#817: Horror of Party Beach

Meanwhile, on the beach, a convention of old teenagers bare their aging bodies and enjoy the really pretty good songs of a band called the Del-Aires. As sinewy men dance and wiggle their pelvi far too enthusiastically, a motorcycle gang arrives; a girl flirts with a gang member, and a fight ensues. The girl, angry at the loss of focus on her perfectly innocent striptease, swims out to a tiny island and is eaten.

A whole townload of fleshy cops and scientists, moving with the quick precision of a school of groupers, wake slowly to the possibility that they have a problem. When a whole slumber party's worth of girls is eaten these guys really begin working feverishly, and before too many weeks have passed they discover they have no idea what's going on. Eulabelle, a scientist's happy servant (those were the days, huh?), helps these stupid white men realize the monsters can be killed with sodium.

Which, basically, is what happens, after way too long a time. There's also a romance sub-plot, which concludes with two normal people beginning a normal life together.

Prologue: Servo is a Gyuto Monk, and achieves multi-layers of his own chanting voice.
Segment One: Pearl and Observer must convince Callipygeas and Flavia they're gods, so Observer produces a spoon and then a bigger spoon. Flavia sees Pearl talking to the robots, and remarks on the average-looking man-god, the golden spider duck, and the squat crimson pig.

Segment Two: Mike's trunks that the 'bots made him for the "manly beach dance" are a trifle small.

Segment Three: Still trying to convince their hosts of their god-dom, Pearl and Observer make some old-fashioned hoe-down music. Observer begins talk-singing about "Beef!"

Segment Four: Impressed with the ever-changing newspaper headlines in the movie, Servo irritates Mike with his own version, with headlines reflecting what's happening at that moment.

Segment Five: Dressed as the Del-Aires, Mike and the 'bots sing of sodium. Flavia and Pearl insult each other, a lot and viciously.

Stinger: The dancing on the beach, with eyes drawn to semi-nude sinewy fellow.

The Del-Aires gradually seduced us all with their playing ability, song-writing talents, and wry self-aware dorkiness. I mean it - they were a darn good band, and if anybody out there knows anything about them we'd be interested.

Reflexively, of course, we made fun of them anyway. Sorry.

This movie could be viewed as an allegory on the dangers of over-regulation. Sure, the dumping of radioactive waste would seem to be a bad thing, especially since it resulted in hellish monsters that ate people. And yet, didn't the free market stand ready to correct this mistake? Weren't there an endless array of sodium supply houses, efficiently providing exactly the stuff needed to kill the creatures? Who's to say that stifling regulations against waste dumping wouldn't result - albeit indirectly - in even more deaths, what with the loss of jobs and innovation?

The leading man, Hank, seemed genetically compelled to verbalize the name "Eulabelle" with a plantation owner's resonance and southern patois. Sadly, it was the only time he ever put any sort of spin on anything he said.
- Paul Chaplin

Mystery Science Theater 3000 movie/episodes availability on video and on DVD and even books

The best book for looking up movie titles and descriptions is the Movie / Video Guide by Leonard Maltin. If for some reason a film like this isn't available on videotape, you can still get Mystery Science Theater 3000: The Movie while supplies last...