Male bonding

A newlywed couple had only been married for a few
weeks.  The husband, although very much in love,

couldn't wait to get out on the town and party
with his old buddies.  So, he says to his new wife,
"Honey, I'll be right
back."

"Where are you going, coochy-coo...?" asked the
wife.  "I'm going to the bar pretty face, to have

a beer."  The wife says, "You want a beer, my love?"
She opens the door to the refrigerator and shows him
25 different brands of beers from 12 different countries.

The husband didn't know what to do. The only thing
that he could say was, "Yes, but at the bar...you

know...they have...frozen mugs." He didn't get to

finish the sentence. The wife interrupted him,

saying, "You want a frozen glass, puppy face?" 

She opened the freezer and handed him a frozen

solid mug.

The husband, looking a bit pale, said, "Yes, tootsie
roll, but at the bar they have those special hors

d'oeuvres that are really delicious...I won't
be too long...I'll be right back...I promise. OK?"

"You want hors d'oeuvres, poochy poo?" She opened
the oven and took out 5 dishes of different

hors d'oeuvres: spicy chicken wings, pigs in a blanket,
fried mushrooms, pork strips, cheese dip, the works.

"But sweetie, at the bar...you know...the guys are
cussing and swearing..." The wife replies, "You

want cussing and swearing, cutie pie?

THEN LISTEN UP DICKHEAD!

DRINK YOUR FUCKIN BEER, IN THIS

GODDAMN FROZEN MUG, AND EAT YOUR
MOTHERFUCKING SNACKS, BECAUSE YOU

AREN'T GOING OUT WITH YOUR SHITHEAD
FRIENDS ANYMORE! YOU GOT THAT, ASSHOLE???"