O.K. Here's the scene: Sitting there, the man wondered what it would look like when a person first touches his pen to paper, if that person were much smaller. As he touched his pen to the paper, instantly a small black dot formed. However, if one were small enough, with a different perspective, would it not be different? Wouldn’t the ink look like a huge mass of black ooze that slowly flowed outward as it seeped into the clearly visible fibers of the paper? If one were small enough, would it be possible to get stuck in the ink like the ancient animals from tar pits? What if what we think are tar pits is really spilt ink from pens wielded by aliens so large earth looks like a crumb to it? Are any microscopic aliens drowned when we use pens?
If one did not know better, these thoughts might seem like those of a crazy person. Yet if that person knew what J, one of the top agents of the Men In Black organization knew, the thoughts would seem perfectly normal.
J sat at his desk, pondering such questions when the phone rang. The deep, gruff voice told J that he was needed immediately.
Across the Atlantic, James Bond was pondering the same questions as J. His thoughts were rooted in more earthly troubles. The phone on his desk rang, snapping him out of them. The smooth, sweet voice told him that M wanted to see him immediately. There was trouble.
After Bond was quickly briefed by M, he was off on his way to a different section of downtown London. London was usually out of Bond’s jurisdiction, as MI6 usually only handled foreign threats. However, Bond was requested to consult in the matter.
He arrived at the proper place and saw several members of MI5, the organization that dealt with domestic matters, standing around something.
“What happened, gentlem…?” Bond stopped mid-sentence as he saw what they were standing around. It was the remains of a human corpse. The body was covered in a bright orange liquid. Parts of the skeleton were showing, and only tatters of clothes were left. It looked as if the body were eaten away by acid. Bond finished his thought.
“What happened here?” One of the MI5 members responded.
“No one saw what happened, but you can see the results for yourself. We have someone on the way who will analyze the fluid. We aren’t sure yet if this is a matter for MI6, but in case this stuff is some kind of biological weapon, it may be of foreign origin. Have you ever seen anything like this?”
“No, I haven’t. Let me call headquarters to see if they have anything like this in any of the records.” Bond walked away to make the call. Just as he was walking away, a different man was walking up. The man was dressed in black, and was wearing dark sunglasses.
“Excuse me, gentlemen,” he said. “If I could get you to look right here so I can get a picture for the paper.” The man pointed to the light of his neuralyzer. Before anyone could tell him that photographs were not allowed at the scene, the neuralyzer flashed. All of the MI5 men stopped. While they were stopped, the man took out a small device and aimed it at the body. A beam shot out of it, vaporizing the body and the orange liquid.
“Now, gentlemen, you were called here on the suspicion of domestic abuse. It turns out the husband left the country, however, and you doubt he will ever show up again. You will tell his wife this when she discovers he is missing.” The man walked away, he had an alien to catch.
“Not so fast.” Bond’s hand was suddenly on the man’s shoulder. The man in black quickly spun around. He threw several punches at Bond, who countered them easily. Bond quickly held the man securely. “Start talking. Who are you?”
“My name is J. I work for an organization known as the Men in Black.”
“I’ve never heard of that organization.”
“I’m not surprised. No one outside of the organization has.”
“Why are you here?”
“Because there’s a Pteptic lose in your city.”
“What is that?”
“A Pteptic is a member of the alien race of Pteptoloz. They are time travelers; usually peaceful ones. This one, however, is a fugitive.”
“Look, Mister, I don’t know what game you’re playing, but…”
“I can prove it. Let me show you something.” Bond was wary, but decided to let the man explain himself.
“Slowly.” J reached into his pocket and pulled out a small, circular, metallic device.
“This is his time-splitter. He lost it in New York, where MIB’s headquarters is. Now he’s stuck in this time, trying to hide.”
“Why did he kill an innocent man?”
“He probably didn’t mean to. Pteptics only breathe once every forty-one hours, but when they do they have to expel the fluid from their lungs. That fluid is lethally acidic. That man was probably just in the wrong place at the wrong time.”
“I’m still waiting on this proof.”
“Just watch.” The man pushed a few buttons on the device. The air in front of it ‘shivered’, and then a hole opened up. It looked like a window in the air, and Bond could see a huge, frozen wasteland. “That’s what England looked like ten million years ago.” Bond was surprised. “Now, I’m here to get this runaway alien so we can send him to his own time.”
“Fine. But I’m going with you to make sure the job gets done.” Bond and J followed the trail of the alien, until they had cornered it in a small wooded area in northern England. It was unaware of them. As they snuck up to it, J spoke.
“That’s him. Thanks for the help, but I go alone from here.” J quickly held up the neuralyzer and flashed it. Bond was a fraction quicker, however, and J was neuralyzed as the flash reflected off the mirror Bond held up. J hadn’t been wearing his protective glasses.
Bond had seen J neuralyze the MI5 men with the flash, and decided he had best prepare against it. He had torn the side mirror off a car before he approached J. The neuralyzer was only set for several hours, so J didn’t forget much. Also, having taken the neuralyzer away from him, Bond told J what had happened, so that when J snapped out of his stupor he still knew what was going on. Bond insisted on helping J.
As a pair they approached the alien, which was a large, red humanoid. It looked strong. J aimed the time splitting device at it, planning on opening a window around it, sending it immediately back to its own time.
Before he could activate the device, however, the alien turned and attacked J, knocking the device out of his hand. It knocked J down, and prepared to clear its lungs. Bond leapt forward and grabbed the time splitter. He aimed it at the alien and fired. The window opened, sending the alien back to its own time.
However, the device had been damaged when it was knocked out of J’s hand. Not only did it send the alien back, but it also tore a tear in time right over Bond. Bond was stunned to suddenly find himself in a completely different time and place. He was in the middle of a huge, green field. Bond was concerned, for two large groups of people armed to the teeth were rushing toward he other. Bond was right between them…To be continued in James Bond vrs. William Wallace.
VRS. 
