1987
4? kills
First Kill - ~20 minutes
"I want my... I want my... I want my MTV..." Is Reagan president? Is that a Michael Jackson song I hear on the radio? Should I rent Platoon? Excue me while I tight-roll my jeans, put a dangling earring in my left ear, and put a Mike & The Mechanics cassingle in the stereo. Oh yes, this is like a time machine, people. If you want to relocate to the year 1987 for 90 minutes or so, you could do worse than this movie.
From the beginning, this movie is just destined to be top-notch 80's cheese. A little party with a little 80's music and some nice 80's hairstyles can never be a bad thing. We meet Linda, the party-thrower, who is going out with Jim, but used to date Brandon, who is invited to the party, I'm guessing because he's such a stud. Oh, Jim and Brandon used to be best friends, of course. Nowadays, however, Jim finds Brandon to be a little too civilized, while Brandon loves to crack jokes about Jim's alcoholic father. (The classic "Like father, like son..." makes an early appearance.) Funny guy. Well, of course, he's the life of the party, especially when he pulls out his hip little Ouija Board. (Note to self: Chicks dig guys who can contact spirits. Lose your friends who are alive and get some dead ones. Or just kill some of your live friends and they'll qucikly be your dead friends. Now that's what I call killing two birds... OK, nevermind.)
Now Jim decides that he's going to harrass Mr. Cool and tells him in front of everyone that the board is crap! So Studly, never one to back down from a challenge, contacts the spirit of a little boy named David. Jim makes fun of him, David gets pissed, we hear a loud BANG, and uh-oh... Mr. I'm-so-cool now has 4 flat tires! (I'd vote 4 kills there.) End of party. Well, with his tires being flat and all, Brandon seems to forget his board at the party. Linda finds it the next day and now a new party starts. She contacts an evil spirit, pretending to be David, who appears to be very friendly. But, this lasts only a short while until he uses her to be able to come out of the board and... yes... KILL.
Although I could do without the sappy friendship-rekindling by Brandon and Jim, and I usually like a little more blood in my movies, this is definitely worth seeing. The plot is not so bad and it has some OK kills. For example, Jim's buddy Lloyd, who most definitely wears his sunglasses at night, says "dude" about 186 times, and looks like he could be a keyboard player for Night Ranger, is the beneficiary of one of the greatest kills we've seen yet... sheet rock meets man! There's also a pyschic chick who is so 80's that it made me sick. She has spiky blue hair, talks like Cyndi Lauper, and is probably singing "Video Killed the Radio Star" even as she's thrown from her window. Check it out. Or just sit in your room and play Dungeons and Dragons, freak.
-- Coolio
Kat Killing Kannibal -- "TTFN!"
