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SOUTHERN MAN'S KENNELS: Joke Page
WHY DOGS ARE BETTER THAN WIVES

1. The later you are, the more excited they are to see you.

2. Dogs will forgive you for playing with other dogs.

3. If a dog is gorgeous, other dogs don't hate it.

4. Dogs don't notice if you call them by another dog's name.

5. A dog's disposition stays the same all month long.

6. Dogs like it if you leave a lot of things on the floor.

7. A dog's parents never visit.

8. Dogs do not hate their bodies.

9. Dogs agree that you have to raise your voice to get your point across.

10. Dogs like to do their snooping outside rather than in your wallet or desk.

11. Dogs seldom outlive you.

12. Dogs can't talk.

13. Dogs enjoy petting in public.

14. You never have to wait for a dog; they're ready to go 24-hours a day

15. Dogs find you amusing when you're drunk.

16. Dogs like to go hunting.

17. Another man will seldom steal your dog.

18. If you bring another dog home, your dog will happily play with both of you.

19. A dog will not wake you up at night to ask, "If I died would you get another dog?"

20. If you pretend to be blind, your dog can stay in your hotel room for free.

21. If a dog has babies, you can put an ad in the paper and give them away.

22. A dog will let you put a studded collar on it without calling you a pervert..

23. A dog won't hold out on you to get a new car.

24. If a dog smells another dog on you, they don't get mad, they just think it's interesting.

25. On a car trip, your dog never insists on running the heater.

26. Dogs don't let magazine articles guide their lives.

27. When your dog gets old, you can have it put to sleep.

28. Dogs like to ride in the back of a pickup truck.

29. Dogs are not allowed in Bloomingdales or Neiman- Marcus.

30. If a dog leaves, it won't take half your stuff.

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AND NOW ONE FOR THE LADIES!!!

How Dogs Are Better Than Men

Dogs do not have problems expressing affection in public.

Dogs miss you when you're gone.

Dogs feel guilt when they've done something wrong.

Dogs don't criticize your friends.

Dogs admit when they're jealous.

Dogs are very direct about wanting to go out.

Dogs do not play games with you--except fetch (and they never laugh at how you throw).

Dogs don't feel threatened by your intelligence.

You can train a dog.

Dogs are easy to buy for.

You are never suspicious of your dog's dreams.

The worst social disease you can get from dogs is fleas. (OK, the really worst disease you can get from them is rabies, but there's a vaccine for it, and you get to kill the one that gives it to you).

Dogs understand what no means.

Dogs understand if some of their friends cannot come inside.

Middle-aged dogs don't feel the need to abandon you for a younger owner.

Dogs admit it when they're lost.

Dogs are color blind.

Dogs aren't threatened if you earn more than they do.

Dogs mean it when they kiss you.