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PLEBEIAN IMAGE OF THE AVERAGE PASSENGER ENQUIRIES
A Glossary of British Rail Passenger faux pas
*Fresh from the Archives*
  • Is it the 'right sort of snow' this year?
  • I hold a SENILE Citizens Railcard...
  • I want the train to EdinBERG - and I want it from VICTORIA Station
  • Which travelcard zone is Cambridge in?
  • Im sorry to ring you so early...
  • Isnt there a milk train anymore?
  • Im not going to 'get off and Rebook'!
  • Now the clocks have gone back, will all the train times be changed?
  • Do I have to reserve a seat for the dog?
  • I want to go third class....
  • Can you recommend a nice trip to the seaside?
  • My husbands very late back from the office....
  • ...and please dont say theres engineering work!
  • Ah!...youve picked the phone up at last!
  • I suppose theres 'Leaves on the line' again...
  • Dont put me on hold!
  • When's the next train to Wales?
  • I'll be glad when its all privatised...
  • When's the next plane to Zurich?
  • Can you guarantee this train will run?
  • Are you absolutely sure about this?
  • What's your name?
  • What's your manager's name?
  • How much is an Awayday ticket coming back tommorow?
  • I think i'll take the car instead...
  • Are you expecting any signal failures next week?
  • Is this a Blue or White Saver day?
  • I'd like an Apex Return to Clapham Junction please...
  • You wait till Labour get into power!
  • I'm a 'passenger', not a 'customer'!
  • Does that include the entrance to Benbom Brothers?
  • Where's my 'Rail Replacement Bus Service'???

CONVERSATION CORNER

Exhibit One:
BR Clerk: "Theres a Train at 10:36..."
Passenger: "What's the next one?"
BR Clerk: "The next one is at 10:45..."
Passenger: "Is there one in between?"

Exhibit Two:
BR Clerk: "The very last train tonight will be at 23:50"
Passenger: "And when's the one after that?"

Exhibit Three:
Passenger: "When's the next train to London?"
BR Clerk: "Where are you calling from?"
Passenger: "I'm standing in my kitchen..."

THANKS TO ALL CONTRIBUTORZ
You may have some additions. Well in that case,
it may be extremely necessary to contact me,
and relay this information for inclusion...

Thank you for your co-operation.

Email: uncledeathshead@yahoo.co.uk

British Rail Waterloo Station CTEB
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