EmBARErASSing first date

 This was on the Tonight Show with Jay Leno. Jay
went into the audience to find the most embarrassing
first date that a woman ever had. The winner
described her worst first date experience. There was
absolutely no question as to why her tale took the
prize! Marilyn said it was midwinter...snowing and
quite cold...and the guy had taken her skiing to Lake
Arrowhead. It was a day trip (no overnight). No, not
Marilyn. They were strangers, after all, and truly had
never met before. The outing was fun but relatively
uneventful until they were headed home late that
afternoon. They were driving back down the mountain
when she gradually began to realize that she should
not have had that extra cup of coffee. They were
about an hour away from anywhere with a rest room and
in the middle of nowhere! Her companion suggested she
try to hold it, which she did for a while.
Unfortunately, because of the heavy snow and slow
going, there came a point where she told him that he
had better stop and let her pee beside the road, or it
would be the front seat of his car. They stopped and
she quickly crawled out beside the car, yanked her
pants down and started. Unfortunately, in the deep
snow she didn't have good footing, so she let her butt
rest against the rear fender to steady herself. Her
companion stood on the side of the car watching for
traffic and indeed was a real gentleman and refrained
from peeking. All she could think about was the relief
she felt despite the rather embarrassing nature of the
situation. Upon finishing, however, she soon became
aware of another sensation. As she bent to pull up her
pants, the young lady discovered her
buttocks were firmly glued against the car's fender.
Thoughts of tongues frozen to pump handles immediately
came to mind as she attempted to disengage her flesh
from the icy metal. It was quickly apparent that she
had a brand new problem due to the extreme cold.
Horrified by her plight and yet aware of the humor she
answered her date's concerns about "what was taking so
long" with a reply that indeed, she was "freezing her
butt off and needed some assistance"! He came around
the car as she tried to cover herself with her sweater
and then, as she looked imploringly into his eyes, he
burst out laughing. She too, got the giggles and when
they finally managed to compose themselves, they
assessed her dilemma. Obviously, as hysterical as the
situation was, they also were faced with a real
problem. Both agreed it would take something hot to
free her chilly cheeks from the grip of the icy metal!
Thinking about what had gotten her into the
predicament in the first place, both quickly realized
that there was only one way to get her free so, as she
looked the other way, her first time date proceeded to
unzip his pants and pee her butt off the fender. As
for the Tonight Show...she took the prize hands
down...or perhaps that should be "pants down." And you
thought your first date was embarrassing... A whole
new definition of being "pissed off"