"Hey, you! Yeah you! Mulder! What the Hell did you do to my Car?" some random shit-head yelled.
"Nothing dick-wad, " Maggie screamed back.
"Why, I oughta''..." he continued.
"Go fuck a tree?" Sarah said, finishing the idiot's sentence.
The guy was so stupid, he went off and fucked one.. and rumor has it, he got a splinter.
Back to the story.
The four girls all had the same homeroom (thanks to the fact that they are all in the same grade and to the fact that homerooms are alphabetical), so, they all went to room 101 after stopping at their lockers. Maggie had locker number 806, Dani 807 and Sarah 808. Tèa had locker 1319, on the other side of the school. It was better that way. After all the girls met up in Mr. O'Brian's homeroom Maggie took the liberty to stand atop her desk and proclaim to the class that today was Tèa and Dani's birthday.
"Ladies and Gentlemen, Bastards and Whores, lend me your ears," Maggie said, very loudly. "Let there be peace on earth and let it begin with me."
"Margaret, please." Mr. O'Brian said.
"But I have a reason to be loud and obnoxious today!" Maggie answered.
"And that would be?" he asked.
"Today is Dani and Tèa's Birthdays!!!!" Maggie and Sarah said in an eerie twinny way.
"Well, this calls for a celebration." he said, "I would like for Dani and Tèa Mulder to come to the front of the class please."
Dani and Tèa apprehensively went forward. Mr. O'Brian placed two chairs in front of the chalkboard and then made Dani and Tèa stand on them. He then proceeded to lead the whole class in a very off-key rendition of that damned birthday song. Just when it was getting good, the bell rang, and they were all off to different classes.
The next time any of them saw eachother was when a guidance worker walked Sarah into Maggie's honors biology class.
From there the four Mulder girls met up in the hallway outside the sparsely furnished room that they faculty call an "honors lounge". This room, was essentially theirs, since it was so out of the way and no one really knew about it. They all went in and Maggie and Sarah took one couch and Dani and Tèa shared the second one. They ate their lunches in peace and quiet, except for when Maggie burst into a rendition of "Over then Moon" and then into "Happy Birthday" once again.
"Brrrrrring"
"Damnit" all four girls said simultaneously, except for Tèa, who's was a bit longer.
They all went their separate ways and finally, seventh period, Dani, Maggie, and Sarah all had Gifted English...back in Mr. O'Brian's classroom. They all say in the front row, each being very attentive and participating in class.
When class was just about to end, Mr. Obrian said," Oh, I almost forgot, lets all sing Happy Birthday to Dani!"
The class did...
The girls all met out in the parking lot after school and someone had rolled the car, and sprayed it with shaving cream.
"FUCK." Dani screamed.
"It'll be alright sis, just get you a brush or towel and it'll clean up in a jiffy," Tèa said.
"Whatever," Dani said.
Then, there was a loud thud. Sarah had jumped on top of the car and was using the toilet paper to clean off the shaving cream.. and it was working.. very well... in no time, Sarah had cleaned the car and Dani was driving them home. They had a near miss with some jack-hole and Maggie let them know that she wasn't pleased.
"Get off the road JACK ASS!", Maggie screamed.
Sarah laughed, "You sound like mommie!"
No one argued.
When the got back to the Mulder Mansion, Missy and Samantha came screaming to the door to meet the girls.
"Daneee" Missy squealed.
"Teeeea" Sammy squeaked.
The six Mulder girls walked into the living room they saw a beautiful cake and several shinny packages.
"Holy." Dani managed to get out.
Mommalee and Dah-dee walked into the room, with Charlie in Scully's arms.
They lit the candles and started singing that damned song again...Dani screamed in pure terror and ran upstairs, Tèa ran after her. Sarah took the liberty to blow out the candles and then she and Maggie ran upstairs following the other two. Maggie went and knocked on Dani's door and there was no response...she knocked again....still nothing. Sarah returned with her video camera and together they picked the lock on the door. Inside, they saw Dani and Tèa playing a card came.
Sarah then did the unthinkable..."Happy Birthday to ya'all!!!!!!"
Maggie then chimed in....and they both sang "Happy Birthday to ya'll, Happy Birthday to Dani and Tèa. Happy Birthday to Ya'll!!!!!"
"DIE!" Dani spat at the twins.
"Rot in Haill," Tèa chimed in.
"Smile for the camera birthday girls!" Sarah said..evily.
Dani then charged for the camera and ran into Sarah making her almost drop the camera and Tèa picked up a water gun and squirted Maggie and then ran off, hitting Maggie in the process.
"Oww, my boob!" Maggie exclaimed.
"Damnit" Sarah said.
Then they heard Dani and Tèa laughing hysterically. Maggie took off in the direction of the laughter and Sarah picked up the camera and did the same.
"HONK!" Stinky called.
"STINKY!!!! NOT THE CAKE!!" Scully was pulling the goose out of the beautiful birthday cake that was on the table.
Dani came over to Scully, "It's okay mommalee...we have a cheesecake in the freezer...that will work just fine."
"Really?" Scully asked, dropping the goose.
"Really." All four of the older girls said.
"And I got it all on film!!!!!" Sarah said, with a very happy tone in her voice.
Tèa hit her.
"Owww, my boob."Sarah squeaked.
Mulder walked in with Charlie," Okay, I don't want to know, lets just eat."
So the whole family all got together to eat a splendiferous meal and everyone was happy, until t was time to open the gifts.
Dani got all kinds of Wicca stuff, and stuff about the Occult. Tèa got a new cowboy hat and a gift certificate to get clothes at a real store...not a hick store. There was even a small, smelly package from Ratboy, but no one bothered to open that one.
Later in Dani's room, she took out her little blue notebook and started scribbling away.
~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~TIme Passes~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~
Some strange announcer guy says, "And the $10,000 winners of America's Funniest Home Videos this week goes to..... SARAH MULDER AND THE REST OF THE MULDER FAMILY FOR "THE BIRTHDAY GOOSE"!!!!!" Congratulations!"
~_~_~_~~_~_~_~~_~_~_~_~_~~_~_~_~~_Back to reality~_~~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~~_
No one died, no one got seriously injured, no hospital visits, no major liability claims to be filed... all in all... it was a pretty dull day.
All the waay back to the cheese factory
