"Why do we have to celebrate Christmas?" Dani whined
"Dani, we already had this argument. Get with the story." Sarah said, rolling her eyes.
"Oh yeah." Dani said
Sarahbelle and Danibelle were sitting in a living room, looking at the lit up Christmas tree with rubber duckie on top. Dani saw the duckie morph into a Pikachu, grin at her, and then morph back into a duckie. She blinked.
"Damn contacts. I shoulda known better than to trust the 'one year guarantee'." She muttered
"Oh, are you blind again Dani?"
"Not for long! Now lets see...I'll need some formaldehyde...diaflorohexane...hydrochloric acid...and some pepsi."
Sarah gave her a strange look. "That's for your contacts?"
"Nah, I just felt like listing off random chemicals."
"But I'm not in labor!" Scully cried, screaming at the calendar. She angrily tacked it up to the wall, pulled out her gun, and started shooting at it. "Damn the man!" She shouted as she ran out of bullets, and then cracked up when Dani came in wearing her old square glasses. Dani got so mad her eyes started glowing red.
"Mommalee, I'd appreciate it if you'd stop laughing at my glasses." She said coldly.
"What did the circus freak do now?" Maggslee asked boredly, walking into the room. She saw Dani and fell to the floor laughing.
Sarahbelle walked in and joined Maggslee on the floor when she saw what Dani had been reduced to doing thanks to her horrible eyesight.
"This isn't funny!" Dani shouted, the red glow going away. After all, she didn't like Christmas, so why have her eyes be a cheery Christmas colour?
Mulder came in, holding a twin in each hand. Mulder tried not to laugh at Dani and managed to contain himself in a smirk. The little twins, however, had other ideas. They jumped out of Mulder's arms and crawled up to Dani, who was now sitting in the middle of the floor with her head in her hands, about to die from humiliation. Samantha crawled on her back and pulled her head back by the hair. Dani shouted in pain and tried to get the girl off her, but Missy grabbed the glasses off her face and put them on.
"Circus freak!" She giggled
"Hey! Come back here with my eyes!" Dani cried, crawling on the floor, trying to get the glasses back from Missy. Missy just ran circles around her and gave the glasses to Samantha. Samantha put them on the back of her head and turned to the family, saying "Cousin Dani! Cousin Dani!"
The whole family was roaring with laughter at poor Dani, who finally caught up with Samantha and tore the glasses away from her. Dani glared at them so evilly that the little twins shrieked and ran back to their Dah-dee, but peaked out from behind his legs to laugh.
Just then Tèa walked in, looking very confused. "What the hell?" She asked
Everyone just kept laughing.
"This baby's never going to be born. Let's go on a vacation." Scully said, while staring at an onion.
Mulder groaned. He didn't like the thought of Scully being pregnant for the rest of her life. "Fine, where?"
"Lets go to Antarctica!" Sarah exclaimed, visions of penguins dancing through her head.
"I wanna go to a volcano!" Maggie said, selimsing dreamily at the thought of fire.
"Can we go to Walgreens? I need new contacts." Dani asked innocently while plotting her revenge on the rest of the family for laughing at her square glasses like that.
"Walgreens is closed for Christmas, dumbass." Sarah told Dani
"I really hate Christmas." Dani muttered
"Lets go to Arkansas." Tèa said. Everyone stared at her.
"You hick, why would you want to go there?" Maggie exclaimed.
"I dunno..." Tèa looked at her Kachina doll and amused herself by poking pins in it.
"Lets go to Wisconsin." Scully said
"Ick, not cheese country. I think we should go to Japan." Dani spoke up again
"Animè freak!" Tèa yelled
Dani *thippited* her.
"How about Argentina?" Mulder asked
"Don't cry for me Cucumber!" Maggie stood up on her chair and started singing.
"Traitors! All of you are traitors! I'LL GIVE YOU ALLLLLLL DEATH!!" Dani suddenly screamed before running off and locking herself in her room.
"Uh oh, we made the little circus freak mad, Maggie." Sarah said.
"Does it matter? I'm going to go help her make her poison." Maggie said, getting up.
"How did you know what she's making?"
"Plot loop."
"Oh."
Dani set her cauldron a boil and dumped a few random chemicals in it, being careful not to mistake the chemicals for DNA. She didn't want to end up making yet another genetic freak. While she let that come to a boil, she put her old contacts under a microscope and began the short process of cleaning them.
There was a knock at the door and Dani, in a lab coat, opened it to find the twins and Tèa.
"Oh, come on in guys. You people dump some more chemicals into the cauldron, just please don't put any DNA in. I need what few strands I have for my research.
She went back to the microscope while all EW girls added their very own special ingredients to the probably poisonous concoction. Sarah added a BIC pen. Maggie added a frozen sock from PLevett. Tèa added an itty bitty microwave.
Dani turned around and the EW girls found her wearing contacts again and holding a little box in her hands.
"I thought you said they weren't working!" Sarah exclaimed
"Oh, I just needed to get some inhaler dust off of them. They're good as new."
"So what's the box for?" Maggie asked
"Oh, some freak with a fan club in Tennessee said he wanted my square glasses so I'm mailing them to him."
"Time to go to the airport!" Tèa exclaimed.
Everyone took a bottle of the poison, fed it to various members of the family - namely their parents (Dani and Maggie telling their mother that it was Pepsi, Sarah and Téa assuring Mulder that it was Coke. No one noticed...retards.), and dragged their victims to the car. Missy and Sammie giggled, happy for a new adventure.
"Who can drive?" Dani asked
Sarah flashed her permit and the rest groaned, remembering how she got it. "Move over Mark Cohen, Sarah Mulder is coming up!"
"Sarah, that made no sense." Dani complained
"So?"
"Hey Sarah, take a shortcut through the car to the airstrip." Maggie said, pointing at a wire fence.
"But cars can't fly, Maggs!" Sarah exclaimed
"But they can crash! Just zoom into it."
Sarah zoomed into the chain link fence and busted through it, but this sent the car into doing lots of 360s and ending up in the cargo hold of a random plane. The cargo doors shut behind them and they began to take off.
"Oh shi..." Dani said
