Site hosted by Angelfire.com: Build your free website today!

Sunglasses




Maggs and Sarah sat outside of their school on the front steps, getting worried stares from the few kids who were left. The cheerleaders were practicing backflips, and the girls broke into hysterics when a blond bimbo fell directly on her head.

Just then, a man walked by and Maggs scampered up into a tree to see if she could find a bluebird of happiness. Sarah joined her, but kept her eyes on the person walking down the street.

The little man walked down the street, his suit and tie immaculate. Every one of the twenty one hairs on his head was neatly combed into place, and his shoes were shined to perfection. In his left hand, he clutched an atche case, and in his left (yes, this is purposeful), he held a piece of paper. The sunglasses on his face were making it hard to read whatever was written there, so he took them off.

Sarah fell out of the tree with a bang.

The man's large, glittery eyes were dark black and shone with a heavenly light. His smooth green skin was a sight to behold.

Why, he wasn't a man at all!


IT WAS AN EXTRA-TERRESTRIAL BIOLOGICAL ENTITY!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Maggs giggled from up in the tree. "Garsh, Sarah-bellum, I think I hear an albino elephant!"

"What?" Sarah asked, unable to tear her eyes away from the horrific sight glaring at the piece of paper.

"Oh I wish I were an Oscar Meyer Weiner," Maggs sang.

"Maggs?"

"Yeah?"

"Shut up."

"Sarah, what's wrong?" Maggs asked.

"There's a little man, but he's an ah-lien," Sarah cried frantically. "But he's not a little grey man like he should be, he's a little green man, so I think he's a cartoon come to life!"

The man put the sunglasses back on and continued to walk as Maggs took a flying leap out of the tree, yelling, "Stampy the Flying Lady!" before she hit the ground with a crash in a tangle of arms, legs and hair. "Where's the ah-lien?" Maggs asked, looking around.

Sarah sighed. "Bloody hell, he's gone."

Maggs rolled her eyes. "Sarah, were you lying to me?"

"No!" Sarah cried. "He was there a minute ago!"

"Just like that FBI guy in an e-mail I sent you a while ago?"

"Yeah...no!" Sarah cried. "The FBI guy was really Diana, but this man is really an ah-lien!"

Maggs didn't get it. "Is there any difference?"

"Bloody hell!" Sarah yelled, storming home. If her own twin wouldn't believe her, who would?


Meanwhile:

"Sir, the petrie dish is still glued to the table," the young man said meekly.

"Well unstick it!" cried the ugly, wrinkly man with the cigarette said.

"Sure, fine, whatever," sighed the young man, trying to think of a chemical formula to loosen glue.

"What did you say?"

"Um...I said, Go with it, sir."

"And why, may I ask, did you say that?"

"Because the cat ate the rat, and the dog ate the cat."

"So?"

"Sol, a needle pulling thread, La, a note to follow sol," the young man said.

The man with the cigarette left in disgust.


Sarah stood in front of her bedroom mirror. She pulled on a pair of sunglasses. She didn't look like herself. Even Maggs couldn1t have recognized her. Sarah began to murmur, "Maybe sunglasses are a conspiracy to change our looks, and that's why celebrities like Jerry Springer and the Men in Black always wear them!"

"Sure, fine, whatever," Maggs said, entering the room holding the body of a Spice Girls Barbie doll in one hand and the head in another. It looked like Baby Spice.

"It's true, Maggs. Just like the Oscar Meyer Weinie Mobile."

"Sarah, everyone knows that thing is a conspiracy. It's a commonly known fact."

Sarah was silent for a second. "But sunglasses are a conspiracy waiting to happen. If that ah-lien could look like a normal, every day person wearing sunglasses, then they must be a conspiracy!"

"Sure, fine, whatever."

Back to the stories page

All the way back home

Quote of the page...