Viruses

 

The AL GORE virus: causes your computer to

 just keep counting.

The CLINTON virus: gives you a 7-inch hard

drive with NO memory.

The BOB DOLE (AKA:VIAGRA) virus: makes

a new hard drive out of an old floppy.

The LEWINSKY virus: sucks all the memory

out of your computer, then e-mails everyone
about what it did.

The RONALD REAGAN virus: saves your

data, but forgets where it is stored.

The JESSE JACKSON virus: warns you

constantly about illegitimate file reproduction,

while illegitimately reproducing files in
the background.

The MIKE TYSON virus: quits after two bytes.

The OPRAH WINFREY virus: your 300 MB

hard drive shrinks to 100 MB, then slowly

expands
to restabilize around 200 MB.

The JACK KEVORKIAN virus: deletes all

old files.

The PROZAC virus: totally screws up your

RAM, but your processor doesn't care.

The JOEY BUTTAFUOCO virus: only attacks

 minor files.

The LORENA BOBBITT virus: reformats your

hard drive into a 3.5-inch floppy, then discards

it through Windows.