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I just came home from the store. I needed to get out of here because my mother was pissing me off again. It turns out that she isn’t so pleased with Rob’s staying here as he made it out to be. She brought JJ into the conversation again, and told me how he was too young for me, and that I was going to get bored with him. She has this idea in her head that he’s some imature bad kid that has no personality. I know it bothers her that JJ does not talk much to her. In fact, I am most certan that is the reason why she has these hang ups about him. I don’t really care though, all I care is that I am in love with JJ. Both I, nor the person I am with have to please her in any way; she just needs to realize that appeasing her is not everyone elses main priority. Any ways, lets stop with all that bullshit, I am sure it makes my Kitten a bit uncomfortable. Any ways, lets move on to something else. It’s the first really cold day we have had so far. It amazes me how awesome it feels outside. You can smell the firewood burning the moment you step outside as the cold greets your senses delightfully. Yes, October is on her way, and I can feel her presence calling to me. I always get this strange feeling inside of me this time of year. I find it quite amusing that the time of year when things begin to die off, I begin to feel the most alive. Of course I have been having those "thoughts" again. Sometimes I just want to give in and die. Right now I know that the only thing that has me going is my beloved JJ. Why is it I feel like I have something of the sort before, but about others. The only difference is I am in love with JJ. This time I KNOW for certain. I have thought I was in love with other’s before him, but now that I am with JJ I can see, feel, and realize the difference between them. He is a whole paradox unto himself, and I love being lost inside of his world. Maybe I love his world so much because it is so much like mine is. Somehow things just feel so right when I am with him. There are no doubts about how I feel about him. He doesn’t make me angry, or make me hate myself. The only thing that ever disturbs me about JJ is the fact that I might lose him some day. Is that a fucked up thing to fear? Maybe, maybe not! I do know that the fact that my losing him bother me, means that I care about him. I have always cared less about the other really. Oh Well, I think it’s time to shut my stupid mouth. I should probably do homework, but I think I am going to neglect it for the night! FUCK IT ALL!