There's truth in everything.;

Men are like a fine wine. They start out as grapes

and it's up to women to stomp the crap out of them

until they turn into something acceptable to have
dinner with.....
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Love is grand; divorce is several hundred grand.
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Politicians and diapers have one thing in common.

They should both be changed regularly -- and for

the same reason.
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Definition of a teenager? God's punishment

for enjoying sex.
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I hate sex in the movies. Tried it once, the seat

folded up, the drink spilled and that ice -- well it

really chilled her mood.
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It used to be only death and taxes were inevitable.

Now, of course, there's shipping and handling, too.
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A blonde said, "I was worried that my mechanic

might try to rip me off, I was relieved when he told

me all I needed was turn-signal fluid."
---------------------------------
I'm so depressed... My Doctor refused to write

me a prescription for Viagra. He said it would

be like putting a new flagpole on a condemned

building.