Eugene was traveling with his girlfriend Laura, the daughter of the Barkley's foreman. She attended college with Eugene . It was their opportunity to visit family at the same time.
"Is college boy home yet?" Jarrod entered the house and dropped his hat on the table.
"No. And he's late." Nick moved from the window where he had been keeping vigil.
"Well, he probably stopped for a picnic lunch with that pretty little Laura," Jarrod mused.
"Yeah," Nick nodded. But what had a strangle hold of his brain was not Eugene's tardiness. It was something that had held his mind captive for some time. Maybe it wasn't important. Maybe it shouldn't matter. But it did. Eugene was nineteen years old and in the seventeen in which he could talk he not once had told Nick that he loved him. He would just look nervously at the ground or the wall when Nick said those three words that by his reasoning any man should be able to say to his brother.
"Hey, brother Nick, where are you?" Jarrod had noticed his brother's thoughts drift far away.
"Mmm?" Nick returned. He gazed at Jarrod's concerned face.
"I'm sure Gene's fine," Jarrod smiled.
"Of course he is," Nick stated as though the lateness had been his worry all along. He studied Jarrod, his only older brother, a person who since they were little, through actions and words had taught him what it meant to be brothers. The first words Nick remembered hearing Jarrod speak to him as a child were, "I love you." And when he was starting to talk it was the first thing he wanted to tell him. It was Jarrod's doing if he loved to say it and hear it.
Even Heath, relatively new to the fold, who sometimes felt uncomfortable with Nick's boisterous hugs and kisses managed to have "I love you escape his lips. Though it usually earned him a big resounding kiss on the cheek from Nick (or a lighter kiss to the forehead if it was Jarrod).
But Nick couldn't help himself. He was overflowing with love for his brothers and the need to show it.
Gene entered the house. "Just as I thought, the two of you standing around doing nothing."
"Just waiting for you, my boy," Jarrod said as he wrapped his arms around his youngest brother. Gene relaxed. His brother's embrace was a comfortable place to be.
"Hey, where's mine?" Nick was impatient about being greeted as well.
Gene received a kiss from Jarrod before leaving him and falling into Nick's waiting arms.
"Where's Heath?" Gene asked when Nick finally let go.
Jarrod answered. "Delivering a horse. He'll be back by dinner."
The brothers had a good evening. The played billiards, talked and were just...brothers.
"Where are you off to so early?" Nick inquired of Gene. Then he spotted Laura standing there. Both wore riding clothes.
Gene approached his brother. "Don't worry. We're just going out for an hour or two. I still plan to spend the rest of the day with my brothers." He gave Nick's shoulder a squeeze.
Nick grinned. "Have a good time. Love you."
Gene dropped his arm and looked away. "We'd better go," he told his waiting girlfriend. But all she saw was the hurt look on Nick's face.
Gene and Laura rode along in silence for some time before he finally asked, "Is something bothering you?"
"No. It's nothing."
"It must be something. You're never this quiet."
Laura stopped. Gene stopped beside her. "Something is on my mind but I'm not sure you want to hear it."
Gene dismounted. "Come on. Let's talk." He sat on the ground beside a tree. Laura joined him. "You've got my undivided attention."
"Well, it's something I've noticed before. And I noticed it again today. And it's probably none of my business...why won't you tell your brother you love him?" She had decided that beating around the bush would not not be the best approach. "When he says it to you you just look away. I see the expression on his face. It hurts him."
Gene clenched his teeth. "You're right."
"About it hurting him?"
"No. About it being none of your business." Laura's face fell. "I'm sorry, Laura. I just don't like to discuss it. It's not that easy."
"If you can't tell your brother you love him who can you tell?"
"I tell you," Gene quipped hoping she'd drop the subject.
"Very funny."
"I don't say it to Jarrod or Heath either. They don't seem to mind."
Laura stared directly into Gene's eyes. "Who are you trying to convince me or you?"
Gene grew thoughtful. He knew she was right. It probably did bother Jarrod and Heath as much as it did Nick. Nick just showed it more. "It's hard," he told her.
"No. It's really very simple. I mean you don't have to make a big production out of it. Just next time he says it, say 'I love you too'."
Gene appeared to be mulling it over but Laura really did not know.
Gene tossed it around his brain the rest of the day. And he tossed and turned with it all night. His brothers loved him so much. How could he ever match that. That's what really had knotted his tongue all these years. How could he say it? It just didn't seem to be enough. How could he ever make them feel the way they made him feel. 'I love you' couldn't be enough. Or could it? Gene drifted into a restless sleep.
The three older Barkley brothers lined up to say goodbye to Gene. Heath was first. He gave Gene a quick hug. "Study hard."
Gene put a kiss on Heath's cheek. "I always do."
Jarrod was next. "Treat Laura nice."
Gene hugged him. "I always do that too." He moved to Nick who bear-hugged him and kissed the top of his head.
"I love you, Gene," Nick said still hugging him. He never gave up.
Gene swallowed hard and took a breath. "I love you too, Nick."
Nick was so shocked he let go. He looked like he wanted to smile and cry at the same time. "Well, now," he said softly, "I believe that's the first time you've ever said that to me."
"I know," Gene said reassuringly. "But I've always felt it." The two hugged again.
Jarrod and Heath looked to each other. 'Feeling it' is what mattered. But Gene felt it enough to say it as well knowing how much it meant to Nick. They knew Gene felt it for them too. And they'd hear it when he was ready. But this was Nick's day.
The End