Mystery Science Theater 3000 Presents

#909: Gorgo

This wormy layer of filmic offal from the Sceptred Isle portrays something not to be seen in England again until the administration of Margaret Thatcher: a prehistoric monster laying waste to the entire nation. We start in Ireland where William Sylvester runs a salvage operation. You'll remember Mr. Sylvester from his performance as the plank of wood in 2001: A Space Odyssey and as the generous portion of spiral-cut ham in our own Riding with Death. Volcanic activity causes a strange island to emerge off the Irish coast, nearly destroying the ship and ending the film before it starts. We are not so lucky. Sylvester -- or "Sly" as I like to call him -- and his mate Joe put in at a small bitter seaport filled with contrary Gaelic icthyophiles and a harbor master who looks a LOT like Samuel Beckett. They become embroiled in a subplot that goes nowhere and makes Finnegan's Wake look terse and lucid, and befriend a wee laddie who in this film replaces the characteristic uberkinder prevalent in Japanese monster films.

Somewhere about three hours into the film, Gorgo appears, cute little bugger, and is quickly and impossibly captured by Sly and Joe and the little Irish kid and brought to London to become an attraction in a circus run by a man with the delightfully provocative name of Dorkin. Ah, but we find that Gorgo himself is a child, and his Mom, Gorgette I guess, flattens whole city blocks and murders countless millions on her way to a sweet reunion with her adorable spawn.
Filmed loudly and badly, Gorgo still brought us joy in the opportunity to go on and on about things which are Dorkin!

Prologue: Crow finds out that his web is the perfect nesting place for the rare Spix's Macaw.
Segment One: Pearl has flown off to Los Angeles to find an ally in the struggle to bring bad films to Mike. She finds Leonard Maltin, who recommends the movie Gorgo. The two then get real pissy about lunch.

Segment Two: Based on one character's resemblance to Samuel Beckett, The Satellite of love presents its own adaptation: Waiting for Gorgot.

Segment Three: Mike is obsessed with winning the William Sylvesterr edition of Trivial Pursuit. The Bots have a hard time remembering who the hell William Sylvester is, exactly.

Segment Four: Perhaps inspired by today's movie, the Nanites put on a circus! With Nate the clown! Mike puts down his quarter to get in! But he forgets how tiny they are and the Circus is crushed! Horrible death and carnage! Wheee!

Segment Five: Uh-oh, crow and Servo have contracted with the mob to make a saucy calendar with the women from today's film. Mike helps the pair scan the film for attractive English and Irish women in our charming backhanded insult to both countries.

Stinger: Incomprehensible fisherman.

Leonard Maltin was very nice and sweet and a real pro when he did our show. He learned his lines quickly, had an instant rapport with Mary Jo, and rolled with many changes that came along. He is a charming, affable, thoroughly professional man. Too bad he gave Gorgo three stars, the dope.

Now on to Gorgo. It intrigues me to note that Steven Speilberg and Michael Crichton based their movie on the notion of a giant prehistoric monster smashing a city to bits while finding its offspring. But it only intrigues me for about a minute, then I work up a good belch and I feel better
- Kevin Murphy

Mystery Science Theater 3000 movie/episodes availability on video and on DVD and even books

The best book for looking up movie titles and descriptions is the Movie / Video Guide by Leonard Maltin.
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