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Steel Magnolias

Southern Belle's Behavior Bible

A "Belle" NEVAH:
* Wears white shoes or carries a white handbag before
Easter or after Labor Day for any reason
(save being a bride).
* Curses -- well, except for "Oh my goodness", etc.
* Blows her nose in public.
* Wears hose with runners.
* Wears shoes with worn heels.
* Wears a dress without a slip.
* Appears to chase a man.
We just act surprised when they "catch" us.
* Lets a gentleman know what she is thinking.
* Calls men on the phone.
* Sweats. We glow instead.
* Gets nervous or anxious, ruffled or stressed.
We maintain a calm exterior.
* Takes out the trash, mow the lawn,
or change the oil in the car.
Those chores do NOT exist.
* Eats large amounts in public.
* Wears velvet after Valentine's Day.
* Reveals her age.
* Wears jewelry before 4 p.m.
* Shows a hint of bosom before evening.
* Wears slacks, chew gum, or smoke in public.
* Has a grey hair till we're ready to have one!
A "Belle" ALWAYS:
* Has plenty of tissues
* Reapplies lipstick hourly.
* Powders her nose while painting her lips.
* Carries extra hose and undies, for emergencies.
* Understands the concept that it is better to
look good than to feel good
-- no matter WHAT the circumstances
(such as surgery for example).
* Has an emergency dress ready for unexpected occasions
(funerals, etc.).
* Presents any meal, even a picnic, fancy.
* Calls her father "Daddy".
* Gets the man they want.
* Knows the way to a man's heart is through his stomach.
Belles are, therefore, great cooks.
* Are extraordinary hostesses.
* Can walk in heels like she's floating on air.
* Are a bit mysterious.
* Are witty and charming.
* Respects the therapeutic value of shopping
(to ease depression, for example).
* Keeps a detailed calendar and plans her life carefully.
* Throws the best parties.
* Rescues another Belle in a stressful situation.
* Conducts herself as a lady.
* Remembers who her people are!!!
* Has STYLE!!