Dani looked at Sarah. Sarah looked at Maggie. Maggie looked at Dani. "I'm bored," Maggie whined loudly, twirling a limp strand of auburn hair.
"Me five," whined Sarah.
"Me sixty-eight," Dani echoed.
Their parents were gone off to work, Missy and Samantha were at daycare or something and Ari was Toaster-knows-where. The girls were sitting around the Thippet Parlour boredly.
"Let's go out," Maggie suggested.
Sarah jumped up. "Take me ouuuuuut tonight, I have to go ouuuuut tonight!"
"It's day," Dani reminded her.
"So?" Maggie asked. "Take me ouuuuuuuut today!" she improvised.
"Where should we go?" Dani asked.
"To the beauty parlour," Sarah said in a British accent.
"Yeah!" Maggie cried. "Makeovers!"
They all jumped up and raced outside. It was bright and sunny and warm as they walked down the street. A busy street. Maggie hopped up onto a fire hydrant and cried, "So let's find a bar, so dark we forget who we are!"
Sarah joined in. "And all the scars of the nevers and maybes..."
"DIE!" they sang in unison before they continued. Dani shook her head slowly. "You guys are so odd."
"We're fruity," Maggie corrected. "Fruuuuity, fruuuuity, QUACK!" she screamed in the face of an old man. The old man jumped and cried out in fear before glaring and hurrying away. Sarah fell to her knees with laughter, looking so funny that Dani herself cracked up.
As soon as they calmed down, they entered Madame Svetlana's House of Beauty. "Hi!" Maggie cried at the front desk. "My name is Margarita. These are my sisters, Sarahbellum and Daniellina. We need makeovers."
The woman snapped her gum. "Are you crazy?"
"Yes, but that's not the point," Maggie said. "We need hair dye and junk like that."
"Yeah," Sarah chimed in. "Chop chop, we don't have all day!"
The woman looked frightened. "Sit," she said, going to the back.
A few moments later, a woman came out with frizzy, peroxide hair and long green fingernails. "Daniellina?" she called.
"Dani, call me Dani," the three said at once as Dani followed the woman into the back. She sat down and had her hair washed and her scalp punctured numerous times by the womans' nails. "What color do you want your hair, honey?" the woman asked. It sounded like, "Wat cula do ya want ya haya, honey?"
"Strawberry-blond," Dani said, her chin high.
"Sure thing," the woman said, sounding like, "Showa thing."
Dani emerged into the waiting room a while later with strawberry-blond hair. "Her hair is so reddish," Sarah cooed. "Her glasses so square. Her frame so small...she's like a little ewok with red hair and square glasses!"
"Shutup," Dani said quickly.
"Margarita?"
"Looney quackers away! Heyup! Heyup!" cried Maggie.
"I want my hair black," she said as the woman took her back. "But not permenant. Only for 21 days. Can you do that?"
"Showa thing."
"I like my red hair," Maggie chattered.
She came out 21 minutes later with black hair, now a bit shorter and wavier. "Kick ass," she said.
"Sarahbellum?"
Sarah stood up and walked with the woman. "Surprise me," she said.
38 minutes later, Sarah had hair to her shoulders that curled under at the bottom. The colour was like Maggie's had been, but streaked with Scully-red. "Nifty!" she said. They paid and left.
No one recognized them now, so people in the street actually smiled at them (believe it or not). They also didn't sing, so no one even guessed that they were Mulders.
Next stop, Eye World. Sarah was far-sighted, and Maggie was near-sighted, which they already knew, but a crazy, glass eating maniac ate their glasses years ago at the Brynnsbeth Asylum, so there was no point in getting new pairs. The man had the nerve to eat a window and somebody's glass eye once. His name had been Bob, and he spoke only in Ewokese. Maggie and Sarah had loved him and often played with him in the room with the padded walls.
They told the woman their prescriptions and got two pairs of glasses each. Both got a pair of those dorky black ones that everyone in Hollywood wears, including Fiona Apple and a woman who looked strikingly like their mother named Gillian Leigh Anderson. Then they got normal pairs, Maggie's move oval shaped and Sarah's more round. They made fun of Dani's square glasses for a few minutes before leaving, no able to see with 20/20 vision and very happy because of this fact. They went back home. Their parents looked up. "May we help you?"
"Duh, it's us," Sarah said.
They stared, open mouthed. Dani now had strawberry-blond hair. Maggie had black hair, shorter hair and glasses. Sarah's hair was shorter as well, Maggie and Scully's colour. "Holy cow," Mulder said.
"Mooooooo," Sarah said.
"Moo with me!" Maggie cried. "Come on sir, Moo with me!"
They mooed for a while, got bored of it, and went to make some Jello. "To your left, you will see store employee Lucas chasing a shoplifter. He will be caught, and cooked or something like that," Sarah recited.
"And there's so much at stake, I can't afford to waste," Maggie sang.
"Yes you can!" Dani cried.
Maggie imitated another girl named Sarah. "Would you like tacos or burritos?"
"MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Dani and Maggie screamed.
Sarah frowned. "I don't get it."
"It's a Flamingburg thing," Dani and Maggie said together.
FIN
Quote of the page...
