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to The Brutal Zone. A few updates have taken place recently, as those of you who visit frequently (and I know there are a few) will have noticed. You will find the addition of more literature, and changes to shoutouts.
This, the day that wept on my shoulders. Still the same as yesterday. This path seems endless, and my body is numb. I've been here before, my soul has lost its flame. Why is it that I seek to destroy perfection I wonder? I doubt I will ever truly know the answer, but in my quest, I find the words below describe my current feelings perfectly....
DIE WHORE!!
She was My poor Angel, I knew her well
I really had no choice than to take her to My hell
As soulless as I am, as soulless as it gets
I don't give a fuck how she felt
I saw her pretty pale Angelface
And erased it from My memory forever
I saw her burn, fed her with flames
The Divine Burning Of Angels
Think those grieving thoughts
Feel your pain before you
Watch the sun set forevermore
Our lives grow short, Our lives grow dark
As the longing reappears in our hearts
She was My Dear Angel, I had her killed
I needed her soul to get My own fulfilled
She was like blood, she brought me lust
Her soul I now fuck!
I feel her trembling, inside My soul's on fire
Now I suffer from My hellish desire
Silence is broken, I hear her scream My name
She'll live forever in My mind insane
In rapture I remain as the wickedness stays the same
Inside My soul insane, I am reborn, I am reborn
In rapture I remain as the wickedness stays the same
Inside My soul insane, I am reborn
God bless you sweet Angel with My flesh inside Me forever
Your Devil's nest
My body, your soul, now together as one
Just accept your loss, I have won
You scream in pain, I laugh out high
I cannot fear a God's parasite
I watch you burn, feed you with flames
And continue...
The Divine Burning Of Angels
I have often been asked what inspiration I have for my writings - how I can say with such pride that I derive pleasure and satisfaction out of these thoughts. I can admit that the blood dreams I have, and the asphyxiation to which I am so addicted; the desires to both snuff and be snuffed out; the closer to death I wish to be - all these things have no religion at their core. There is no revelation at the end of the trance. Except perhaps in the 'rebirth' that is experienced after the acts are completed. When I gaze into the abyss, the world that I am returned to seems changed, new ... all at once better and worse. Some things are more appreciated, and some things are most definitely more despised.
And after each of these revelations it is the human race I find myself hating the most - disgusting repulsive ignorant man-fucking-kind, and the sickness we harbour within that precious few have come to understand and embrace.
But it is this change, this rebirth, with its new sight and burst of new breath that seems the gift. That seems the perfect purpose to these acts.
Choose from the dropdown box to view some of my writings. Enjoy!
Welcome to another small glimpse of my dementia. This one is not violent or bloody, but rather an example of my reflections ....
Unbalanced
What once had graceful symmetry descends into chaos
Leaving an anxious moment in between.
In this moment one can choose to reflect
Upon the perfect union of form and motion.
The incomprehensible understanding finally reached, finally cared about.
Or one can choose to be the unbalanced.
To understand and comprehend the true nature of balance,
Finally having unbalance to compare it against.
But for a moment and then, be destroyed.
Or one could choose to act,
To reach out and imperfectly restore perfection,
Only to fail and face the accusaton of the debri.
Or to succeed, chance destiny,
And therefore become God by one's own definition.
Or one could spend that precious, vital moment
Pondering: Do I have the right to ponder?
What's this you ask. Why, it's the good, the bad, and the ugly of course! Due to several major recent developments, these needed an overhaul and sadly it seems the ugly list is the only one that shows any signs of life. Read on.
Sabrina - my new found love ....
Is this ecstacy desire or will?
Inspiration bound from an elegant seed
Subversion, through smoke I foresee
Erotic motions of your soul
bring me forth another dream
Spawn worlds of flesh and red
and little jewels of atrocity
We fantasize and I fuse with your root
I burn with you when you burn in me
All my bloody love
Mark
Nancie - as you know the following poem was written a long
time ago, but not for anyone in-particular. These words are still yours, for you
are still a part of my soul.... Take me where I need to be ....
I can feel you
as I slide my hands around your neck
pushing back the head
Already, my skin is tingling
You search my eyes
and only find that I am looking right through you
For a moment
there was a silence
that filled both of us with fear
Suddenly I feel myself squeezing
tighter ... and tighter ...
consuming every whimper you offer
and soon..
The tension passes
and I feel myself floating out of mind.
I am smiling when in truth
your mouth is gaping
And the feeling swells inside you
At last my mind grows silent
as I watch you slip into that blissful haze
between life and death
and teeter at the edge of the abyss
That you are so completely mine
Was the height of my ecstasy
That you hand to me your life
Was the climax of all my possession
And I squeezed you
even tighter ...just once more
and the silence becomes darkness
My hunger almost sated
All at once
I pulled myself from you..
And in an instant of shock and new breath,
in a thunderous whirlwind of noise,
I rained down my praise
upon your belly your breasts your lips your hair
And slowly..... with each throbbing pulse
the world blurs back into focus
and the blood begins to flow again
and you live again to die again
Perhaps you are the only one
that would proudly wear my ring around your neck
A glorious tattoo of this affection
Who would hide a necklace
sewn of such unrestrained passion
Proof of my possession, my mercy, my love .....
"I exist to sate your thirst"......
so said the slave to the Master
blood and sex and death
the trinity that embraces me
your blood and mine.
Shannon - right now only 3 words. I am sorry.
Sharon - I haven't forgotten you. You know as well as any the beast that I am, yet you prove yourself loyal to the bitter end. That would be a quality the best of the rest fail to display, and I will always respect you for it.
