Warning: I am not used to writing fiction, this might really suck.

Amy sat nervously in the briefing room at SGC. Somehow, she was fifteen minutes early. She sat at the table, looking briefly through the papers that had summoned her there. Soon, some military types began to filter in.

General Hammond began the meeting by introducing her to the rest of the room.

"Ms Kane has been asked to join the group because of her superior expertise."

"What expertise would that be?" asked Colonel O'Neill. "Haven't we learned our lesson after that nutbag from Australia?"

"Why don't I let Ms Kane explain how she can help us," replied Hammond.

Suddenly, several pairs of very curious, demanding eyes (and one pair of lovely, big, baby blues) were focused on Amy.

"Well," she began, "I have a degree in English literature."
"That is not why you're here," replied Hammond

"My art history background?"

"Nope."

"Um... Is it because of my stellar performance as Miss Hanigan during my senior year of high school?"

"Uh, no. But I heard you were excellent."

"Thank you. But I'm afraid I really don't know what I'm doing here."

"You are not the Amy Kane who holds doctorates in geology, astronomy and psychology, and pilots a helicopter?"

"Why, no."

"Then I'm afraid we have made a mistake. I apologize for the inconvenience."

"Wait!" said Amy, "I really need a job. Let me think of another way I might be able to help, please."

"All right."

Amy drummed her fingers on the table, humming a few bars of 'Hard Knock Life.' Several minutes passed. "I make a mean gumbo." (Hammond shook his head)

"I can make mixed drinks that involve fire." (Several frightened and confused looks met this suggestion)

"I know where everything is in Disneyland, and where to go to find the shortest lines."

Teal'c spoke up: "Excuse me, what is Disneyland?"

Amy was staggered that there was someone present who had never heard of the place. "It's a theme park, with rides, and parades."

"The happiest place on earth," Jack said, somewhat dryly.

"I would like to see this.. Disneyland," said Teal'c.

"We all work pretty hard here, and could use some fun recreation," said Hammond. "Would you be willing to escort members of the team though Disneyland? I'm afraid I can't spare more than one team at a time, so it would pretty much be a full time job."

"Well, I think I could manage," replied Amy.

After the meeting, a handsome young man with glasses pulled Amy aside. "I've never been to Disneyland before, either," he said. "I was hoping you might be able to give me a special private tour." He smiled shyly down a her.

Amy didn't remember the rest of her day. She fainted dead away and had to be carted off to the infirmary.

The End

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