1983
5 kills ?
First Kill - ?
There isn't really much to say about this movie except that the dialogue is absolutely hilarious. What is supposed to be a horror movie turns out to be a comedy. If you can find this movie, you should definitely check it out and watch it with your friends. We put it on at the beginning of one of our meetings, so it was on as people were arriving. It's a horrible movie, but if your sense of humor is anything close to ours, you'll love it.
We are introduced to two couples. The two guys both resemble the guy from Brawny paper towels. They're rough, outdoors-y kind of guys. Men. You know. Well, these men start to get a little uneasy when their women start talking about taking a "girls-only" camping trip. How can women survive in the forest without men? They don't wear flannel shirts like the men do. You can't survive without a penis and a flannel shirt. They reluctantly "allow" their women to go, but then realize their stupidity 10 seconds after the women pull out of the drive-way. "Why don't we go camping with them?" "Great idea!"
So, they jump in one the trucks, and head out to the forest. This is where the dialougue goes from great to damn-near perfect. These "actors" are so bad that they can't even convince us that the traffic is bad! "Man! (Long dramatic sigh...) Look at all these cars! We're never gonna get there!" "No, no, we'll get there. Be patient." You'll want to rewind the tape and hear a lot of their lines 2 or 3 times. Well, anyway, the truck breaks down, more whining and bad acting ensues, and the guys finally get to the forest just as the sun is going down.
The guys are now getting nervous and really want to find their women. Suddenly they stumble upon two ghost children. The freaky kids show the men where their father lives. They find the guy's home, deep in the woods, in some cave. They eat some of his baked human that he's eating for supper, then decide the guy's a little too freaky, so they leave.
I don't really remember everything so clearly, but basically the ghost kids keep disappearing and reappearing trying to help everyone avoid their cannibal-dad so he doesn't cook them and eat them. It starts to drag a little towards the end, but the music, which is even worse than the dialogue, keeps you laughing and entertained. Trust me on this one...
-- Coolio
