The Jewish studies professor reached for the set of keys that dangled from her belt loop. Unclipping them she stopped. "Wait a minute. Why am I lending you my car?"
"I have to pick up an artifact at UPS," the newbie professor explained. "And my lem......classic is in the shop again."
"UPS doesn't deliver to the U?"
Blair rolled his eyes. "Not when the shipper lists the UPS office as the delivery destination."
Michelle shook her head but handed over the keys. "Just be careful with it."
Taking the keys the young man made a race car sound. "Come on. I was very careful when I used it to cart all those blintzes over here."
"Don't remind me," she bemoaned. "I never want to see another blintze as long as I live."
"And I never want to see this again as long as I live."
Michelle and Blair turned to see William Ellison who had come through the open office door.
"I'm glad the two of you are here. It will save me some time." The senior Ellison slapped a newspaper on the desk, a newspaper displaying a photo of his son leaving Yom Kippur festivities with the two professors. "Are you trying to convert my son?" he demanded.
Blair looked amused. "To what?"
Mr. Ellison sneered. "You have a point."
"Yes, but what's yours?" Michelle interrupted.
Senior's eyes narrowed. "To put it bluntly, by the time you two are finished I'm going to have a faggot Jew for a son."
Blair and Michelle looked at each other both trying not to laugh at the absurdity.
It was finally Michelle who spoke. "Wouldn't that be faygelleh?"
Mr. Ellison was not amused. "I was hoping we could have a rational discussion about this..."
"Not with you here," Blair murmured. Then he turned to his colleague. "I think Mr. Ellison doesn't want us to play with Jim anymore," he said in a little boy voice.
Somewhere in Mr. Ellison's narrow mind he knew that Blair was joking but said, "You're finally catching on. All you have to do is move out of my son's home...."
"And go where," Blair couldn't help asking.
"Move in with her," the older man indicated Michelle. "Stay with your own kind." He then focused on the 'her' in question. "Maybe if you have Mr. Sandburg there you won't need the company of my son.."
Michelle rubbed at her forehead. "Is it just me or is he getting more ridiculous sounding."
Mr. Ellison squared his shoulders. "I knew I was wasting my time coming here." He turned stiffly and marched out of the office.
“That’s one thing he got right,” Michelle observed.
Blair looked to his colleague. "I don't suppose there's any question as to where he's heading."
Michelle shook her head.
"And I don't suppose there's any question but that we should follow him."
Michelle gestured as if to say, 'lead the way.' The two exited the office, the Jewish professor punching buttons on her cell phone.
Detective James Ellison massaged his temples, hoping to rub away the oncoming headache. If only he could erase his oncoming father as easily. Good thing Michelle warned him. He'd thought of having the uniforms escort the old man out of the building but that would mean his father would show up at the loft. There was going to be a confrontation. He might as well get it over with.
"So not only have you become a homo, you've decided to turn Jew boy too." Mr. Ellison showed his son the newspaper he had been carrying all day.
"Gee, Dad, I recall pictures of you lounging at the country club. That didn't make you a golfer. And there's the year that client gave you season tickets to the Mariners games. I don't see where you're in the baseball hall of fame."
Professors Sandburg and Futterman entered in time to bear witness to Jim's extremely lame attempt at something his father would understand.
Jim rose from his desk. “Why am I even bothering with this? You’re never going to get it and I have no intention of caving to your narrow minded attitude. Now if you’ll excuse me I have a city to look after.” He attempted to push passed his father but William grabbed his arm.
Jim drew back his other fist. “Let go of me,” he warned.
“Jim,” Blair stepped forward, “Come on, man, don’t do something you’ll regret.”
Jim turned toward Blair. “Oh, I don’t plan to regret it one bit.”
“Yes, James, go ahead. Hit your own father,” Mr. Ellison taunted. “See to what these two have caused you to sink.”
Jim lowered the fist grabbing a handful of the front of his father’s shirt. Jim stared him in the eye. “I’m not going to hit you... and you know why? *Because you’re not worth it. You're... just... not... worth... it.” He released the material shoving his father in the process. Frustrated Jim stalked from the room. Blair followed calling, “Wait up, Big Guy.”
Mr. Ellison then turned on Michelle. “I blame you for this.”
Michelle shrugged. “Thank you.” She started in the direction of Jim and Blair.
“You haven’t heard the last of me,” Mr. Ellison announced.
Michelle turned. “I don’t expect so.” She exited.
“However,” Simon Banks appeared from his office. “this will be the last we hear from you in this station. Otherwise, I will have your butt in a cell so fast you won’t have time to have anyone warn you not to drop the soap. And I’m going to recommend that Jim get a restraining order against you that will include Blair Sandburg, Michelle Futterman, Rainier University and anything else we can think of. Is that clear?”
“Crystal,” William Ellison spat sarcastically.
******************************************************************
“A restraining order is a great idea,” Michelle said sitting beside Jim. The three were now in the loft.
Jim leaned back and rolled his head back and forth on the back of the couch. “I know. I know.” He lifted his head. “It’s just despite everything I’d hate to have to get one on my own father... such as he is.” There was a pause. “Oh, no.”
“What is it?” Blair asked.
“He’s here.”
Michelle and Blair looked at each other.
“I can smell him,” Jim sighed.
They sat in anticipation until the knock was heard. The three looked at the door.
“You’re closer,” Blair told Michelle.
Michelle rolled her eyes but rose and went to the door. She took a deep breath before opening it to greet William Ellison.
“I figured you’d be here,” he said coldly as he entered.
“Do come in,” she responded with feigned pleasantness. She closed the door and followed him to where Jim and Blair were sitting.
“I just want to know one thing, James. Would you really get a restraining order against me?”
Jim looked to Michelle and Blair then to his father. “In a heartbeat.”
“I’m your family.”
Jim shook his head. “No. You were my sperm donor. They’re my family.”
William bristled. “You leave me no choice then. I’m writing you out of my will, removing every trace of you from my home. You are no longer my son.”
Jim shrugged. “I never was.”
William reacted as if punched. Somehow this was not the reaction he expected... but then again somehow it was. “And that’s your final word.” Jim said nothing. “I suppose it is.” He addressed Michelle and Blair. “I hope you two are satisfied. You have indeed managed to convert what was my son. No need to show me out.” He turned and left the loft.
“We are,” they said together to the closing door. They then turned to Jim.
Blair squeezed Jim’s shoulder. “You gonna be okay, Big Guy?”
“Yeah,” Jim answered in a tired sort of way. “And he’s right, you know. You did convert me.”
They looked at him puzzled.
“Into a human being.”
The End.