Little BILLY was sitting on a park bench munching on one

candy bar after another. After the 6th one, a man on the bench

across from him said, "Son, you know eating all that candy isn't

good for you. It will give you acne, rot your teeth, and make you fat."

Little BILLY replied, "My grandfather lived to be 107 years old."

"Oh?" replied the man. " Did your grandfather eat 6 candy bars

at a time?" "No" replied Little Billy, "he minded his own

fucking business!!"

A teacher asks her class, "If there are 5 birds sitting on a

fence and you shoot one of them, how many will be left?"

She calls on little BILLY. He replies, "None, they will all

fly away with the first shot."

The teacher replies, "The correct answer is 4, but I like your

thinking."

Then little BILLY says, "I have a question for YOU. There

are 3 women sitting on a bench having ice cream: One is

delicately licking the sides of the triple scoop of ice cream.

The second is gobbling down the top and sucking the cone.

The third is biting off the top of the ice cream. Which

one is married?"

The teacher, blushing a great deal, replies, "Well, I suppose

the one that's gobbled down the top and sucked the cone."

To which Little BILLY replied, "The correct answer is,

'the one with the wedding ring on', but I like your thinking."

Little BILLY returns home from school and says

he got an F in arithmetic.

"Why?" asks the father."

"The teacher asked, 'How much is 2x3?' I said 6,"

replied BILLY.

"But that's right!" says his dad.

"Yeah, but then she asked me, 'How much is 3x2?'"

"What's the fucking difference? " asks the father.

"That's what I said!"

Little BILLY goes to school, and the teacher says, "Today

we are going to learn multi-syllable words, class. Does anybody

have an example of a multi-syllable word?"

BILLY says, " Mas-tur-bate."

Miss Rogers smiles and says, "Wow, little BILLY, that's a mouthful."

Little BILLY says, "No, Miss Rogers, you're thinking of a blowjob."

Little BILLY was sitting in class one day. All of a sudden,

he needed to go to the bathroom. He yelled out," Miss Jones,

I need to take a piss!!"

Miss Jones replied, "Now, BILLY, that is NOT the proper

word to use in this situation. The correct word you want t

o use is 'urinate'.

Please use the word 'urinate' in a sentence correctly and

I will allow you to go."

Little BILLY thinks for a bit, then says, "You're an eight,

but if you had bigger tits, you'd be a ten!"

One day, during lessons on proper grammar, the teacher asked

for a show of hands from those who could use the word "beautiful"

in the same sentence twice.

First she called on little Suzie, who responded with, "My father

bought my mother a beautiful dress and she looked beautiful in it."

"Very good, Suzie," replied the teacher. She then called on

little Michael. "My mommy planned a beautiful banquet and

it turned out beautifully."

The teacher responded, "Excellent, Michael!" Then, she reluctantly

called on little BILLY.

"Last night, at the dinner table, my sister told my father that she

was pregnant, and he said "Beautiful, just fucking beautiful!"