Ash: No, I haven't! It was your fault that we're here!

Misty: *pulls out her huge mallet* How is this my fault?

Ash: *sweatdrop* Er... um... because your stupid Psyduck ate the map! If it wasn't for that dumb duck, we'd be in Celadon City by now!

Misty: If it wasn't for you asking Psyduck to hold the map for you, we would still have the map!

Brock and Pikachu sit down, munching popcorn.

Brock: Author, are you going to do something about this? Or are they going to be bickering all day?

Author: Well, it's pretty amusing...

Pikachu: Pikachu pika pi kachu.

Author: You've got a good point. Okay, I'll add something more interesting to the story. How about... this?

Jessie, James and Meowth walk onto the scene.

Meowth: Ah, dis is the poifect -

Meowth is interrupted by Jessie and James.

Jessie: Prepare for trouble!

James: And make it double!

Jessie: To protect the world from -

Meowth claws Jessie's face

Jessie: Ouch!

James: To protect the world from ouch? That wasn't part of the motto!

Jessie smacks James with a paper fan that appears out of nowhere at all. James whimpers

Meowth: As I was beginnin' to say, dis is da poifect time -

A ball of yarn appears in front of Meowth and he forgets what he was saying.

Meowth: La la la lala la...

James: Isn't Lala one of those Teletubbies? The green one, I think.

Jessie: First of all, it's Laa-Laa and second, it's the yellow one. I should know, I love that show! Big hug!

James [backing away]: First of all, how can you tell the difference in the way it's spelled by speaking and second, get away from me!

James flees from Jessie, who is saying things like 'Eh-oh!' and blathering on about that little vacuum thing.

Brock: This isn't any fun either. Can't we see something exciting?

James pauses to rest on a tree because Jessie is listening to a microphone that has come up out of the ground and is giving instructions.

Author: I'll try for exciting.

James takes off his shirt and strikes poses.

Jessie: Nice bod.

A huge droplet splatters the ground near Ash and Misty, and they look up from their argument.

Ash: What the heck was that?

Misty: I think that was the Author drooling.

Author: *sweatdrop* Heh heh... sorry about that.

Misty: *singsong voice* The Author likes James, The Author likes James!

A Snorlax falls on Misty.

Misty: Ouch...

Brock: Can we at least get out of this scene, please?

Author: Fine.

Reluctantly, the Author makes James put his shirt back on, and a huge Rapidash appears in front of them.

Author: You get to ride this amazing Rapidash. It can hold five people safely, has shoulder seat belts and comes first in its class for safety! It also makes Julienne fries!

Rapidash strikes a heroic pose

Author: It can't stand on only two hooves, though.

Rapidash snorts at the author, gets back down on all fours and goes to munch on some grass.

Jessie: Well, what are you twerps waiting for? Let's get on that Rapidash!

Jessie climbs on Rapidash's back, followed by James and Meowth, who sits on Jessie's lap.

Ash: Yeah! Let's go!

Brock gets on, followed by Misty and Ash in the very front.

Ash: Cool! I get to steer!

Ash starts to tug on the reins when Rapidash sees that a moron [sorry, all Ash fans!] is trying to steer. Rapidash turns up the heat and Ash gets toasted!

Ash: Yeow! Watch what you're burning!

Jessie: Owww, you stupid horse!

Jessie takes out her fan and smacks Rapidash in anger. She hits its flank, and away they go!

Brock, Misty, Ash, Jessie, and James hang on for dear life. Meowth doesn't and falls off Rapidash.

Meowth: Hey! Wait for Meowth!

Meowth tries to catch up, along with Pikachu and Togepi. Meowth accidentally steps on Pikachu's tail and gets fried. Pikachu: Pikapika pi kachu chu pika.

Ash: Come on, Pikachu! Get on the Rapidash!

Pikachu makes a flying leap just as Rapidash speeds up and Pikachu falls flat on its face. Pikachu proceeds to thundershock everyone on the Rapidash, especially the Rapidash itself. Rapidash deposits everyone on the ground and disappears, its usefulness having expired.

Ash: Don't talk in such long words, it confuses me.

Author: Pikachu zaps everyone. Rapidash dumps you on the ground and is gone.

Ash: Oh.

Brock: Hey! We're in Celadon City! Yippee!

Ash: What, that city with the stinky perfume?

Misty: Don't diss the perfume! It smells so romantic! *hearts in her eyes*

Brock: Well, I'm off to find the gym. Bye!

Brock runs off towards the huge gym.

Ash: I wonder why he wants to go there.

Misty: *sarcastically* Yeah, I wonder.

James: Hey, don't forget about us!

Jessie: Yeah! Has the Author deserted us again?

Author: I would never desert you! Not James, anyway...

Jessie looks indignant. James looks worried.

Brock comes back, levitating. Erika follows.

Brock: *incoherent babble*

Misty: Looks like Brock finally found a date.

Ash: Yeah! With Erika!

James: I don't like this fic. It's scary. Can we end it?

Jessie: James, be realistic. We'd need a real hero to end this fic.

Gary drives up in his red convertible.

Gary: Did I hear someone needs a hero?

Ash: Gary! *falls on his face*

James runs up to Gary and gets a firm grip on his shirt collar.

James: Please, please, pretty please tell us HOW TO FINISH THIS FIC!

Gary: Oh, that's simple! All you have to do is say the magic words!

James looks at the author and begs.

James: Pleeeeeease?

Gary falls on his face.

Gary: Not that magic word! You have to say T-

Gary is interrupted by a loud explosion.

James jumps three feet in the air.

James: What was that? I'm scared!

Gary: As I was saying, the magic words are...

Gary is interrupted by a Snorlax falling on his head.

Gary: *in a weak voice* The...

Three more Snorlaxes fall on him. They get into a huge fight, drowning out any noises Gary might be making.

Jessie: I think I know... James, come here.

James walks over to Jessie and she whispers in his ear. His face lights up.

James: You mean, that's it? That's all I need to say?

Jessie: I think so.

James: Okay. Are you ready?

Entire cast: Yes!

James: Are you sure?

Entire cast: YES!

James: Are you sure you're sure?

Entire cast: YES ALREADY! SAY IT!

James: The End.