A Sketch in two scenes
Scene I
- Hello!
- Speaking.
- No, of course I don’t know you, and I don’t know I want to!
- Oh well I say that’s really nice!
- What, this evening?
- Now? 7.23
- Why me?
- Well I know.
- Well, I know when I was born...
- No - ah, but you’ve just told me, 10.23 tonight! Just three hours away. You’re so kind! Not everyone wants to know just when they’re going to...
- Yes I know it happens.
- Yes, OK. Everyone. But why me, tonight?
- What do you mean, you could change things? Who are you? One minute you tell me...
- I was going out to a night club.
- As a matter of fact there’s a rather nice little dancer...
- I won’t?
- 10.23
- No, well you’re right. She won’t have finished dancing by then.
- Yes, but...
- But I don’t know you!
- OK. So you’re some sort of policeman.
- What, you know that too?
- All right, how much do you want?
- Nothing? Just me? I’m not sure I understand you.
- Look, I’ve got money in the bank, I’ve got houses and...
- Well, everything I want!
- You want what?
- But I haven’t got a soul! That’s religious nonsense and I don’t believe it!
- Well of course I say that to them. Women’ll believe anything!
- Oh well, at least you agree with that!
- Reyhan? How do you know about her?
- Yes, you said.
- No. I didn’t.
- Well, perhaps.
- Yes, but only because...
- Because I wanted her. Don’t you understand anything?
- Yes, as a matter of fact she did.
- She said, - well I suppose you know that too. You seem to know just about everything.
- All right. ‘Everything.’
- 7.30
- I don’t know. I was never very good at mathematics. About three hours, a bit less by now. You think I’m going to talk to you for three hours?
- Yes, I know it’s your call.
- Look, I’m sorry I can’t just...
- I told you, I’m going out!
- What, in front of her?
- No, not really.
- OK. I’ll talk to you just a little bit longer.
- OK. Then I’ll watch TV and go to bed like a good little boy.
- I don’t know. Midnight perhaps.
- 10.23
- You could change it? But you won’t?
Scene II
- Now? 10.22
- Yes, OK. I’m still talking.
- Repent?
- Well, if what you say is true...
- Reyhan again, yes, yes, I’m sorry, I...
- Yes, I’m sorry about Reyhan.
- Yes, I’m sorry about...
Oh God!
I’m sorry about everything.
Forgive me, forgive me.
I’m wrong.
I’m sorry.
Save me!
Save me Lord!
Save me Lord Jesus!
- Thank you Lord Jesus! My Saviour!
[Dies
Curtain
Copyright © David Lawrie 1999
This sketch “A One-sided Conversation” may be freely copied, distributed, and performed, provided that this Copyright notice and permission is included, and that there is no alteration either to this notice or to the text itself.
