO THE HOUSE AND ASKED MY FATHER IF HE SHOULD DO THIS, IF HE SHOULD ACTUALLY HAVE SEX. AND MY FATHER SAYS, "YOU KNOW, I DON'T -- PAUL, I REALLY DON'T THINK YOU SHOULD. I THINK YOU SHOULD WAIT, YOU KNOW? BECAUSE THIS IS AN IMPORTANT THING. " AND HAD HE DONE IT, HE WOULD HAVE LOST HIS VIRGINITY BEFORE ME. BUT THAT'S LIKE A REAL STUPID THING TO TALK ABOUT ON "JAY LENO. " [ LAUGHTER ] YOU KNOW, YOU WAIT YOUR WHOLE LIFE TO GET ON "JAY LENO," AND YOU TALK ABOUT VIRGINITY. [LAUGHTER]
Jay: DID YOU FLIP YOUR DAD A $20 FOR DOING THAT? "THANKS, P. "
Vin: I WAS LIKE, "DAD, BOY, YOU MADE ME MACHO. " [ LAUGHTER ]
Jay: NOW YOUR MOM -- SHE WAS AN ASTROLOGER?
Vin: AN ASTROLOGIST, YEAH. SHE IS -- BUT SHE'S NOT THE KIND OF ASTROLOGIST THAT SAYS, YOU KNOW, "DON'T GO TO SCHOOL TODAY. "
Jay: "YOU WILL MEET A FRIEND TODAY. " "I DID! I CAN'T BELIEVE IT!"
Vin: YEAH, NOT THE GOOFY --
Jay: BUT SHE'S LIKE A PSYCHOLOGIST, TOO, ISN'T IT?
Vin: YEAH, SHE REINFORCED IT WITH A MASTERS IN PSYCHOLOGY.
Jay: NOW, HOW DOES THAT WORK FOR YOU? LIKE, YOU SAY, "MOM, I'M AUDITIONING -- " "YOU ALREADY GOT IT. " I MEAN, DO YOU GET THAT?
Vin: NO. IT'S MORE LIKE, "MOM, I'M AUDITIONING -- " "SO WHAT ARE YOU BOTHERING ME FOR?" [ LAUGHTER ]
Jay: IS SHE IMPRESSED WITH SHOW BIZ? I MEAN, IS THIS, LIKE, COOL? YOU GROW UP, AND YOU WERE INHE LITTLE BASEMENT AND THING IN T ARTIST COMMUNITY. AND NOW YOU'RE A BIG MOVIE STAR. I MEAN, THAT'S GOTTA BE -- SHE'S GOT TO BE LIKE, "OOH, THIS IS VERY COOL. "
Vin: SHE'S NOT THAT EASILY IMPRESSED.
Jay: NO?
Vin: NO, NO. WHEN I DID "SAVING PRIVATE RYAN" -- AND THAT WAS LIKE A BIG THING -- I FLEW HER OUT TO IRELAND. AND WE WENT TO LONDON. AND TOM HANKS THREW MY 30th BIRTHDAY.
Jay: RIGHT.
Vin: AND SO IT'S TOM HANKS, HIS WIFE RITA, STEVEN SPIELBERG AND KATE, AND A FEW OTHER CAST MEMBERS AT THE BOTTOM OF THE DORCHESTER HOTEL. AND, YOU KNOW, WHAT'S BETTER THAN HAVING YOUR SON BEING HONORED -- YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN? AND SO I ASKED MY MOTHER LATER -- YOU KNOW, I SAID, "AREN'T YOU SHELL-SHOCKED THAT, YOU KNOW, THESE PEOPLE THREW MY BIRTHDAY PARTY?" SHE WAS JUST LIKE, "YOU KNOW, I ALWAYS THOUGHT YOU HAD IT IN YOU. "
Jay: OH, YEAH.
