1978
5 kills
First Kill - 5 minutes
"Totally" Count - 7
This is it. This is the movie that makes it all happen. You can say what you want about Leatherface and how innovative Chainsaw Massacre was (and Blackie Woo has), but Halloween and Michael Myers are simply the greatest and haven't been matched yet. It is the absolute best "stupid scary movie."
Although I could never do justice to a summary, I'll assume that some of you haven't seen this movie yet (and at the same time, assume that you have about as much of a life as a tree.) Hey, only six of the nine who were assembled in my living room last Friday had seen it, so here we go...
This movie (and series) all begins in Haddonfield, Illinois with a little boy putting on a mask on Halloween night and slashing his older sister's bare chest about 18 times. He's put away for 15 years until he finally decides to steal the ugliest damn station wagon you've never seen and return to Haddonfield.
Laurie Strode (Jamie Lee Curtis) is 17-going-on-30, or so she looks. Anyway, she sucks and has no life and decides to babysit some retard on Halloween night. Stupidity runs rampant here. We're introduced to some great characters... One lovely blonde says "totally" entirely too many times and will have you throwing Nerds and Bottle Caps at your TV. Annie's father is the town's sheriff, yet he doesn't smell marijuana in his daughter's car. Tommy, the damn cry-baby that Laurie has to baby-sit (who returns later in the series), gets this HUGE pumpkin smashed by some bullies and he runs off, crying as usual. (I was actually suckered into believing the stupidest quote of the night: "The ironic thing is, the Smashing Pumpkins are on the soundtrack for Halloween 6!" "Really??" "NO!!! Hahahahaha!" It had been a long night, OK?)
Anyway, enough of this stupid plot. Let's talk about the important thing here: Michael Myers. Now Angela (from Sleepaway Camp) is great, but that is a little too unrealistic. Michael Myers (in the first 2 movies, anyway) is more frightening because he could be real. He could be outside of your door right now. There's such a difference.
Michael is smooth. He kills and saves, kills and saves. He knows how to kill and he knows what he wants to do with these bodies. He kills Bob, the bespectacled pervert, as he's getting a beer. But does he just kill him? Hell no! He hangs him up on the wall, like an art exhibit and pauses, adding a dramatic caesura, and admires his work!
I could go on and on about this masterpiece, but I'll make one more point. To me, it is truly ingenious to have parts I and II all take place in the course of one day! It's like those great "To Be Continued..." episodes of your favorite sitcom. I don't think Arnold or Rambo will be making any series that can fit 2 movies into 24 hours of time. Only Michael. Cause he's the best.
-- Coolio
Rev. Blood -- The most magnificent masked mauler, Michael Myers, murders many men and women in this classic horror film from John Carpenter. On a shoestring budget of less than $100,000, this ranks as the highest grossing independent film of all time; and rightly so. Mike Myers is definitely one of the greatest pychopathic killers in the game today, and he's not about to quit anytime soon.
Kat Killing Kannibal -- Pure Mike Myers goodness.
The Magician -- Great movie a freaking classic has everything people having sex then killed and Hamlet.
Hex Girl -- Definitely a classic.
Goat Gore
