*************

Dead.....Dead....Dead...

The words mocked Vin Tanner, echoing through his skull, hammering at his heart, and ripping at his very soul. No!..... He shook his head, frantically trying to deny what he knew was the very real, and very ugly truth.

Dead...

His lungs constricted making it hard to breathe....not that it mattered or anything....his life was over....it had ended in one simple, yet horribly painful word.

Dead....

He collapsed to his knees as his legs suddenly refused to support him. He was vaguely aware of someone grabbing onto his shoulders and bracing him. Someone was talking to him...he jerked away placing his hands over his ears not wanting to hear that word again.

Dead....

It did no good, the word resurfaced in his head, announcing it’s presence with a insistent, almost laughing, musical quality. It was laughing at him for being a fool...A fool who let himself care.

Dead.....

They were right. They had warned him. All the mobsters, murders, thieves, and other gutter trash he had ever associated with in his life, had warned him in no uncertain terms what it would cost him if he decided to care. Well...they were right.

Damn them anyways.
Dead....

A sob shook his shoulders. He felt a tear ran down his cheek, but it never occurred to him to care if anyone saw. He felt someone wrap their arms around him and hold him tightly. He wasn’t aware of who it was or why they were helping him, but he realized he didn’t much care about that either. He entwined his fingers in whoever’s shirt that was and leaned his forehead into the support they were offering. It didn’t matter....nothing mattered anymore.  His slight frame shook as sobs racked it.

After a few minutes he felt some dampness on his cheek and realized that whoever was holding  him was crying as well. Sure enough, he felt small shudders shaking that person too. Vin wondered if the word meant as much to them as it did to him.

Dead....

It was almost tangible now.

Dead...

Vin heard the word coming out of the physician’s mouth, “I’m sorry. He’s dead-“ There was nothing after that. All Vin could do was watch as his universe suddenly collapsed in a searing flash of white light. Someone had called his name...he wasn’t sure who had done that either.

Dead....

  He was falling apart. Vin had never thought of himself as unstable before, but now he was seriously considering reassessing that judgement.

Dead....

He felt someone lift him to his feet and help him to the elevator. Vin cooperated because there didn’t seem to be anything else to do. Nothing at all...it was all over...

************************************************************

Ezra paced back and forth in front of the emergency room doors. He didn’t often pace, usually he sat in one of the chairs, watching as the others paced, but this time it was him. He didn’t have long to pace. The door opened and two doctors came out. Ezra knew what they were going to say before they even opened their mouths. He considered himself an expert at reading people and these two were practically screaming their news.

“I’m sorry,” one of them began, looking sincerely sorry, “he’s dead, we did everything we could...” He must have continued after that, but Ezra had stopped listening.

Dead....

How could this be happening. He felt lightheaded as the news hit him with the force of a 45 slug. He saw Vin falter out of the corner of his eye.

“Vin!” Ezra turned to grab for him just as he collapsed to his knees. Ezra reached out bracing his shoulders and dropped to his knees, as well, in front of the obviously distraught tracker.

“Vin....” his voice trailed off, what could he say.

Dead....

He felt Vin shudder and reach up to cover his ears as if he could shut out the news, and by doing so it would make the whole scene unreal, a dream perhaps. Not a bad idea, Ezra decided irrationally. The younger man shuddered as sobs crept up from his chest. His arms fell back to his sides and Ezra reached forward and gathered him into his arms. Vin leaned his head against Ezra’s chest and cried silently. Ezra rubbed his back soothingly as he felt himself succumbing to his own emotions. He rested his cheek on Vin’s head and let the tears fall down his face.

He felt rather than saw the doctors quietly take their leave and knew he should get Vin out of here. This place wasn’t doing either of them any good. He pulled back slightly from the sharpshooter, who seemed reluctant to release his grip on him. Ezra carefully stood and then pulled Vin up next to him, guiding him to the elevator. Vin dully did as Ezra encouraged him. The fight was gone.

When Chris Larabee had died he had taken more than one soul with him.
 
*********************************************************

“I’m sorry. He’s dead. We did everything we could.” The doctor said looking apologetically at them. “ I’m afraid your suspect won’t be standing trial in this life.” After a pause he smiled slightly, “but, Agent Larabee will be fine. Provided he takes it easy for a few weeks. I’ll see if I can get you into see him” The doctor nodded and moved away.

Ezra and Vin both let out a breathe of pent up worry and fear.Vin felt a involuntary shudder go through him and he wrapped his arms around himself for a moment trying to regain his composure.

Ezra ran his hand roughly over his eyes and then raked it through his hair. “Are you ok?” He asked, glancing over at Vin.

Vin nodded, a slight smile starting to lift the corners of his mouth. “I was so sure-“ he broke off as he felt his emotions well up. He took another shuddering breathe and bit his lip sure he was going to either burst into tears or start laughing hysterically.

Ezra watched the emotions play across his face, and let a matching smile grace his own face. “You weren’t the only one,” he admitted. He extended his hand for a congratulatory handshake then changed his mind, reached out and hugged Vin.
Surprised, Vin froze for a second and then returned the hug, slapping Ezra on the back. Ezra pulled away and smiled, his eyes glistening with unshed tears. “Go see Chris, I’ll call San Francisco and instruct them to have Buck call us when he has a moment.”

Vin nodded and turned to find the doctor. He got a few feet away and turned back to see Ezra still watching him with an odd expression on his face. “Ez?” he ventured cautiously.

Ezra continued to stare at him for a moment and then seemed to shake himself out of it. “Nothing,” he said. His lips stretched back in a warm smile. “Get going,” he said simply. Vin returned the smiled and tipped an imaginary hat at him.

Ezra smiled, they were alright once again.

THE END

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