"What the flying spaghetti?" she mumbled, noticing that her four oldest daughters were sitting there with their knees drawn up to their chins looking rather guilty. Mulder was just standing there, looking dazed. Missy and Samantha were napping in a cold corner, also on top of some jackets.
She blinked once, then again, and her head cleared. "Where are we?" she demanded, struggling to stand. Sarah went to help her mother. Scully suddenly felt about eighty-six pounds heavier than she had before.
"We're in the cargo hold of a plane heading towards the Nashville International Airport," Dani admitted as Sarah groaned and sweated.
"A little help, Maggs," she managed to say. Maggie ran over to help, but upon hearing Dani's words, Scully sprang to her feet with little help from her daughters. "What did you say?" she shrieked.
Maggie bit her lower lip and looked down. "We've been on the plane for over two hours. We sort of accidently poisoned ourselves with that Pepsi," she lied.
"Coke," Sarah correctly quickly.
"Pepsi," Maggie said through clenched teeth. Dani quickly pointed at Sarah. Suddenly, Sarah flew up into the air a few feet and screamed. She came back down and looked at Dani in shock and anger. "Hey dorkus, what was that for?"
Dani narrowed her eyes. "Pepsi," she said slowly.
"Okay, okay."
"So you accidenly fed everyone poisoned Pepsi and we all somehow ended up here with..." she noticed the minivan. "The minivan in one hell of a condition lying on its side two inches from where I was just sleeping."
Sarah and Maggie looked at each other carefully. "That is," Sarah said. "Essentially, exactly what happened."
"Esentially," Maggie agreed.
Sarah paused. "Except for the part about the rabbit."
"What rabbit?" Scully asked. "I need to sit down."
She did. On Stinky. Stinky honked loudly. Missy and Samantha woke up, looking sort of stunned. Casper hissed. The babies went back to sleep.
Scully leaned back, massaging her stomach. "God damn," she mumbled. "What did you feed me?"
"Formaldehyde," Dani began, until Téa kicked her.
"Mom, are you okay?" Téa asked, concerned.
Scully didn't answer. "Uh oh," Sarah said softly. "Mom?"
"I think I'm...I think...oh shi..."
"DAD!" Maggie yelled, shaking Mulder. "DAD, SNAP OUT OF IT!"
Mulder grinned a cheesy grin and slapped Maggie lightly on the shoulder. "Get back to the sardonic refridgerator," he said, laughing.
"Whoa," Maggie said, her eyes big as she backed up, wondering how her father had managed to scare her.
Suddenly, there was a jolt as the plane began to land. "I think I'm in labor," Scully finally, weakly managed to say.
Due to another plot loop, the plane touched the ground within seven seconds. Casually, Scully shot at the doors until they sprung open, and the whole family stumbled off and into the airport. They went to a random terminal, and Maggie hung up her cell phone after a, "Thanks, Danny." She pulled the mini-fax machine out of her trenchcoat pocket and folded it up to full size. A few minutes later, eight plane tickets printed out. She handed them to the man at the terminal and they boarded. They were the only ones on the plane. "Where's this plane headed to?" Scully asked, tipping back her first class seat and wincing in pain as another contraction hit her.
"Madrid," Maggie answered, looking at her ticket, making a mental note to bawl Danny out for spelling her middle name Anne instead of Ann.
"Tokyo," Sarah corrected, reading her ticket.
"Azerbaijan," Dani read with a smile.
"Northsville?" Téa asked, mystified.
Scully read her ticket, as well as Missy's and Samantha's. "I'm headed to Bellefleur, Oregon, Missy's on her way to the Czech Republic and Samantha is headed to Aubrey, Missouri."
She cried out. "Dammit! Someone go get me an onion bagel!" she yelled, crushing Téa's hand. Tea made a face of torture. "Go get her bagels! We have thirty-eight minutes before take-off!" she cried in pain.
Dani, Sarah and Maggie hurried off, wondering if the wrath of Scully in labor could be worse than normal.
"I Always Knew *Thippit*'s Were a Bad Idea..."
