From Chapter 6: the experience of Carolyn McCormick
"The details are unimportant, but as a child I was very unhappy. I often wished I'd never been born. I remember one specific day when I was five years old. I was sitting on the swing talking to God, whom I knew personally, and I let him have it! If I died and went to heaven, I'd let you know there is a better way to run the universe. Living on earth is so painful; there can't be any meaning to it! That core of anger seemed to define my life even in my young adult years.
"In 1966 I was married in a church, which my husband and I rarely attended. My commitment to God had waned. God seemed far removed from our daily life. That was true until 1970 and the birth of our second child.
"I had been diagnosed with placenta previa, a condition in which the placenta is implanted low in the uterus, at the cervical opening. It can present a sudden, profuse bleeding. The doctor had induced labor, and on my first contraction I hemorrhaged badly and was rushed to surgery for a C-section. The last thing I remember before going under the anesthetic was two anesthesiologists hovering over my head, arguing. One wanted to put me under, and the other didn't. One felt surgery had to be done immediately; it couldn't wait. The other thought my blood pressure was too low; the surgery might kill me.
"The doctor who wanted to anesthetize me won the argument. I 'went under.' The next thing I recall is 'waking up' in a different place. I was no longer in my body, and yet I was myself. I had a body, but it wasn't my earthly body.
"Right in front of me stood a rather large angel. I perceived him to be male. He wore a full-length white garment of loose fabric, like a muumuu. No wings. I don't recall seeing his face. His head was covered with a hood, which fell forward, obscuring a face. A bright light seemed to radiate from him...
"I don't remember how or why, but nonverbal communication was happening between the 'main' angel and me. There were no words involved; it was more like a mind link, a comprehension beyond human language. I said to him through my thoughts, Okay, what's this about? You know this can't be right! I was referring to both my early life and this painful physical disaster.
In a realm in which time seemed nonexistent, I was allowed to start my life over. Events were chronological, but time didn't exist. I reexperienced my whole life. It wasn't as if I saw my life or was told about it; I was there. I 'relived' the same feelings and the same experiences, but this time I was in two places at once. I was a baby or a toddler and was also aware of myself as an adult 'looking on' with an angel.
"I'll give an example of how it was while reliving my life. When I was three years old, anything that might have happened to me when I was five didn't exist in my consciousness. And I wasn't aware of people I met when I was ten. The review of my childhood could be stopped--put on pause--any time I chose. Then I'd ask the angel--no words, just thoughts--Okay, why did that happen? Show me why that was necessary or right.
"With each instance, the angel would point out to me the benefits derived from that situation in my own or someone else's life. He showed how it formed my character or helped me grow, how God had used that painful time for something very positive.
Afterward I'd say, All right, I see. I agree. It's okay that this happened, and then my life would continue. As I went on, scene after scene, a feeling of extreme love and joy welled up. There was no way I wanted to go back to my body.
"But then the angel let me know that I would be returning to my body...
"Yes, I had to go back. But I still negotiated: I wouldn't return to earth unless I was allowed to remember this other-worldly healing experience. I wanted to remember the reasons why everything had happened as it had. I wanted to remember that there was joy at the end of the earthly process I was going through. Going back to my previous limited understanding of my experience was something I definitely did not want...
"The angel told me it was time for me to go, and I said, No. I won't go until you give me words! I will not go until you give me words!
"Then the angel gave me the words 'Moths turn into butterflies,' and boom, instantly I was back into my body! ...
"Sometimes I wonder if perhaps the angel said moths because our spiritual transformation at death is supernatural, not natural. It is an even more complete transformation than the natural caterpillar-to-butterfly progression. God's realm is something beyond our human vocabulary. It simply doesn't fit into words. There are no words to describe it.
"When I 'came back,' I was like a new person. As I said, I had been angry with God all my life. The anger was gone. I had inner healing... now I was able to forgive those who had injured me or who I thought had injured me...
"I would advise anybody who has had a near-death experience or any other supernatural experience to immediately check it out with God's Word and with knowledgeable believers..."
