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7/4/00

My parents have just awakened. I cannot believe I woke before them on my day off, this never happens. It’s almost 10am now and I am beginning to feel tired again. Damn I wish my parents were still asleep. I am sick of listening to my mother bitch already! What a control freak! Any ways, things are looking as if they are headed in a strange direction. On Saturday night I picked up JJ from work and we headed to Boulder to kim’s apartment. On the way we stopped at Paris on the Platte for a few minutes so that we could pick up some cloves. We stood outside talking and flirting and smoking and then walked over to Shakespeare’s for directions to kim’s. On our way we talked about a lot things and listened to Type O. When we got there we couldn’t find one of the streets we were suppose to turn on, and it turns out that I had written it down wrong. When we finally got to her complex I asked JJ to look at Kim’s last name so that I could find out what her apt. number was. JJ swore he knew the name, but it turns there was no one with that last name listed. I insisted we go back to the car and look at the name I had written down. It turned out he had the last name wrong. We laughed hysterically as we walked down the hall arm and arm. We went in and had a few drinks and talked. I got wasted off of a couple drinks and things felt more at ease. I found Craig’s reaction to be a bit odd that he stared at me while I whispered something to JJ. I looked at him and said, "what"? He replied with, "nothing". I looked away and talked to JJ again, and when I looked up Craig was looking once again, I repeatedly asked him, "what" every time he looked over. Of course I still find Craig beautiful, but I just don’t understand the boy at all. By the end of the night I wound up laying in JJ’s lap while he sat there talking to me. I kept rolling over to bite his stomach and later found out that it turned him on. I was just pleased that he didn’t freak out when I did it like every single other guy I have been with has. JJ took of my leather bracelet with the word SLAVE written in it. He decided that he was going to wear it for the night and be my slave. So the night wore on and both he and I grew tired so I wound up drifting off to sleep in his arms. We awoke to the sound of Kim and Katie watching early morning wrestling on TV. All of us left around 6:30 am and headed out towards home, or so I thought. I let JJ drive my car again because the sun was to intense for my sobering eyes and my stomach was becoming ill. We stopped for breakfast then headed out towards his friends place to see if he had received the quarter bag JJ had asked for yet. He hadn’t but we hung out there for a bit any ways. I felt ill and tired so I curled up in JJ’s arms while I dozed in and out of sleep. Eventually we left and headed over to JJ’s house. I was shocked to see that he had goats outside of his place and the fact that he lived in the middle of no where. It was so strange hearing the sound of thing but the wind colliding with anything in it’s way. The entire day felt immensely strange to me. I have never smoked any substances before noon before, but already we had shared a bowl and I had downed at least two cloves. Nothing felt real and every time I tried to stand up I get immensely dizzy. I wonder if it had to do with the fact that I had not had much sleep and that I felt just a tad bit intoxicated still from the night before. Back at JJ’s place we talked for hours, and listened to music and I fought sleep as I kept drifting off as I laid in his arms. I cannot believe the intrigue that he brings to me. His tangles of long blond hair and his ever so crystal clear eyes that change from the color of the sky to the waters of the ocean at any given moment have me most intrigued. I think what I like most about him is his solid sense of self that he projects. He has a confidence that I have not seen exerted in a long while and yet he has no over bearing, egocentric ways about him. He just acts like himself and doesn’t really care about what others think. I guess that is why I am so comfortable around him. He does what he pleases and says what he wishes. He’s very blunt about things, but he makes you wonder just how serious he is when he says them by throwing you off with his little smile. I guess his parents are suppose to leave for the day today and him and I are possibly going to hang out over there. I wonder what the day will bring, it is after all, the fourth of July!