Woman Drivers
 
Driving to my office this morning on Interstate 94,

I looked over my shoulder to the left and there was

an attractive woman in a brand new black Mercedes

(500 series), with her face up next to the rear
view mirror putting on her eye makeup. I looked

away for a few seconds, and when I looked back,

there she was halfway over in my lane, still
working on her eyeliner.
 
It scared me so bad I dropped my electric shaver,

which knocked the Krispy Creme out of my other

hand. In all the confusion of trying to straighten

out the car with my knees against the steering wheel, it
knocked my cellphone away from my ear which

fell into my Starbucks coffee between my legs,

splashed and burned BIG BOB and the TWINS,
ruined the phone and disconnected an important call.
 
DAMN WOMAN DRIVERS!