Recall Notice:
MANUFACTURER'S BULLETIN NO. JOHN 3:16 --
IMPORTANT NOTICE!
The maker of all human beings is recalling all units manufactured, effective immediately, regardless of make or year, due to a very serious defect in the primary and central component of the heart.
This defect is due to a malfunction in the original prototype units (code named Adam and Eve) which have resulted in the reproduction of the same defect in all subsequent units.
This defect has been technically termed "Subsequent Internal
Non-morality," or more commonly known as "S-I-N," as it is primarily symptomized by loss of moral judgment.
Some other symptoms include the following:
(a) Loss of direction
(b) Foul vocal emissions
(c) Amnesia of origin
(d) Lack of peace and joy
(e) Selfish or violent behavior
(f) Depression or confusion in the mental component
(h) Idolatry
The manufacturer, who is neither liable nor at fault for this defect, is providing factory authorized repair and service free of charge to correct this SIN defect.
The number to call for the recall station in your area is P-R-A-Y-E-R. Once connected, please upload your burden of SIN by pressing R-E-P-E-N-T-A-N-C-E. Next, download J-E-S-U-S into the heart. No matter how big or small the SIN defect has become, the JESUS repair will replace it with the following:
(a) Love
(b) Joy
(c) Peace
(d) Patience
(e) Kindness
(f) Goodness
(g) Faithfulness
(h) Gentleness
(i) Self-control
(Refer to "MANUFACTURER'S BULLETIN NO. GAL 5:16-26," for additional information.)
Please see operating manual, HOLY BIBLE, for complete details on the use and application of these files.
WARNING: Continuing to operate the human unit without the JESUS correction, voids the manufacturer's warranty, exposing owner to dangers and problems too numerous to list. Lack of compliance will result in the human unit being permanently impounded.
Once again, for free emergency service, call on J-E-S-U-S. Do it today. Do not delay!
DANGER: All human units not receiving this recall action will be scrapped in the fiery furnace. The SIN defect must not be allowed to enter heaven.
There can be no exceptions.
Author: THE CREATOR
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