Danni - the words "first " last " always" will forever hold true. There's buzzing & ringing in my ear, & I wonder where do I go from here? I remember a time when my mind was clean & clear. I remember the colour of your eyes change from blue to black " my fingers twist in a fist behind your back. I crumbled & I cried. I took a long hard breath & died..I don't remember what I did, don't remember what I said, don't remember attacking. If I could bend the hands of time if I could reel it in. & in the mirror who is that locking back, & I'm scared of whoever this is living in my skin. How do I undo the damage I have done?
Angie - seems you are one of the few who are true. You also truly accept me for who I am, and for that you have everything I can give, along with my undying gratitude.
MSM - I will put you in here, even though this technically isn't the place. I can only say when I speak with you all my burdens seem to fade away and I do not know how you do it.
Pinky - "'Til the end I shall keep breathing that air and living in my despair. The fires of hell are in my heart and when I depart I will take with me the faded memories and chance the chance of seeing you there."
Klink - sometimes lust just isn't enough.
Smudgie - I can only say you are as real as it gets.
Nikki bokker - you took the time to share my grief.
To Angela Rose, my Wicked Angel: With you I crossed that line from which there was no return. Sadly, every step I took in faith was betrayed. I never understood why I was the only one to fall, but in the end it didn't mean much. I weep not for the memories.
Yurii, seems you wish the cold silence to end. Hurt me, if you can....
Slither inside, can't go where I hide
So delicate and weak you dare not collide
The truth in me too dark to see
So bitter the taste now the poison runs free
On the dream that you once rode
Now your visions all corrode
You're the one that sent me, would I betray?
When all hope is gone and the damage done I'm still alive
The addiction's strong you can't erase me, won't go away
Of hatred and scorn, of the heart that's been torn
From a darkened womb in your dreams I was born
The first and the last out of the past
One final solution, now its coming down fast
Mel, so you think you know me better than anyone? You are wrong. Actions do indeed speak louder than words it would seem, wouldn't it? I am reminded of a song you once mentioned - I had to fall so far to lose it all, but in the end it doesn't even matter. I was feeling rather aggressive today, and I know you were always disappointed with your shoutout's in the past. I hope this goes some way to mending:
You march alone ...
As I wash my hands in your blood
Lick your punishment slut
This stern eye you fear
This condemning finger pointed at you
Make them both part of yourself
Make one out of two
And remember..
Regret is a worm born from your jealousy
Someone lives on in the depths of your heart
Fight your deepest feelings
Deny your own existence
It never heals, it never heals
Opposing darkness to obscurity doesn't lead anywhere
Shine if you want to be
Profound is the pain from which is born deliverance
Long is the path which leads to the light
Jess, I found the words once, but now you prove yourself no longer worthy of them. In itself, that suggests the end.
Jasmin, it's so hard to explain what I meant when I said that I wanted you dead, but I saw you fuck up and I just can't get back the feeling I had for you, And I watched and I just figured out that I will never see you again, and now I only regret that I cried because you would never do that for me.
Kerra, I have no fears to match this hate that came from you.
To my other Mel, strange to say once upon a time it fell like I'd been inside your head. You were so willing to share & trust, a quality too rare these days, especially in Vp. Then one day I found the real you - someone so self obsessed they could only find the time to wallow in their own sorrow, & that I simply cannot tolerate.
Janie, you proved you are just like all the rest ... worthless.
Mel, I suspect your actions of late have been directed towards securing a spot in this particular section. Consider it done.
Patty - Isn't it sad that in our blindness we gather thorns for flowers? And the suffering you have had to bear ... I'd die for that moment one more time.
To this particular section I must also add myself. Let this serve as a warning to you all I seduce to consume, and serving too many Masters means I need to feed regularly.
I thought this was a nice irony, given my eyesight is rather poor, to say the least. Yet, from time to time I have an inspirational vision. At least, this is what they are to me, and no-one, not even a sarcastic, whoring, man-hater can deny me. I will add to this section at a later date, so do return.
My name is Mark & I am 30. This is me. I am blind, figuratively speaking of course ~ so now I am even beyond hard contacts due to the sensitive nature of my eyes, and I have been forced to go back to glasses. The condition I have is called keratoconus, which equates to large bumps on the eye caused by a collapsing cornea. The photo I won't try & explain. Needless to say I was being a fool when the camera broke ... and before you all groan from that bad joke, it's no joke at all.
Initially I was apprehensive about including a pic of my ex-roomie on the same page - but then I came to realize something that ugly can only make me look GOOD! Bite me Martin. What follows may be considered offensive by some, so make sure you are wearing quality eye protection!
Well, I warned you. Here he is, in all his glory! Once again I wont explain how I got the pic. Let me assure you he had no qualms about posing, AND there are more but I will spare you that indignity. Seems the fucker is proud of his body... haha...what do you think? Oh, & Martin asked me to tell you that he has won the New Zealand Chess Championship twice, which is of course true. Once again confirming my theory that all chess players are lunatics (the exception being me of course)!
You should never take too literally what you read - misinformation, distortion, make belief, fabrications, half truths implied, misquotations, and out of context lies. To me this is Vp!!!
Vp is now dead, therefore so is this page. FYI, I am still using the sn Brutality in both the Vertigo and Voodoo chats. Currently, my personal preference is for Voodoo - with some pretty cool skins it is fast and lean. I know it lacks 'some' functionality but on the whole I am impressed. In the long term Vertigo may well be the best option, once a few bugs are smoothed out. Keep an eye on both these programs as far as Vp replacements go, for they are the best I have seen to date.
(c) Copyright 2002 The Brutal Zone. All Rights Reserved.
