A Handfull of Stars

Poetry by Your's Truly, Star

This poem is about death, suicide, life, surviving, living with pain…I wrote it around the time my friend committed suicide, and I considered suicide. It was about how pain can bring rebirth…if you’ve seen Girl, Interrupted, it’s a lot about that. We hurt ourselves on the outside to kill the thing on the inside. If you’ve ever cut yourself you know the relief it can bring. At a time in my life I would cut myself a lot, and this poem was my way of explaining that to the world…so take from it what you will…

now sleeps the crimson petal


in the two am star shine,

when salty tears can fall no more

and scarlet drops come all too easy.

with more relief.

with more release.

with each crimson petal

that falls

turning the translucent glass once reflective of the brilliant moon

deep red,

my mind wanders.

to rainy nights

and silver winged stars dancing

on the wind,

glittering through the misty streets,

and pouring their star dust into

my dying soul,

turning the crimson petals

into silvery breaths of life.

now sleeps the crimson petal.

one day the stars will dry my tears.

and bleeding can be breathing

to me.

by star

a shadow

the goddess’ shadow

tells

of the gleam of a knife

and a time of death


where dreams of power killed

when a whisper was worse than a scream

and a thousand lies flooded the earth


when a symphony of bitter love

filled the ground with blood

and friends with hate


by star

I wrote this at a vision quest I did through my church. It was really a mini vison quest, only 7 hours, but it was totally inspirational. I sat next to the river (St Croix) and watched the sun set, this poem I wrote that night. (May 13th, 2001) – please send me feed back my addy is at the bottom of the page. Thanks!

night

the tips of the windblown waves

look as though

they’ve been sprinkled with pixie dust,

as the golden-orange sun slips

quietly beneath the earth,

and a shadow spreads o’er the world

with silver winged stars.

the layer of clouds turn the horizon

deep purple lined with pink,

and the water,

once gold

is now reflective of the coming darkness.

the wind dies down

and the trees reach their somber branches towards the sky,

as an offering to the stars.

clouds float by as

the sky darkens it’s blue to black,

and the world dances thru space to night.


by star

I wrote this a few nights ago, while chatting with Winter around 5am...it's kinda odd..

lucid dreams

lucid dreams

anchor my soul,

dramatic pause.

my life slips away

like sand sifting

thru your fingers

and it’s gone.

colors vivid

reds and golds

dance languid

through my mind.

ignorance knows no port

drifting

sailing

away with my heart.

it hurts like hell

like falling glass,

like time has

refused to believe

that love exists

like I’ve refused to believe

that I exist.

I lie awake

sleep will not come

and rest my weary heart.

I hold on to my dreams

my lucid, languid

fearless dreams

that sail

thru my memory

fluttering

like butterflies

swirling

through my mind,

in vivid reds and golds.

like unborn children

waiting in a dark uterus

floating in blood

crimson scarlet

and gold

light.

I look out my window

my barred window

out of the prison

I created

to the street below

the empty street of my mind

of my heart.

I fear love,

more than death, I fear love.

demons dance

and wither away

bringing darkness

that heals,

bringing scarlet drops

that heal,

bringing vivid red and gold

that heals…


by star

This poem is about what happens when best friends leave. It's been a year since my two best friends...stopped being my two best friends, and I am finally beginning to deal with it. So tonight I wrote this poem, and if you're wondering about the pink flamingo thing, well you can email me.

a pink flamingo

A pink flamingo stands

Deserted in my soul.

Amidst the memories strewn

Like old photos

Yellow with age

And gently torn around the edges.

One of a sunrise

With it’s red and gold light

Faded over time

To a dull orange.

But the flamingo still remembers

Though the picture is calm.

The flamingo remembers

The gentle ripple of the lake

As the canoe cut through it like a knife;

The silent symphony as the sun

Spread its warmth and golden light across the black water.

What do you do when your soul takes a sudden vacation?

What does it sound like when your life no longer makes sense?

Like a pink flamingo,

Abandoned on a grave?

Left? Or placed by gentle hands.

On the grave of a soul…that took a sudden vacation.

Like a strewn memory of a sunrise

on a lake.

Like simple offered flesh

or heart.

What does it look like in the soul

when a friend no longer cares?

Like a pink flamingo

stranded

on a long desert road?

Like a box of old dreams

Put under the bed in desperation?

Desperation to forget,

Desperation to remember.

How does one go on

when the soul takes a sudden vacation

and leaves a pink flamingo in it’s place?

What happens when there’s nowhere left to go?

And no one left to care?

And all that’s left inside and out

Is an old faded photograph of a sunrise

And a pink flamingo

Deserted in my soul?

by star

I wrote this last night (Oct. 17th) while chatting with Porcelyn...I guess the NML inspires me! It's not very good...but oh well!

The Way

Can someone show me the way?

Show me the answers

Show me a way

Show me the way.

There are so many paths

One leads to righteousness

And one leads to mercy.

And one leads to somewhere

I’m not sure I want to be.

Can someone show me the way?

Show me the answers

Show me a way

Show me the way.

Please someone

Take pity.

I stand

Alone

Choking on my indecision

As if it were a bone.

I cannot choose

The path that will lead me to your door.

I can not tell

Which one has the demons on the side

Waiting to pounce.

I can not tell

Which one is a dead end.

Can someone show me the way?

Show me the answers

Show me a way

Show me the way.

I stand

Alone

Waiting in the dark

For a light,

for divine intervention

From a god I don’t believe in

From a religion I don’t practice.

I stand looking through the dark

Wanting

A strangers offered flesh

A hand to guide.

Can someone show me the way?

Show me the answers

Show me a way

Show me the way.

Can you hear me?

Can you see me?

Somewhere out there

There’s a candle lit

And I’m stumbling through the darkness

Trying to be with you, I need to be with you

tonight.

Can someone show me the way?

Show me the answers

Show me a way

Show me the way.