"Paranoia, paranoia, everybody's coming to get me," Sarah sang, then paused. "Wait a second."
"What?" asked Maggie.
"If everybody's coming to get me, does that mean every*thing* is coming to get me too?"
"No," Maggie replied seriously. "Everything is out to get the Bud Ice."
"Doo bee doo bee doo," they sang in eerie unison.
"What do you mean they found the recipie?" bellowed a man, surrounded by the stench of cigarettes.
The younger, dorkier man with the huge glasses from 1971 stammered. "Sir...I...I...I just don't know h-how they could h-h-have gotten the formula..."
"Bulgerdash!" the older, wrinklier man screamed, knocking an Erlenmeyer flask to the floor. It shattered, the monkey pee puddling on the floor. He tried to knock off a petrie dish, but it would move.
"Why can't I shatter the petrie dish?" he screamed.
The other man gulped. "Um, I accidently glued it to the lab table."
After a dinner of potatoes and chicken (which everyone refused to touch), Sarah stood up and promptly (and dizzily) fell onto her butt.
"Sarah, I think I told you that you may only have one little green pill per day," her mother said, slightly agitated.
"I did only have o..." Sarah trailed off and suddenly started to do what looked like an Irish jig.
The babies looked at her from their highchairs in awe, their eyes huge and disbelieving.
"Sarah," Maggie hissed.
Sarah stopped dancing, flashed a huge grin and sat down at the table. "APPLE JUICE!" she screamed.
"What?" her father cried.
Her lower lip trembled. "Meow?" she asked.
Everybody stared at her, their eyes wide and their jaws practically sweeping the floor. "Meow?" Maggie asked in disbelief.
"Mow!" Samantha attempted to mimic.
"Mow!" replied Missy, not to be outdone by her sister.
"Sarah, did you run out of Prozac?" her father asked in a frightened tone.
Almost immediatly, Maggie jumped out of her seat, stepped onto her chair and stood on the table. "We the people of the United States in order to form a more perfect union!" she began to shout.
"Huh?" asked Sarah.
"Establish justice, ensure domestic tranquillity, to provide for the common defense, promote the general welfare and secure the blessings of liberty, to ourselves and our posterity! Do ordain and establish this Constitution, for the UNITED STATES OF AMERICA!!"
Sarah thought for a second. "June nineteenth!" she yelled. "Now I get it!"
Maggie took a deep bow, then said, "Give me liberty or give me death!"
"I'll give you death," Sarah supplied, picking up her knife.
"No sharp objects!" her heated mother replied.
"I have not yet begun to fight!"Sarah yelled at the top of her lungs.
"Did anybody try to give you little pills that weren't white or blue." their mother questioned.
"No, they didn't sir," Sarah said in a heavy German accent.
"La biblioteca es a la derecha de la casa!" Maggie cried, then in a heavy Spanish accent said, "I'm going to eat your liver!"
"The library is to the right of the house?"
"No, no, a la izquierda!" she corrected herself.
"To the left, Daddy," Sarah said sweetly. "Dah-dee, Dah-dee, Dah-dee, Dah-dee," she sang over and over.
"I want a hamburger!" Maggie demanded, banging her foot down and lifting Missy out of her high chair into her arms. "Give me the hamburger or the baby goes!"
Impatiently, Dana Scully said, "Margaret, give me the baby."
"Aye aye, Starbuck," she said, saluting with Missy instead of her hand.
Scully held Missy tightly and said, "Girls, go nto your room and stay away from the windows while I call Brynnsbeth Asylum."
Maggie hopped onto Sarah1s shoulders and Sarah hurried unsteadily into their bedroom (which was beginning to smell like rotting flesh), when Sarah shrieked,
"Remember Queen Mary II!" she cried.
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