Yours
Snappy Answer #1: A flight attendant was
stationed
at the departure gate to
check
tickets. As a man approached, she extended
her
hand for the ticket,
and
he opened his trench coat and flashed her.
Without
missing a beat she
said,
"Sir, I need to see your ticket, not your
stub."
Snappy
Answer #2: A lady was picking through the
frozen
turkeys at the
grocery
store, but couldn't find one big enough
for
her family...... She asked a
stock
boy, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?" The
stock
boy replied, "No
ma'am,
they're dead."
Snappy
Answer #3: The cop got out of his car and
the
kid who was stopped
for
speeding rolled down his window. "I've been
waiting
for you all day,"
the
cop said. The kid replied, "Yeah, well I got
here
as fast as I could."
When
the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent
the
kid on his way without
a
ticket.
Snappy
Answer #4: A truck driver was driving
along
on the freeway. A sign
comes
up that reads: "low bridge ahead." Before
he
knows it the bridge is
right
ahead of him and he gets stuck under the
bridge.
Cars are backed up
for
miles. Finally, a police car comes up. The
cop
gets out of his car and
walks
around to the truck driver, puts his hands
on
his hips and says, "Got
stuck,
huh?" The truck driver says, "No, I was
delivering
this bridge and
ran
out of gas."
Snappy
Answer #5, THE TEACHER Snappy Answer OF
THE
YEAR: A college teacher
reminds
her class of tomorrow's final exam. "Now
class,
I won't tolerate
any
excuses
for
you not being here tomorrow. I might consider
a
nuclear attack or a
serious
personal injury or illness, or a death in
your
immediate family but
that's
it, no other excuses whatsoever!" A
smart-ass
guy in the back of
the
room raised his hand and asks, "What would
you
say if tomorrow I said I
was
suffering from complete and utter sexual
exhaustion?"
The entire class
does
its best to stifle their laughter and
snickering.
When silence is
restored,
the teacher smiles sympathetically at
the
student, shakes her
head,
and sweetly says, "Well, I guess you'd have
to
write the exam with your other hand.
