It’s early in the morning and I cannot sleep again; Rory is passed out naked on his bed as usual. He’s so damned cute! There is no one online and I am bored as can be. I am tempted to go in the other room and begin reading Casey’s, (Rory’s friend), book. I read only the first page but so far and I liked what I have read. The only reason I didn’t continue to read it was the fact that I would love to sit down and read it with Rory; maybe as something like a bedtime story. Casey said people are looking into publishing the book for him and I wish him the best. I really enjoy talking to him; we are both creative adventures and I think there is a lot I can learn from him since he is much more advanced than I.
Today was pretty interesting. I was supposed to look for a job but I didn’t because I didn't sleep much last night; by the time everything opened for normal business hours, I was too exhausted and ditzy to do anything. I decided to take a nap but wound up sleeping for much longer than I should have. When I woke up this morning Rory reminded me that Richard, (who is going to be his roommate), was moving in today. Perhaps that is why I couldn’t sleep. I just feared the thought of someone walking around the place while I was passed out! Any ways, when I took the nap later on, it turns out Richard had shown up; he dropped off a few of his things and left. I woke up and realized the bedroom door was open merely a crack; I passed on the thought of it being Richard who closed it at first; I just assumed that is must have been the kitty’s that had done it until I got up and looked across the hall to see that Richard had begun moving things into his room. I felt like a dork; I was passed out so hard that I didn’t even hear someone I barely know wondering through the apartment.
I had one of those really crazy emotional days today; it was one of those days where you do nothing but want to do hurtful things to your body; you really don’t care about the scars you may leave behind because it’s ugly anyways, and by damaging your own flesh, it is as least done by your own control and not someone else’s; however, I was able to resist the urge until I was around Rory again; he was able to calm me down. He actually spent time inquiring about my thoughts and feelings instead of turning away from me and telling me he didn’t want to hear them; I am used to people telling me that they cannot handle hearing such things because it’s either too much of a downer or burden for them to handle. I guess that shows what types of people really do care about you, huh? Now, after this small session of balling my eyes out, I feel about a thousand times better; for the time being that is. Everyone needs a good cry every now and again; I actually think it’s healthy. It’s when you are so far gone or detached that you are unable to cry that you need to worry about; that is when the pain has been too far removed to feel, and happiness is no longer even a possibility. I know, I mention that a lot, but it is so overwhelmingly true!
Hmmmmmmmm
Ok, a morbid & random question:
Is it a good thing when a guy, who does not smoke, says that it would be a very good time to have a cigarette after having sexual intercourse?
