Well, it looks like I am back for now. It has been a long time since I have written, but I have not been online much lately. My whole life has flipped into another series of strange happenings. I have recently moved out of my house and am living with my lovely Kitten. How strange is that? I did not expect it to be like this. In fact, I did not plan on moving in with him at all but it just sort of happened. It’s definitely a strain on our relationship. We have finally had our first ‘real’ argument, and our first real fight. In some ways I love the commitment we have made, and in other ways I want to run away from it. I think it is a lot to bear in such a short amount of time. I don’t know what to do, what to think, how to feel, or what to say. My nerves are on edge, and yet I feel safe and comfortable at the same time. This does not mean that I do not love my beautiful Kitten; however, it does mean that we are pushing the relationship to its limits and stretching every boundary that every couple must go through if it is serious. Another thing that frustrates me is that shortly after we moved in, he quit his job. Now I am the one paying for everything; in some ways I do not mind and at other times I feel taken advantage of. I know that he is trying to find another job, and that things are rough on him right now as well as with myself; however, it is still driving me crazy. I feel like my whole world has changed and I have no serious grasp on anything. At work people have begun to accept me, and have accept just how strange and different I am from them; however, the pressure of the actual job requirements have begun to increase dramatically. The heat is definitely on and I am sitting in the dead center of the frying pan. I have no one to blame but myself for that. I am the one who proved that I could handle all of this, and that I can get things done properly and efficiently; it is the things that no one else wants to do or even deal with, so everyone is passing it down to me. Oh well, enough of my bitching about work!

I feel like I cannot breathe lately. Maybe it is because with everything I do, I have someone looking over my shoulder. To some degree, I love the idea that I have someone to come home to, someone to talk to any time I want, and someone who is here for me. On the other hand, the lack of privacy is killing me. I need ‘me time’, as Robbie calls it. I need to get away once and a while, have this place to myself, and allowed do things like write in my journal without wondering if someone is going to be looking over my shoulder and reading what I write, or going into my web site wondering if I am typing something about them. Hint, hint, love. It’s not that I don’t love you, and don’t want you around; it is just that I need ‘me time’, like you are able to have. I am sure you, if anyone, must know what I mean. I do love you though!!! Hehe.

Any ways, I was shocked to see that people have actually begun to sign my guest book recently. My first guest book a lot of people signed, and then it crashed, along with my home page. Of course I still think it is the fault of my asshole ex that calls himself ‘dark angel.’

I just realized that I am going to need to change my email addy on my home page soon. I have changed computers and all of my system setting. I actually have three of email addresses at the present time. They are: mindysanchez@hotmail.com, MourningKiss@worldnet.att.net, and mourning6669@netscape.net. As for now, I think it is time to escape from this journal entry. I sure hope my thoughts and ideas don’t stay this stagnant for long. I really cannot stand it when I am like this. I need to start being more creative instead of so boring an stagnant.