The newspaper says geography, even though I thought it said raping. Odd, I was so sure, but then maybe that’s just what a mind like his would think.  Everyone says sinner, killer, liar: you shot her under the bridge didn’t you? But no no no, I already told you I didn’t; she maybe said no when I asked if I could touch her hair but then she said yes later.
    No means yes after 3 or 4 drinks (I know that’s true at least). But still, it wasn’t my fault; the bridge was his invention. I just created me, and maybe the drinks, but not the professor in my head.  He talks a lot to me, and sometimes I tell other people what he said. But they don’t believe me when I tell them that he said it. I didn’t invent her either, which is why she doesn’t exist. He said she doesn’t exist, and sometimes he’s right so I believe him right now even though he makes me say horrid things.
     What was I saying? Oh that’s right: the implication of yes or no and the drinks.  And her hair which she said I couldn’t touch, except it was so much like the fur of the cat I once had I just needed to touch it once. It’s like a Persian rug, all red and gold.
     That wasn’t me, it was the professor saying that. Right now he’s saying “right now he’s saying” and now he says “and now he says”... it was his fault that I bought her those 3 or 4 drinks. I really don’t like alcohol anyway. It makes me sick.
    But I wanted to touch her hair, or he did or something; I don’t remember.
     And it was his hands in the back of the car - I didn’t touch her really, it was all him. (I don’t think the headline says geography, I think it says raping for real. It does, doesn’t it?) After she screamed - after that I wanted to apologize so badly for him: I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry but she cried and pushed me away.
     I don’t like him. He makes me say things.
     I miss her. I liked her hair.
     No means yes after 3 or 4 drinks, he said.
     Guns don’t kill people if they don’t exist, he said.
     He lies to me too much.
 
     I miss her hair.