Sarah Mulder's eyes slowly fluttered open and rested on the white ceiling. "You awake?" she called out softly.
"Yeah," her twin sister called back. "What time is it?"
Sarah glanced at her alarm clock. "It's 8:15," she replied. She heard her sister groan.
"That's it? We're graduated from high school and we're awake before noon?" Maggie closed her eyes. "I'm going back to sleep!" she shouted defiantly.
Four minutes later, Maggie was out of bed and trying to find something to wear while Sarah brushed her long, dark hair in their bathroom. She pulled a pair of black jeans and a baby blue tank top out of the closet and smiled in satisfaction. She had lately discovered that colors besides black were quite flattering to her complexion, which, this summer amazingly was tanning and NOT burning.
Sarah exited the bathroom and grinned at Maggie. "Sleeping?"
Maggie nodded. "Hell yes!"
Suddenly, they heard a huge crash and a loud scream. They exchanged a glance. They ran to their respective dressers and grabbed their squirt guns and badges. They raced into the open hallway where they heard the scream again. "TEA!" Sarah shouted. They listened again and discerned that the sound was coming from...
"Charlie's room!" Maggie cried. They ran as fast as their tired legs could take them, threw open the door to Charlie's room and found...
Tea standing over Charlie, who lay gurgling and happy on his changing table. Tea had her nose plugged and was screaming. "DANI HURRY UP!" she drawled loudly.
"Why are you screaming? YO SCARED US!" Maggie shouted at the top of her lungs.
"CHARLIE SMELLS!" Tea screamed back, tears pouring from her eyes. "And you know how I got in that fight with Terri Roberts the other day? Yeah, well, she must be watching, because Mercury, Mars and Uranus are all aligned, and Charlie's diapers just flew out the window, so I have to stand here and wait for Dani to bring me some new ones."
Maggie glanced at her twin, who looked as disappointed as Maggie felt. They hadn't had a real case in ions, not since the toilet overflowed anyways. Dani came running in with a fresh diaper for Tea, who sighed in relief as she fastened the sticky tabs around Charlie's waist. She set the boy on the ground, and he immediatly ran over to Sarah and hugged her legs.
"Yuck!" Sarah screeched. "Get away from me you undersized bucket of drool!"
Charlie laughed. "Stupid Sarah," he lisped happily.
Just then, Scully appeared at the door with Missy and Samantha on either side of her. Both girls wore overalls and had their hair in pigtails. As they were to be first graders next year, they were now too cool to bother their older sisters quite as often. "I'm taking Missy and Sam to feed the ducks," she said, a loaf of bread in her hand. "Will you girls babysit for Charlie, or should I take him with me?"
"Oh Toast, take him with you, please!" Sarah cried.
"Stupid Sarah," Charlie lisped again.
Missy and Samantha burst into hysterical laughter. Sarah glared at them. "You know, I thought once you guys hit kindergarten, my days of being harassed by little people were over."
"Good baby," Samantha cooed, hauling Charlie up into her arms. "Good baby, be mean to Sarah again!"
"You suck Samantha," Sarah warned, aiming her squirt gun.
Samantha dropped Charlie and screamed, hiding behind Scully. "Mommy, Mommy, Sarah's being mean to me for no reason again!"
Scully sighed. "Okay, we'll be back in a while," she said, lifting Charlie and exiting.
The four girls exchanged a glance. "So now what should we do?" Dani asked.
"Well," Tea said cautiously. "We could go to the beauty salon and get new looks."
"We've already done that," Maggie sighed, flopping onto the floor and casually untying Dani's periwinkle sneakers. "Why don't we go visit Brynnsbeth?"
Sarah gave a sarcastic laugh. "Yeah! Right! Last time we went to visit we got committed, remember?"
Maggie frowned.
Sarah groaned. "Maggs, you remember! Electric shock therapy, Prozac injections, Penelope ate your big toe on your left foot and you now have a fake one?"
Maggie looked thoughtful. "Oh shit! Yeah, I remember now," she said, admiring her plastic toe.
"How about we..." Dani began to suggest.
"No!" Maggie and Sarah shouted in unison.
Dani glared at them, and noticing that Maggie was trying to tye her shoelaces together, kicked her in the head. "I was going to say while Mom and the kids are feeding the ducks, we could go feed Ratboy."
The girls all agreed. They trooped up to the attic and collected dead rats from various rat traps and set outside.
"Hey Shithead!" Sarah called out lovingly. "We brought you some dead rodents. If you're real good, we'll roast Dani for you!"
"Hey, shut up Sarah!" Dani shouted angrilly. "Or I'll roast you like Cecil L'ively roasted himself! You know I have the power..."
Sarah pouted.
"Hey guys!" Maggie called, suddenly very nervous. Her sisters gathered around her and all gazed down in horror.
Lying in a pile were Ratboy's dirty clothes, a half-eaten rat and the words "Help, they took me. Lovingly, Ratboy" scratched into the dirt...
