1986
2 kills
First Kill - 45 minutes
This movie was found in the drama section of the video rental place. That should tell you all you need to know about Stepfather. It is not exactly a horror film though it still manages to surpass "real" horror crap like My Bloody Valentine, at least if you fast forward to the good stuff.
Of course, the Stepfather is the tale of a guy who just wants a perfect family and gets really annoyed when he doesn't get what he wants. The opening scene is probably one of the best ever scenes. Unfortunately, we need to see the guy's nekkid butt to get to the scene. He's all scruffy looking watching himself in the mirror. He shaves, flashes us his stepfatherly buttocks, then hops into the shower. That's just wrong. Stepfather would frown on male nudity and rightly so. Well, he puts on a suit, grabs his suitcase, and walks downstairs into a BLOODY MASSACRE FROM HELL! Actually, he just killed his imperfect family. Of course, we don't see him implementing the carnage, but surely the incredible aftermath is a sign of great things to come!
Nope. Stepfather quickly finds itself in Drama Town with plot and characters and a complete lack of killing. We're introduced to his new family, the neighborhood, and lotsa stuff you don't care about. After that great opening scene, the movie fails to meet expectations and begins to bore. The plot is boring, you never really care about the characters, and even the stepfather himself is too shallow and dull to make for a good lead let alone a killer. This is very much a drama, though he does redeem himself in the later movies somewhat.
Stepfather does have two moments that merit a skull. I have to give it half for the brutal beating of a guy with a 2x4. Stepfather just takes the stick and bashes the guy all over his head. He enjoys his work. Too bad it's not full-time. The second half of skull is thanks to his new stepdaughter, who we get to see nekkid when she takes a shower. She's not scruffy looking like stepfather was when he went for a shower, and she got Rev. Blood and Kannibal to stop during their Jimmy Stewart impressions for a moment, so it definitely is a nice scene featuring a supposedly underaged girl. We're all pedophiles! Ahhhh! I'll never quite understand why film directors think we need to see people showering. I'm not complaining, just wondering.
Still, is these two scenes worth sitting through the Stepfather? "I'm afraid not," as the rope said to the bartender. If you want to see some killing, go see Sleepaway Camp II, Jack Frost, or anything that has five or more kills (which includes the later Stepfathers). If you want to see nudity, well, get naked. All in all the Stepfather provides little background about the man to provide a worthwhile background to make it worth seeing, even if you're a fan of the sequels.
-- Dad's Sticky Axe
Coolio -- Too much drama fo' yo momma. This crap made me sick. Literally, I think. Somewhere around the time we put this movie in the VCR, I came down with this brutal cold that I still have and it's been 6 days. I have to give it half o' skull for the great board kill. Basically this movie goes a little something like this... Bored. Bored. Bored. BOARD!! Bored.
Rev. Blood
Grossy Gracie
NO SKULLS
Scaredy Cat
Hex Girl
Blackie Woo
Screamin Banshee
NO SKULLS
Kannibal
