IF.........
If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown too?
Are people more violently opposed to fur rather than leather because it’s much easier to harass rich women than motorcycle gangs?
If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented?
If you ate pasta and antipasta, would you still be hungry?
If a pig loses it's voice, is it disgruntled?
Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
Why are, wise man and wise guy opposites?
Why don't tomb, comb, and bomb sound alike?
Why is a procrastinator's work never done?
If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that
Electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked and dry cleaners depressed?
Do Roman paramedics refer to IV's as "4's"?
Why is it that if someone tells you that there are one billion stars in the Universe you will believe them, but if they tell you a wall has wet paint you will have to touch it to be sure?
If it weren't for electricity we'd all be watching television by candlelight.
Why does Sea World have a seafood restaurant? I'm halfway through my fish burger and I realize, oh my... I could be eating a slow learner.
Why is it that when we talk to God we're said to be praying, but when God talks to us we're schizophrenic?