Vin: I'M LIKE, "MOM, COME ON. "
Jay: BUT, SEE, MOMS NEVER --
Vin: I'M LIKE, "MOM, DO CARTWHEELS OR SOMETHING. " [ LAUGHTER ]
Jay: WHEN I WAS ON THE COVER -- I GOT ON THE COVER OF "TIME" MAGAZINE WHEN I GOT THIS JOB. AND I CALLED MY MOM IN BOSTON. I SAID, "MOM, I'M ON THE COVER OF 'TIME. '" I SAID, "CALL AUNT EDIE AND EVERYBODY IN NEW JERSEY. " SHE GOES, "OH, WELL, YOU WON'T BE ON THE COVER OF THE ONES DOWN THERE. " [ LAUGHTER ] "THEY JUST PUT YOU ON HERE 'CAUSE THEY KNOW YOU'RE FROM THE AREA. " SHE JUST THOUGHT, LIKE, SINCE WE LIVED AROUND BOSTON, THEY DO A FEW ISSUES FOR THE PEOPLE WHO LIVED AROUND HERE. [ LAUGHTER ]
Vin: I GET THAT.
Jay: BUT MOMS -- YOU CAN'T IMPRESS A MOM.
Vin: NO, THERE'S SOMETHING ABOUT MOTHERS.
Jay: UNLESS YOU BECOME A DOCTOR.
Vin: YES.
Jay: AND -- OR GET AN "A, WHICH NEVER HAPPENS.
Vin: OH, COME ON. NOT A CHANCE.
Jay: NOW, LET TALK ABOUT "THE FAST AND THE FURIOUS. " NOW, SEE, I LOVE THIS MOVIE, BUT I'M A CAR GUY. AND THIS IS VERY AUTHENTIC TO ME.
Vin: YOU'RE THE CAR GUY.
Jay: THERE'S NO STUPID COMPUTER THINGS OR -- IT'S ALL REAL CARS GOING FAST. AND IT'S ABOUT RACING, WHICH IS A LITTLE IRRESPONSIBLE, BUT IT'S A FANTASY. IT'S A MOVIE. THE CHARACTER YOU PLAY -- TELL PEOPLE ABOUT THE FILM.
Vin: I PLAY A CHARACTER NAMED DOMINIC TORETTO, WHO IS THIS MULTIDIMENSIONAL CHARACTER WHO HAS THESE ADMIRABLE ATTRIBUTES LIKE HS HONORABLE, HE'S GIVING AND A CARETAKER. BUT HE LIVES OUTSIDE THE LAW.
Jay: "OUTSIDE THE LAW. " HE'S A CRIMINAL. [ LAUGHTER ] I LOVE THAT. HE LIVES "OUTSIDE THE LAW. "
Vin: I SHOULDN'T DECORATE IT.
Jay: YOU'RE A BAD GUY WHO'S REALLY A GOOD GUY AT HEART.
Vin: I'M A BAD GUY -- WELL, ALL THOSE FILMS THAT YOU MENTIONED, I'M DRAWN TO ANTI-HERO. YOU KNOW, THEY'RE MORE FASCINATING TO ME. THE PICTURE-PERFECT HEROES ARE UNREALISTIC AND HARD TO IDENTIFY WITH. SO -- I EXPLORE THOSE CHARACTERS. YOU KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT.
Jay: SEE, LIKE, I LIVE OUTSIDE PRIME TIME. [ LAUGHTER ] I'M KIND OF ON TV, BUT I'M OUTSIDE PRIME TIME. NOW WE HAVE A RACE CLIP. AND THIS DOESN'T REALLY TELL YOU WHAT THE MOVIE'S ABOUT, BUT IT'S AN EXCITING CLIP.
Vin: ADRENALINE.
Jay: YEAH, IT REALLY IS AN ADRENALINE RUSH MOVIE. YOU KNOW, IT'S JUST A GREAT MOVIE. 'S A -- THIS IS A GUY'S -- LOOK, YOU TOOK THE WOMEN TO THE "BRIDGET JONES. THIS IS OUR PAYBACK. [ LAUGHTER ] TAKE LOOK. [ MOTORS RUNNING ] [ BEEPING]
SHUT UP! [ METALLIC PINGING ]
UH! UH! [ PANTING ] [ TIRES SCREECHING ] [ APPLAUSE ]
Jay: OH, IT'S GREAT. GREAT JOB. THE MOVIE IS "THE FAST AND THE FURIOUS. " AND IT'S PLAYING RIGHT NOW. VIN, GOOD TO SEE YOU, BUDDY. THANKS FOR COMING.
Vin: THANK YOU FOR HAVING ME.
Jay: VIN DIESEL. BE RIGHT BACK WITH ARJ BARKER RIGHT AFTER THIS. ...