Two men were talking.
"So, how's your sex life?"
"Oh, nothing special. I'm having Social Security
sex."
"Social Security sex?"
"Yeah, you know: I get a little each month, but not
enough to live on!"
LOUD SEX:
A wife went in to see a therapist and said, "I've got a
big problem, doctor.
Every time we're in bed and my husband climaxes, he lets out
this ear
splitting yell."
"My dear," the shrink said, "that's
completely natural. I don't see what the
problem is."
"The problem is," she complained, "It wakes
me up!"
QUIET SEX:
Tired of a listless sex life, the man came right out and
asked his wife
during a recent lovemaking session, "How come you never
tell me when you have
an orgasm?"
She glanced at him casually and replied, "You're never
home!"
A man was in a terrible accident, and his
"manhood" was mangled and torn from
his body.
His doctor assured him that modern medicine could give him
back his manhood,
but that his insurance wouldn't cover the surgery, since it
was considered
cosmetic.
The doctor said the cost would be $3,500 for "small,
$6,500 for "medium,
$14,000 for "large." The man was sure he would
want a medium or large, but
the doctor urged him to talk it over with his wife before he
made any
decision.
The man called his wife on the phone and explained their
options.
The doctor came back into o the room, and found the man
looking dejected.
"Well, what have the two of you decided?" asked
the doctor.
The man answered, "She'd rather remodel the
kitchen".
WEDDING ANNIVERSARY
SEX
A husband and his wife had a bitter quarrel on the day of
their 40th wedding
anniversary.
The husband yells, "When you die, I'm getting you a
headstone that reads:
'Here Lies My Wife - Cold As Ever'."
"Yeah," she replies, "When you die, I'm
getting you a headstone reads:
'Here Lies My Husband - Stiff At Last.'"
