Dr. Christian Perring
Issues arising in Journals 1 & 2
Journal #1
Some students said they had only signed up for this class because all the other senior seminars were full, or it was the only one that fit with their schedule. But they said it was not as bad as they feared it would be.
Some students were unsure what kind of journal entry I want them to write.
Some students expressed worries about being a senior, graduating from Dowling:
Dealing with College Loans and a new stage of life. (Is leaving Dowling a little like preparing for the next life?)
Some students said it was interesting to talk about death. Some said it is hard to talk about death, especially in a class of strangers. Some hoped that as time goes on during the semester, class members will find it easier to talk about their own experiences related to death and dying. Some linked the fact that we don’t spend much time in our lives discussing death to the fast pace of life in modern America.
Some said their families use humor in talking about death, but manage to convey their real feelings and wishes at the same time. Many students were interested in the traditions that other cultures have surrounding death.
Some students think about death frequently, or think about the possibility of death of loved ones. This can include imagining what one’s funeral will be like, who will come and what they will say. (There is a character in Charles Dickens’ novel Little Dorrit who spends much time composing his own epitaph.) Other’s worry about how they would cope if a loved one died and left them alone.
Some students have had friends and relatives die, and have gone to funerals. The experience of a funeral can help people come to terms with the death: it makes it more real. Some family members who knew they were dying faced the death with dignity and without regret.
Some students had seen their loved ones spend their last days in hospital, undergoing painful treatments. This is hard on both the family and the person having the treatment. Treatment for cancer is especially unpleasant in many cases. Some said they would not want to undergo the painful treatments often associated with cancer. Some have seen relatives die in hospital, other family members have died at home.
Some students have had to tell others about the death of a loved one. Giving bad news is often painful and it is hard to know how to do it best: slowly come to the issue with hints, or just blurt out the bad news.
Some believe in an afterlife. Others don’t. If an afterlife exists, would it be something to welcome? Christianity portrays heaven as a wonderful place. Other religions that believe in reincarnation, such as Hinduism, say that the ultimate goal is to escape from consciousness altogether, and escape from the inevitable suffering that comes with life.
Charles Dickens: Little Dorrit.
John Chivery is in love with Amy Dorrit. Here is how Dickens introduces John.
Though too humble before the ruler of his heart to be sanguine, Young John had considered the object of his attachment in all its lights and shades. Following it out to blissful results, he had descried, without self-commendation, a fitness in it. Say things prospered, and they were united. She, the child of the Marshalsea; he, the lock-keeper. There was a fitness in that. Say he became a resident turnkey. She would officially succeed to the chamber she had rented so long. There was a beautiful propriety in that. It looked over the wall, if you stood on tip-toe; and, with a trellis-work of scarlet beans and a canary or so, would become a very Arbour. There was a charming idea in that. Then, being all in all to one another, there was even an appropriate grace in the lock. With the world shut out (except that part of it which would be shut in); with its troubles and disturbances only known to them by hearsay, as they would be described by the pilgrims tarrying with them on their way to the Insolvent Shrine; with the Arbour above, and the Lodge below; they would glide down the stream of time, in pastoral domestic happiness. Young John drew tears from his eyes by finishing the picture with a tombstone in the adjoining churchyard, close against the prison wall, bearing the following touching inscription: 'Sacred to the Memory Of JOHN CHIVERY, Sixty years Turnkey, and fifty years Head Turnkey, Of the neighbouring Marshalsea, Who departed this life, universally respected, on the thirty-first of December, One thousand eight hundred and eighty-six, Aged eighty-three years. Also of his truly beloved and truly loving wife, AMY, whose maiden name was DORRIT, Who survived his loss not quite forty-eight hours, And who breathed her last in the
Marshalsea aforesaid. There she
was born, There she lived, There she died.'
Several students again commented that it is strange for them to find themselves taking a class about death and thinking about many aspects of death and dying for the first time. And again, several of them said that the course looks like it will be less unpleasant than they feared it would be.
Some students talked about their families. Many students have lost close family members. Some students mentioned that their families are emotionally close and are the most important part of their lives.
Some students mentioned that their relatives had suffered a great deal at the end of their lives. Dealing with that can be very difficult. Going through a life threatening illness can change a person, both physically and emotionally. It can be a terrible fight for the person with a terminal disease. Sometimes people feel at the mercy of the disease, and sometimes they feel at the mercy of doctors. Other times the health care professionals caring for one’s family member can be a great support and comfort. Many cancer treatments are very unpleasant in both their physical and emotional effects, and it is hard to watch a loved one go through all those effects. For the person with the disease, his or her quality of life can be so drastically reduced that it is no longer clear if life is still worth living. It can be easier on the family in some ways if they are spared seeing the end of their loved one’s life. Some family members might not be ready to deal with that experience. Sometimes patients refuse treatment ("do not resuscitate" orders). It can be very hard for families and health care professionals to accept those if they believe the patient has made the wrong decision, and is throwing her life away.
Once a loved-one has died, the family is left to grieve. Several students wrote about how much pain their families went through after an illness and death. First there is the dead body to deal with. In previous times and other cultures, it was not unusual for families to do the final laying out and cleaning of the dead body themselves. One memorable such scene is described in a short story by D. H. Lawrence, "Odour of Chrysanthemums."
Some students said that they learned a great deal from the presentation on hospices, and that this has helped them think about how they would like to spend the last weeks of their lives. Several students said they would prefer to die in a hospice or at home, rather than in a hospital. Some said that they would always prefer to look after their own, and would not trust others to do a good job. Some thought that the current state of the health care profession is terrible, with health insurance and HMOs driven by the profit-motive. Furthermore, some were reluctant to ever put their relatives in a place where the condition is that they only have 6 months to live, because this seems to mean that they have given up trying to cure the disorder. Some think that doctors can be too ready to give up on patients, especially the elderly. Some thought that they personally would not want to ever give up fighting to stay alive, even if the doctors tell them that they only have a short time to live. They would prefer to live the last weeks of their lives having fun, doing all that they had wanted to but had not had the chance. (One of my professors from graduate school recently died from cancer. She spent the last year or so of her life traveling around the world, seeing many countries she had not previously seen.)
Some students mentioned how odd it is that some people will take great risks with their lives while at the same time being very cautious in other ways. How much people are ready to risk their own lives varies a great deal, and depends on many factors. Many people smoke or drink excessively even though it will shorten their lives. (When I nag my mother about her unhealthy habits, she always says, "If I didn’t smoke and drink, life would not be worth living!") If you grow up in a violent community where people don’t respect each other, it isn’t surprising if you don’t care so much about other people’s lives or your own.
One student suggested that it would be useful for the class to see some real dead bodies, and that I might organize a class trip to an autopsy lab. It would give students something to write about in their next journal. Another commented that people in the class seem rather uninvolved in the topics we are discussing, but that they were interesting topics.