1991

Kills - 5
First Kill - 5 minutes

Well, I haven't seen the first four Silent Night Deadly Nights, and I'm not looking forward to them either because part 5 just plain sucked. I mean it was a cool idea, plain and simple: local toymaker makes toys that kill people. Taking place in a nice suburban USA town, the story is about a little boy whose step-father was killed by one of these killer toys a year ago. The boy's real father, who is sort of an odd character throughout the movie, plays the "detective" type of guy who is determined to find out why these toys are so goddamn evil! The other characters are the toymaker (check this out) named "Jepetto" and his son "Pino"... very intelligent. The characters are pretty decent, but the dialogue is just too non-scary movie for my taste. And the killer... toys?? Yeah, they put out a few good ones, but it's not a very catchy name like the Angel of Death, or Michael Myers.

There were three kills (out of 5) that were really good, including a standard "two-for-one babysitter and boyfriend sex scene" kill. The third cool kill was when this snake-like toy crawled in this dude's mouth and out his eyes while he was driving! Lots of blood and gore in these two particular scenes. Besides the two good killing scenes, nothing else really tickled my fancy in this film. There is a VERY lame ending which lets us know that the director was getting just as fed up making this movie as we were watching it. Maybe if Clint Howard would've been in it for more than 5 seconds, it'd get another skull from me. Go ahead and take your chances, but I don't recommend it. Watch Sleepaway Camp 2 for a second time instead.

-- Blackie Woo

Plague -- It has Mickey Rooney in it. Yay!!

The Magician -- This is not Chrono Trigger people... talk.

Hex Girl -- Good, but not enough kills.

Goat Gore