1997
4 kills
First Kill - 3 years (approximately)
Headline: Annoying little mut gets thrown into a chest along with an exploding can of bug spray!
That sums up the highlights.
I've had yawns and scratches that were more exciting than this movie. I can't even figure out why it was ever made. But, here we go...
Peter is a hip young teacher at a very liberal high school where the students can wear underwear as outer garments and curse in front of teachers. Cool, huh? Well, Peter runs into Debbie, played by Rose McGowan (I guess that's supposed to impress us), who neglects to tell everyone that she's just burned her house down, along with her mother and another teacher whom she had a crush on. Sent here to live with her pleasant holy-roly grandmother (and that damn dog!), Debbie proceeds to fall in love with Peter. Excuse me while I take a nap...
Don't get me wrong... there are some decent kills here. But come on, a man can't survive through an entire movie just seeing a grandmother get beaten to death and an Asian woman take a teapot to the face! You'll cheer. But you'll also be very puzzled. "Why?" you'll ask yourself. "Why does Debbie change clothes right on the sidewalk?" "Why does Peter think he is so cool?" "Why does this movie attempt to have a plot?"
If you rent or watch this movie, you deserve a teapot to the face as well, because you've been warned. There are so many other movies out there that would not be a total waste of time. Actually, I'd recommend just watching part 2. I saw part 2 first and that's the only reason I watched this one. Bad move. I should've quit while I was ahead.
-- Coolio
